through her chest, reminding her of her loss as if it were a fresh wound, as if Gil had died only last week instead of ten years ago.
After all, she was content with her life now. She had accepted the fact that for her there would be no wedding day, no children, no growing old together. That part of her life was over, even if she was only twenty-seven years old. She had moved on. She had developed things in her life that were pleasing to her. She helped women in the East End; she gave them some hope, she thought. She matched wits with others at her eccentric aunt’s salon. She danced at parties and went to the opera and flirted when she felt like it with certain men to whom she knew it meant no more than it did to her.
Her life was full—or full enough, she reasoned. There were other women who had less than she, aristocratic women who had married as they were expected to and lived in loveless unions with nothing to interest them except clothes and gossip. There was her own sister, for instance, tied to a man like the Earl of Exmoor, miserably childless and panicked by fear that she would once again miscarry.
Better by far the life she had. Nicola swallowed hard and stood up from the bed, straightening her dress. She was foolish to wallow in her old grief, she told herself sternly, going to the dresser and pulling open drawers until she found where the maid had stowed her nightdress. She laid the gown out on the bed and began to undo the buttons of her dress.
No more thinking about her lost love. No more feeling sorry for herself. It was an isolated instance, she reasoned, brought on by being back here at the place where it had all happened. But she had grieved for Gil for ten years; she had long ago gone through the dark pit of despair and come out without losing her sanity or her life. She had learned to live the life that had been given to her. And she was not going to let herself be overwhelmed by old grief just because she was at Tidings.
On that firm note, she slipped out of her clothes, neatly laying them aside over the chair, and pulled on her nightgown. Extinguishing the oil lamp on the small bedside table, she climbed into bed and settled under the covers. But even though she determinedly shut her eyes, it was a long time before sleep crept over her, and when it did, tear tracks stained her cheeks.
“ISN’T IT A LOVELY MORNING?” DEBORAH asked, setting down her teacup and gazing happily around her at the small garden. “I am so glad that you suggested taking tea out here.”
It was midmorning, and she and her sister were sitting in the little garden beside the house, sheltered on one side by the looming house and on two others by an outside wall. It was a mild winter’s day and pleasantly warm in the small area. Winds did not reach here, and though in the afternoon it was cast deep in shadows, in the morning, the sun shone brightly in it. Two stone benches had been placed here long ago for enjoyment of the sheltered location, and a small fountain and delicate green bushes enlivened the area.
Nicola smiled at her sister. Deborah looked much better this morning. Obviously she had had a good night’s rest—more than Nicola herself could say—and just being out of the house had brought a little bloom to her cheeks. Nicola was glad that she had suggested coming out here to have their cup of tea while they chatted.
“Yes,” she agreed. “It is pleasant. I am so happy to see you looking well.”
Deborah grinned. “Not as happy as I. It is wonderful having you here. Now…” She leaned forward, eyes alight with curiosity. “You must tell me all the gossip from the City. Mama wrote me that that plain little Penelope Castlereigh has caught our cousin Bucky. Is that true? And is Lord Lambeth really marrying an adventuress?”
Nicola made a face. “That certainly sounds like Mother’s version of events.”
After Gil’s death, ten years ago, Nicola had left the area, unable to bear the constant heartbreak of living where she and Gil had loved. She had moved to London to live with her aunt, and her mother, angry with her at the time for having turned down Lord Exmoor’s offer, had been happy to let her go. But after Deborah had married the Earl, Lady Falcourt had relocated to the City herself, where she had insisted that Nicola come to live with her. Anything else “looked odd,” she explained. Nicola suspected that it was simply that she wanted someone to listen to her recitals of her many illnesses and their symptoms, and to offer her the appropriate sympathy and errand-running. She had resisted for some time, much preferring life with her forward-thinking aunt, but at last she had given in to her mother’s tears and whinings, as was usually the case, and had moved into her mother’s house.
While Nicola ran the household, her mother rested, kept up a voluminous amount of correspondence with people all over the country, and received the calls of her numerous middle-aged female acquaintances. As a result, though her mother rarely left the house, she knew all the gossip about everyone in Society—not only in London but in the whole of England.
“The truth is, Bucky simply woke up to Penelope’s wonderful qualities.” Nicola grinned, adding, “However, Marianne and I helped to lay a little trap.”
“Marianne? Oh! The beautiful red-haired woman at Bucky’s party?”
About a month earlier, Nicola had come with a number of other guests to her cousin’s estate for a house party. Among them had been Penelope Castlereigh, a distant cousin of the Earl of Exmoor, as well as Nicola, Lord Lambeth, and a beautiful woman named Marianne Cotterwood, whom Bucky at that time had been pursuing. Deborah had attended the ball Lord Buckminster had given during the weeklong house party and had met the guests, even though she had left early due to her “delicate condition.” She had, therefore, missed the tumultuous conclusion to the party, which had included a kidnapping and shooting.
Nicola looked at her sister, wondering how much of the story she had heard from Richard. Nicola suspected that Deborah’s husband did not tell her everything, especially any events that might reflect badly on him.
“Yes. That is Marianne.”
“Isn’t she the one whom Lambeth is marrying?”
Nicola nodded. “Yes, but she is not an adventuress, as Mother said.”
“Then who is she? Tell me about her. I had never seen her before—or even heard of her.”
“No one had, until Bucky tumbled knee-deep in love with her. It is quite a tale.” Nicola looked at her sister’s bright eyes and rising color and decided that a bit of gossip was doing her a world of good. “I met her only a week or two before Bucky brought everyone down to his estate for the party. The fact of the matter is, she is the whole reason that Bucky even had the party. He was quite enamored of her. Bucky and Penelope met her at a crush of Lady Batterslee’s, and Bucky urged me to invite her to a soiree Mother and I had the next week. Of course, I did; I was dying of curiosity to see who this ‘Mrs. Cotterwood’ was. Bucky could talk of nothing but her. I liked her immediately, but I was a little concerned because Bucky was so head-over-heels.
“Frankly, I was a trifle worried, too, that she might be an adventuress,” Nicola continued. “Besides, I knew how much Penelope loved Bucky, and I kept hoping that someday he would wake up and realize what a treasure he had right there in front of him. So I was quite prepared to dislike Mrs. Cotterwood. But once I met her, I couldn’t help liking her, just as Penelope did. Marianne had no interest in Bucky. In fact, she is the one who came up with a delightful scheme that cooled Bucky’s fever for her and threw him right into Penelope’s arms.” Nicola smiled at the memory. “I wish you could have seen her performance.
Whenever Marianne was around him, she played the most shallow, self-centered creature in existence, making sure always to leave him with Penelope for comfort and advice. Eventually, even Bucky saw that he was
