at home,” he snapped without warning. “You’re always working so I just did it. If you hadn’t been snooping through my bag—”
“I wasn’t snooping. I was picking up and even if I had been snooping, that’s my right. I’m your mother, Christopher, and I have the responsibility to know what’s going on with you.”
“You didn’t even know it was time for the cards. You don’t care what happens to me!”
“That’s not true! I love you and you know that! If I didn’t, why would I care what kind of grades you make?”
He mumbled something she couldn’t understand—except for a single phrase. “If Daddy was here…”
She stood stock-still. “Do you think your father would approve of this?”
He scuffed the carpet with one dirty sneaker, then looked up. “It wouldn’t have happened if he was here! He always checked my cards…and my homework, too.”
She actually opened her mouth to contradict him—Reed had never shown the slightest interest in Chris’s homework—she’d always been the one who helped him. Every night, until last year, she’d sat down with him right after dinner and gone over all of his work. When he’d announced he was too old for that, she’d hesitated, then acquiesced.
She snapped her mouth shut instead of pointing all that out. She’d made a vow when Reed left that no matter what happened, she wouldn’t criticize him in front of Christopher. She’d seen too many kids in her office, confused and upset, to visit the same grief on her son. When one parent disparaged the other, it sent a single message. “Your father is a bad person. Therefore you are, too….”
She counted to three silently and forced herself to calm down. “Well, then…checking your homework is something we’ll start doing again, you and I. Every night. All of it. Just like we did before.”
He mumbled another answer she couldn’t understand, then he tried to grab the bag from her hands. She held on to it and for just a moment, they were connected by the nylon straps. It made her think of all the ways they’d been joined before. In the womb, by holding hands, by the hugs he used to give her. Now this—a link of anger and lies.
The realization made her feel awful and her pique fled, like air suddenly released from a balloon. If she wanted to be upset with someone, it shouldn’t be Chris, it should be herself and Reed. This was all their fault. When he’d left his son behind like a old pair of shoes he no longer wanted, she should have taken up the slack. Checking out his friends, keeping track of where he went, watching over him as closely as she could…it wasn’t enough. Christopher was hurting inside and handling it like any normal fourteen-year-old boy would. With anger. The weight of responsibility she constantly carried on her shoulders got a little heavier.
She relinquished the bag with a sigh. “Christopher, this is important, okay? I understand that things aren’t the way you want them to be right now, but you can’t come up with solutions like this. It’s not acceptable.”
He opened his mouth to argue but she held up her hand and stopped him. “Tomorrow we’ll sit down and discuss this some more and I’ll decide how I’m going to handle it. I’m going to visit with your teachers, too. At the very least, you’re grounded until further notice.”
He was protesting before she even finished speaking. “That’s so not right—”
“No!” She spoke louder than she intended and he fell silent. She shook the report in her hand. “Forging my signature like this is what’s not right, and you’re going to suffer the consequences. Now go to your room and start your homework.”
His backpack bouncing behind him, he ran out of the living room and pounded up the stairs. Maria dropped to the couch and covered her face with her hands.
THE PHONE RANG shortly after eight. Maria pulled off her reading glasses and reached across her desk to answer it. She’d been going over Ryan Lukas’s report one more time, but she wasn’t sure why. She wasn’t really paying attention; she was thinking instead about Christopher and wondering where she’d gone so wrong. What kind of psychologist was she if she couldn’t even control her own kid?
“Maria? Did I catch you at a bad time?”
Lena McKinney’s voice reached through the fog of Maria’s thoughts and brought her back to the present. Their relationship had started out as a professional one, but it had slowly evolved into a more personal connection and Maria was glad. She admired Lena tremendously; anyone who could manage the kind of men she did possessed more psychological skills than Maria.
“No, no. I was just thinking, that’s all.”
Lena chuckled. “That sounds dangerous.”
“It can be, then again, who knows?” She rubbed her eyes wearily and spoke. “What’s up?”
“Well, two things, actually. I’ll give you the easy one first.”
“That doesn’t sound good.”
“I think you can handle it. I wanted to remind you about the open house next week. You’re still coming, aren’t you? To Angel’s Attic?”
Maria drew a blank, then Lena’s words registered. She and Lena both volunteered at the local women’s shelter. Always short on funds, the home for abused women and children ran a secondhand store called Angel’s Attic but it never had enough money. To supplement the budget, a buffet dinner and auction had been planned. “Oh my gosh, the benefit! That’s next week?”
“Monday night. It’ll be at the shelter. Starts at six and everyone’s included. You can bring Chris.”
“Thanks for reminding me. Things have been so nutty around here, I had completely forgotten.”
“No problem…now for the second reason I called.” Lena paused for a moment as if gathering herself. “I wanted to know how it went with Ryan today. I’ve been worried.”
Maria remembered his angry eyes. “Well, he wasn’t happy. He thinks the leave is going to ruin his career.”
“That’s ridiculous. It’ll ruin his career if he keeps going like he has been.”
“I tried to explain that, but he wasn’t buying. He’s in complete denial about everything.” Maria twirled her glasses thoughtfully. “When you called and set up his initial appointment you mentioned something about the way he approached his job. I can’t remember exactly what you said then, but I have a feeling it was important. Can you tell me again?”
“You probably don’t remember because I didn’t know how to explain it. It might not have even made sense,” Lena answered. “The only thing I can say is that he does his job with perfection. Too much perfection.”
“He’s too perfect?”
“He’s like a robot. He hits the target every time.”
“And that’s a problem?”
“Yeah,” Lena said softly. “It is. A good sniper depends on more than perfect aim. And until Ginny died, Ryan had it all—compassion, intelligence, insight—and excellent shooting. Now all he’s got is his steady hand. That bothers me.”
“He’s
