that the other families had vacated the room and let her sleep into daylight hours. She tried to digest the nurse’s words. Did taking Laura off the ventilator mean she was rallying or that this was a last time to talk?
“Is Deputy Gardner back? Or should you call him?”
“He’s on the way,” the young nurse said. “Now why don’t we find you a cup of coffee and a little time to wash up and you can go see your sister.”
Jessie took a few minutes to pull herself together. She tried to avoid really looking in the mirror, knowing she wouldn’t like what she saw. She felt haggard and haunted and knew from experience there would be circles under her eyes. Splashing cool water on her face, she found a comb in her purse and ran it through her hair.
Then she remembered who she would be seeing. This was her beautiful sister who was always after her to take better care of herself. Drawing a shaky breath, Jessie forced herself to do her hair with more attention and found a tube of lipstick in the bottom of her purse. She willed her hand not to shake as she put it on, and then went in to see Laura.
Jessie stifled a gasp when she saw her sister. Laura seemed to have gone downhill rapidly in the five hours or so that she’d been sleeping. Her face was even puffier than before, and bruises of all colors streaked everywhere. Still, there was a little more focus to her one good eye. Jessie saw that the head of Laura’s bed was raised so that she was lifted into a better position to breathe or speak.
The nurse who’d gotten Jessie from the family lounge positioned herself there, leaning over. “Laura? We’re going to take you off the ventilator like we talked about. You may not be able to stay off of it long, but this will give you a chance to talk to your sister.”
Then the nurse looked at Jessie. “I’m going to have to ask you to step to the doorway for just a moment so that we can take the breathing tube out. I’ll call you back in less than a minute.”
Jessie nodded, too upset to speak right now without letting Laura hear the panic she felt. She stepped to the other side of the curtain that made up the front wall of Laura’s cubicle. Outside Deputy Gardner was there again.
He didn’t look much more rested than she did. His hair was slicked back as if still wet from the shower and his blue shirt and red tie looked hastily put on. “Ms. Barker. They paged me at home. Are things worse?”
“It looks like it. They’re taking her off the ventilator so that she can talk.” Jessie felt her eyes fill with tears. “Do you want to speak to her first? I know you need to ask her questions about who did this.”
The investigator shook his head. “You need to talk to her before I do. She’s on enough pain medication that she may not be able to answer my questions anyway. Plus, she’ll probably panic if she sees a stranger first. When you’ve had a chance to talk, maybe I’ll come in.”
Jessie appreciated his kindness, but she knew that there might not be much time. She wanted him to get as much information as he could, to find out who had done this to her sister.
“You can come in with me now. I’ll tell her who you are. And after we’ve had a chance to talk I’ll let you have your time.” It was important that Laura talked to the deputy in case she could identify her attacker.
The nurse motioned them back in and Jessie went to the head of Laura’s bed, sitting in the chair next to her and making herself stay dry-eyed. “Hi, sweetie. It’s me. I’ll stay here as long as you want me to.” Her sister’s hand reached out and grasped hers with surprising strength. “And the man with me here is Deputy Steve Gardner. He’s one of the people investigating what happened yesterday.”
There were so many things she wanted to say to her sister. So many questions that she might never have time to ask. I will not cry now she promised herself. “I love you,” she told Laura. It was the most important thing she could say.
Laura’s breathing was rough and uneven. Her hand let go of Jessie’s and reached for her face. The effort failed before she made contact. “Jessie?” The word rasped out of her sister like a rusty gate swinging open. “You’re beautiful.” The effort of three words seemed to use all her strength. Jessie didn’t push for more. Instead she grasped Laura’s hand again gently and patted it as softly as possible.
Laura’s breathing became ragged and panic played across her ruined face. “We’re going to have to put you back on oxygen,” the nurse said as she stepped in. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to speak to her.” Jessie realized that the nurse was looking over her shoulder at the deputy.
“Next time,” he said.
Jessie felt like thanking him for his brave words. There probably wouldn’t be a next time, but there was no sense in saying that in front of Laura. In a few minutes her sister was breathing easier again, pure air going to her lungs and pain-killing drugs coursing through her system. Jessie sat in the hard plastic chair still patting Laura’s hand and willing herself not to cry. She felt so many regrets, and most of them went back more years than she wanted to admit.
Unbidden, her mind swirled back to an incident twenty years before. She could almost hear the leaves crunching under their feet as they walked home from school to the foster home where they shared a set of bunk beds.
Even then she’d been hard on her sister. “So you had that dream again. It’s just a dream, Laura. Nobody will ever believe it’s real. I’m not sure I even believe it’s real anymore.” Their foster mother, Mrs. Dinkins, always said that Jessie was the smart one and Laura was the pretty one. Being smart didn’t seem to matter even back then, because Laura could charm her way out of almost anything.
That day Jessie got gum in her hair and Laura had somehow known what to do. She always knew stuff like that, the things you couldn’t learn from books.
While Jessie haunted the library, Laura’s favorite reading was Mrs. Dinkins’s glossy magazines. If they went to the drugstore Laura always went to the magazine counter to read the ones with models or movie stars on the front.
Usually Laura’s knowledge served her better than Jessie’s book learning. That day she’d gotten the gum out of Jessie’s hair in a flash, working in egg white like shampoo while their foster mother was upstairs soothing a fussy toddler.
Jessie could still picture her sister in the kitchen that afternoon squirting green dish soap in the sink, bubbles rising around her hands. That was Laura’s favorite thing, getting everything all clean and in a row.
If her sister had problems, she hadn’t thought to ask about them. Then, as now, Jessie just dumped her own problems on her sister instead. The memory of the incident probably lasted longer than the reality that afternoon. Jessie looked down at the figure on the bed, not seeing her through the blur of tears. “Those really good times never lasted long,” she whispered. And now she knew those times were over for good.
THREE
At ten that morning the deputy insisted on taking Jessie home. “I don’t care if you come back in an hour, but you need to get a shower, some different clothes and have your own car here.” His expression said he didn’t want any arguments and Jessie couldn’t think of any good ones anyway. She couldn’t remember being this tired and worn-out before.
“Will you go back to the hospital?” she asked on the ride back to the condo. It seemed longer going home, but then they paid attention to speed limits and traffic laws this time.
“Not
