hers.
Tanner left the apartment building and plunged into the rain. He strode the two blocks to where he’d left his car, annoyed with himself for reacting so strongly to seeing Anna. She looked as pale as she had that morning. He was glad he’d thought to bring her something to eat. When a person felt bad, they often didn’t feel like preparing meals.
For a moment he remembered the good times they’d shared. He’d enjoyed her company more than he had anyone else in a long time. When he’d met her, it had been months since he’d been in a relationship with a woman. Jessica had been pushing for marriage, and after the disaster of his early marriage, that institution was the last thing he wanted. He’d broken it off with her last winter and concentrated on work.
Until he met Anna.
Most women followed a similar pattern—date, have fun, begin to talk about commitment and long-term. It was at that point he always cut the relationships.
But he and Anna had not reached that stage. In fact, she was the first one to ever ignore the possibility of a future together. Never once in the three or four weeks they’d dated had she even hinted. He’d been intrigued.
Now that he knew she was planning to move to Brussels at the beginning of the year it made sense.
He reached his car and climbed in, shaking some of the rain from his hair. Starting, he pulled out into traffic and headed home. He had a stack of files to review tonight, more interviews tomorrow. The thrill of the new job, the changes he planned, kept him keyed up.
Taylor had told him about each of the managers, their strengths and weaknesses. He’d been glowing about Anna. Each word emphasized Tanner’s decision not to date an employee. But he missed her. He would like to discuss company strategy, to find out more how she viewed the European market. To see if she still indulged herself with Ghiradelli chocolates and then did an extra ten minutes on the treadmill.
And, if he were honest with himself, he wanted more than a light brush of the lips.
In fact, he was surprised at how much he missed her. He hardly remembered Jessica. Before her he’d been involved with a woman named Margo. While his focus had always been on business and the push to succeed, he did like having a pretty companion to go to social events with.
With Anna it had been different. He was still attracted to her. He and Anna had laughed a lot, he remembered that. For a little while he’d thought he’d found the perfect companion—someone to relax with, to share interests and entertainment. And someone who would not expect to end up married. He should have known it was too good to last.
His rule was hard and fast. He had certain standards he adhered to and not dating a fellow employee was one—especially when she reported directly to him.
Still—she was leaving in a few weeks. Maybe they could work something out.
He shook his head, astonished he’d even give thought to such an idea. Business was business and pleasure was entirely separate. He planned to see it stayed that way!
Tonight he had a stack of files to review, tomorrow it would be back to business. Anna could take care of herself. She didn’t need him bringing soup, or calling to check on her. And he certainly didn’t need to be kissing her.
Anna entered the doctor’s office the next morning feeling as sick as she had the day before. The brief respite she’d found last night had not lingered for long. As soon as Tanner had left, she returned to bed and slept the night away.
She refused to think about Tanner’s kiss. They were no longer involved. He had made that very clear. And she had her move to Brussels to look forward to. As soon as she was well, she needed to begin getting her things packed, decide what to take and what to store at her parents’ place and begin winding up her own position in the home office in preparation to her new posting in Europe.
“Miss Larkin?” One of the nurses called her from the doorway.
She showed Anna into an exam room asking her how she felt. Anna told her she was there for anything that could mitigate the symptoms of flu.
“There’s not much,” the nurse said as she took Anna’s blood pressure. “Bed rest is about the best thing. Sometimes we can give medication that will ease the nausea and diarrhea to avoid dehydration. Do drink plenty of fluids.” She noted the blood pressure reading on the chart and glanced over it. “I see it’s been a while since you’ve been in to see the doctor.”
Anna nodded. “Normally I’m as healthy as an ox.” She wished she felt healthy this morning. She longed to get back to bed.
“The doctor will be only a few minutes. Why don’t you change into the gown while I tell him you’re here.”
Normally Anna liked seeing Dr. Orsinger. He was an old-fashioned general practitioner who took a friendly interest in his patients. When he breezed into the exam room, he asked how she had been aside from the flu, jotting notes as she talked. She took that opportunity to ask him if he knew of any special medical forms she would need in anticipation of her move to Europe. He asked about the new assignment, where she would be living and for how long she would be out of the States.
He drew routine blood work, reviewed her medical history to make sure she was up-to-date on tetanus. When he finished his exam he asked her to wait a little while so that he could go online to see if there were any health alerts for Europe of which she should be aware. She agreed. Changing back into her street clothes, Anna hoped the wait wouldn’t be long. She still felt shaky and tired. A short time later Dr. Orsinger returned. He looked at her oddly.
“No health crises in Europe, I hope,” she said.
He motioned for her to sit down and he leaned against the edge of the counter containing the sink.
“Did you suspect you’re pregnant?” he asked.
Anna stared at him, certain she had not heard correctly. He had been her doctor for years. He knew it was impossible for her to get pregnant.
“You know I cannot have children.” Her voice sounded calm. She’d long ago come to terms with her inability. Except for each time when her younger sister called to announce she was pregnant. The most recent call this weekend was the third time. That hurt.
Or when her best friend had her first baby two years ago.
So most of the time she’d come to terms with her inability.
He lifted the report the nurse had given him and read it again. “Anna, we can repeat the test, but I don’t think the report got mixed up.”
Anna stared at him in shocked disbelief. From the time she was sixteen years old she’d known she would never have children. The automobile accident she had been involved in had caused such great scarring both externally and internally. The external scars had faded over the years, but internally she was still messed up. Doctors had told her she would never conceive. Over the years, she’d grown used to the fact, even if she still railed against fate from time to time. She put on a good front when visiting home and seeing her sister’s children or her brother’s daughter. Just last weekend she had once again feigned happy recipient to the news her sister was pregnant again. Inside she’d screamed with the unfairness of life, but she let none of those feelings spill out. Even those who knew her
