hollow beneath the healthy tan, his long hands still strong and dependable, although they too looked leaner. Yes, Joshua was far from happy in this marriage too.
Their conversation was slow and impersonal through dinner, as it usually was, Joshua asking her a little about the book; but her abrupt replies were not encouraging. Joshua refused wine with his meal and also a brandy afterwards, and Joanna knew what that meant.
‘I have to go back to the clinic for a few hours,’ he told her as he replaced his empty coffee cup on the tray.
‘Yes.’ She had known what was coming.
He seemed to hesitate. ‘What will you do?’
‘Have an early night. Read a book.’ She shrugged. ‘Don’t worry about me, I have plenty to do.’
He was frowning darkly. ‘But I do worry about you, Joanna. You must get very lonely here on your own in the evenings when I go back to work…?’
No,’ she told him coolly. ‘I find ways of occupying my time.’
‘I’ll go and change, then.’ He turned abruptly, going up to his bedroom.
Joanna dismissed the housekeeper for the night once she had come in to remove the coffee tray, and went slowly up to her own room. She could hear Joshua in the adjoining bathroom, and suddenly the idea of a long soak beneath scented bubbles seemed very appealing. She undressed to don her silk robe, sitting down in front of the dressing-table to cleanse off her make-up.
She heard Joshua leave the bathroom a few minutes later and so she went through herself. Everything had been left as neat and tidy as usual, not even the toothpaste tube out of place, squeezed meticulously from the bottom.
She ran the water into the deep sunken bath before searching through the bathroom cabinet. The wide cuff of her robe caught the top of a medicine bottle, unbalancing it, and Joanna watched as it fell, almost in slow motion it seemed, to shatter on the floor.
The adjoining bathroom door was instantly flung open, and Joshua took in the situation at a glance. He was dressed for work now in one of his superbly tailored three-piece suits, grey tonight, with a white silk shirt. ‘Don’t move,’ he instructed tautly.
But his warning came too late. His unwarranted presence here when she was dressed in only a robe caused an involuntary reaction in her, and she stepped backwards, straight on to the glass, gasping her pain as a piece pierced the sole of her foot.
‘Stand still!’ Joshua rasped as she would have moved once again, crunching across the glass in his shoes to swing her up into his arms and carry her through to her bedroom.
Joanna froze at his physical contact with him, lying stiffly in his arms, beginning to breathe again only when he had placed her on the bed and moved down to examine her foot. If he were aware of her aversion to his touch he gave no sign of it, treating her as impersonally as he would any other patient.
‘It doesn’t look too bad,’ he straightened. ‘I’ll just get something to clean it.’ He went back into the bathroom, turning off the bath-taps as he did so.
Joanna took this few moments to collect her thoughts together, to try and gauge her reaction to being touched by Joshua after all this time. She didn’t have one, not revulsion, and certainly not excitement. It had been as if she were being touched by a stranger, and not the man she had shared her most intimate moments with, not the man she had once loved so much. Where had all that love gone?—because it certainly had gone!
She could look at Joshua now and see all the things she hadn’t seen in the beginning, the coldness in his eyes, the lack of emotion in his handsome face, the flashes of hardness she often felt in his actions. Yes, she could see it all now, now that it was five years too late.
He was back in her bedroom now, bending over her foot. ‘Sorry,’ he murmured at her gasp, the jagged- looking piece of glass now in his hand, a wad of gauze stopping the flow of blood. ‘Does it hurt?’ he asked softly as he bandaged the foot after cleaning it.
‘Not too badly,’ she shrugged off the digging pain she could still feel. ‘Aren’t I lucky my husband is a doctor? she added lightly.
Joshua looked up with a heavy frown, searching her face for signs of the sarcasm evident in her voice. ‘Yes,’ he answered abruptly, his mouth tight, finishing off the bandage before straightening. ‘That should be all right now, but the bath is out, I’m afraid.’
‘It’s only a question of keeping my foot out of the water—isn’t it?’ she said sharply.
He shrugged. ‘Yes.’
‘Then I’ll still have my bath—thank you.’
His mouth twisted. ‘Go ahead. I’ll just go and clean up the mess in the—–’
‘I’ll do it.’ Joanna flushed, and swung her legs to the floor, pulling her robe hurriedly together as it parted slightly to reveal her nakedness.
Joshua turned away uninterestedly. ‘Please let me do it,’ he said hardly. ‘I wouldn’t like there to be any more accidents.’
Her eyes flashed her resentment of his patronishing tone. ‘Do it, then,’ she dismissed curtly.
With a coldly assessing glance in her direction he went into the bathroom, leaving Joanna seething. Anyone would think she had knocked the damned bottle over on purpose!
‘All done.’ He was back within minutes. ‘What were you doing in that side of the cabinet anyway?’ he asked mildly.
‘Looking for something,’ she mumbled, unable to meet his gaze. They each had their own side of the spacious bathroom cabinet, and she was as aware as he that she had knocked the bottle from his side.
Joshua didn’t move, dominating the room with his height and breadth. ‘What?’
‘Just something,’ she snapped. ‘Look, I couldn’t find what I was looking for in my side, so I wondered if Mrs Barnaby had put it back in your side this morning when she tidied up,’ she defended as he still seemed to be waiting for his answer. ‘It was as simple as that. Anyway, I’ve remembered now that I threw the empty packet away yesterday.’ The colour in her cheeks seemed to be a permanent fixture, heightening Joshua’s curiosity, she felt sure.
Heavens, it was months since they had talked as much as this—and she wished they weren’t talking now!
‘What was it?’ he asked softly. ‘Perhaps I have some I can let you have.’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t think so.’
‘Tell me and maybe—–’
‘No!’
His eyes narrowed at her uncontrollable outburst. ‘What was it, Joanna?’ His tone was inflexible, demanding an answer this time.
Her head went back in anger, her expression resentful. ‘What do you think it was?’
‘I have no idea.’ He spoke deceptively low, the hard determination of his jaw belying that tone. ‘Tell me.’
It was a command, not a request, and Joanna knew it. If
