“Teddy hardly left my side in four years. It was like he always knew what I was thinking before I’d even thought it myself. And then...”
Jamie felt like her breath had died in her throat, her lungs refusing to cooperate. The day Teddy had died had been the day Sam had died, too.
They stared at one another. She watched as Brett swallowed. Neither of them wanted to talk about that day, because somehow Brett had made it home and her husband and Brett’s dog had been killed. She wished the comment had never come out of her mouth, but it wasn’t like she could take it back.
“Have you had any ongoing veterinary care for Bear? I’m hoping after all he did for the army that he’s on a full pension.”
He’d changed the subject but only just, although she wasn’t complaining.
“When I collected him he was pretty much healed, on the outside at least,” Jamie told him. “He had a bandaged paw still and lots of missing or singed fur, but they made sure he was almost back to health before letting me take him. And they seemed to look after him pretty well when he was quarantined.”
“I was the one who carried him back to the truck,” Brett told her, his voice low. “He managed to come toward me, but the ringing in his ears must have been as bad as it was in mine because he couldn’t even walk in a straight line, and his paws and legs were badly burned. There was no part of me that could have tried to get away without helping him, and it was like he wanted to do the same for me.”
Jamie refused to look away, no matter how uncomfortable the conversation was making her, because she knew how hard it must have been for Brett to talk about what had happened, even just a little.
“I can’t believe you even managed to lift him, after what had happened to you,” she said softly.
Brett dropped to his haunches and slung his arm around the dog. “If it hadn’t been for this boy,” he said, stroking the dog’s fur as he spoke, “everyone in that truck would have died that day. It wasn’t until I collapsed that I realized why my body was burning so bad, what a mess my leg was, and then I passed out from the pain and shock. Bear was braver than any of us.”
Brett was staring past her now, and Jamie didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. It was so nice having him here, having a familiar face to chat to, that she wanted to make sure he stayed for the afternoon.
“What do you say we take him for a walk?” she suggested.
Brett smiled, clearly relieved she’d changed the subject completely.
“Do you usually take him out?” he asked.
She grimaced. “It’s not that I don’t want to, but he’s kind of massive and I’m worried I won’t be able to control him if we come across another dog or something.”
Brett shook his head. “Did that husband of yours teach you nothing about this dog?”
She laughed. “No, because it was like they shared the same brain! Bear just did what Sam wanted him to do, like they had some silent communication thing going on, and he went everywhere with him so it wasn’t like I was ever in sole charge.”
Brett sighed. “Fair call.” He followed her inside and stood back as she locked the doors. “How about you tell me what you’d like to do with him?”
She checked the side door was locked before gathering Bear’s lead from a drawer and facing Brett.
“I guess I want to be able to walk down for a coffee and sit without worrying how to handle him if there’s another big dog coming toward us. And walk through the park, throw a ball for him and know he’ll come back when he’s off the leash, that sort of thing.”
Brett opened the front door and held it open for her, waiting as she clipped the leash to Bear’s collar.
“He’s too well-trained to have a fight with another dog, and he will never, ever chase a ball and not bring it back to you. It’s why he made the squad in the first place.”
“Were you with Sam the day he chose him?”
Brett shook his head. “No, but I remember him being so excited that he’d finally found the perfect partner. Bear was with a family who loved him, but they were moving overseas and had put him up for adoption. When Sam went to see him, he tested him out with a ball and he knew straight away that the black giant was going to be his sidekick.”
They fell into a comfortable rhythm, walking side by side.
“Is it okay to talk about him?” Brett asked, his voice an octave lower.
The question took her by surprise. “Yes.” They walked for a bit more before she continued. “I mean, it’s hard, it’s always hard, but it’s nice talking about him with you.”
“I half expect him to be at the house when we get back,” Brett said with a smile. “Waiting to give me a telling off about hanging out with his wife.”
“Yeah.” Jamie was smiling, too, but it was bittersweet. “I guess I’d become so used to him going away on tours, so for me it just seems like this has just been an especially long one. Like I’m just waiting for him to fly home and pick up where we left off.” It had been the same when her dad had never come home from deployment—like one day he’d just walk through the door again and everything would go back to normal.
“If it’s too hard having me here...”
“No,” she blurted. “Having you here is the only good thing that’s happened to me in a long while, so please don’t think you’re making me uncomfortable. It’s the complete opposite.”
* * *
Brett was pleased she wanted him here, but every time they talked about Sam made him feel plain weird for being with Jamie, just the two of them. Lucky they had the dog as a distraction, because it meant they had something to focus on other than the fact that nothing was like it had been the last time they’d seen one another.
“So you just give him a gentle reminder if he walks ahead of you by pulling the lead back,” he told her, closing his hand over it and showing her, “and telling him to heel, but you’re probably not going to need to do that very often.”
Brett didn’t move his hand when Jamie’s brushed past it, fingers almost closing over his before she realized. It was stupid—they’d touched plenty in the past—but having her warm skin against his reminded him of all the reasons why he shouldn’t have been here. Because there had been a time when he’d wished he’d asked Jamie out, before she’d met Sam, and they were dangerous thoughts to be remembering now that she was his friend’s widow.
“Brett, I don’t want to bring up what happened again, but I need to ask you one question.”
He cleared his throat and turned to face her. “Shoot.” So long as he didn’t have to relive what had happened again, he’d tell her what she needed to know. Those memories caught up on him enough without voluntarily calling on them.
“I keep thinking about the army sending Bear back, once they’d made the decision to retire him. Is it normal for them to care for a dog like that, even though their career is over, and then pay to send them home?”
Brett
