if they are. They learn how to act to turn a womanâs head. They watch lots of films, read romantic novels, and textbooks on how to conquer a woman. They pick up phrases, pleasantries, similes, which win the hearts of middle-aged women, even careful and intelligent ones. In fact, according to a statistical study, it seems the intelligence factor is always at a high level in these scammed women1. Ghanaians, Nigerians or Malaysians, no matter where theyâre from, the scammers use every tool the globalised world offers them to get to know the psychology, the dreams, the way of thinking of a western woman. Moreover, itâs by no means rare that the handsome man writing to us from the other side of the world is really another woman. Probably younger than us, but most definitely cunning and skilful. A professional organiser of Romance Scams, the sophisticated and lucrative love-affair scams.
Some stories of women scammed on the web
An example of some of the phrases copied and pasted when contacting women online:
«I miss you so much, youâre necessary for my heart and soul. Youâre my day, my night, my moon, my sun. Youâre the one and only queen of my heart. I really miss you, my days are getting sadder and sadder».
Melania
What does a still young and attractive woman from Rimini lack, to persuade her, in a delusion of love, to transfer payments for 24 thousand euros into a strangerâs account?
Melania2 is 40 years old, she lives in one of Italyâs most 'open-minded' cities, the most famous holiday resort in Europe; culturally vibrant, visited by tourists, conference participants, businessmen, artists of all kinds and ages. Does Rimini perhaps lack opportunities? I wouldnât think so. Yet Melania finds her romantic love on the web; but itâs a romance scam, a cybernetic mess that impoverishes her resources and quickly becomes a thorn in her heart that will torment her for a long time.
When Melania reads the online message from John, a soldier in the U.S. Army, she doesnât wonder how come the man in uniform has contacted precisely her. No, she thinks âThe power of Facebook! How could I ever meet a man like this if I werenât on the net?â
Melania is not naive and clueless, sheâs forty, she has a degree in biology, works for a public institution, has a former husband who she left out of boredom and incompatibility of character.
«I saw your photo - John writes to her - and for two days Iâve been waking up at night with your face before my eyes. I like what you say in your profile. I think youâre a fascinating woman. May I ask you to be friends?»
«Why not - Melania thinks - a polite manner of introducing himself in a man with good qualities is always welcome.»
The friendship begins with the exchange of messages, first daily, then hourly: morning, afternoon, evening.
«Iâm a soldier in the United States Army and Iâve been stationed in Afghanistan for many years now.» John tells her about his days, the dangers he lives through, his regrets for one day having had to divorce his wife who betrayed him (the cheat). His dreams of having a traditional family, a loving wife with whom to plan a future. A life together full of love, passion, values, respect. As well as travel and fun.
Strangely enough, John asks very little about her. He seems not to care who Melania really is, how she lives, what she believes in, what religion she practices. In this, the American is very open-minded. And, if at first Melania is a little surprised, she soon gets used to it. An outsider would have immediately understood that (the so-called) John couldn't give a damn about Melania, but she doesn't. She starts to be dazzled by his phrases and to justify his obvious indifference as open-mindedness. After all, you canât expect the narrow-mindedness of an Italian lover from an American man, a soldier who has travelled the world.
Melania, on the other hand, takes great interest in him, what he tells her, the words he writes to her:
«Darling, itâs getting harder and harder to get to sleep at night, in the darkness of my room, without you beside me, without holding you close to my heart. Without seeing your marvellous eyes half-close with the pleasure of my caresses on your soft skin, kissing you to bring you happiness and ecstasy. The happiness that only two soul mates feel when fate brings them together».
«What are you doing? Dear John, how do you spend your days? - asks Melania. - What do you want from a woman to make you happy?», and in the following message he replies: «I want a woman like you! Oh, Melania, marvellous creature, where have you been all this time? Why didnât you bring me happiness before now? Where were the scents of your skin? your body, your womb, the colours of Eden that I see in your eyes. Where was your mouth that I dream of kissing all the time? When will I be happy and satisfied? I canât wait any longer. May I call you darling? Donât tell me Iâm moving too fast! Iâve never suffered and been so happy because of a woman like this before. I suffer because youâre so far away, Iâm happy because youâre in my life now and anyway I feel you close to me. Youâre inside me. We are one!».
See how much passion John the soldier manages to convey?
Completely smitten, Melania increasingly lowers her defences and her objective judgement criteria. She cares very little now about her job, her friends, her hobbies. Johnâs messages, Johnâs promises, the prospects of a happy life together, lead her to imagine intense days filled with new things, happiness, travel to the USA to meet his family, and why not, to join him in Afghanistan.
She starts to fantasise like a teenager about to experience her first love. She plans their meeting and eliminates any obstacles to her happiness before they even appear. She could go and join him in Afghanistan, she could ask for some time off work.
The public authority where she works allows this sort of leave. She can already see herself dressed in camouflage fatigues, crossing inaccessible desert areas, in a white Land Rover. She starts to read up about it, she buys books, including âViaggio a Kabulâ [Journey to Kabul] 3, where a whole new world starts to appear before her: the snow-capped mountains of Hindukush, the cobalt blue of the sky, the ochre colour of the ancient abandoned cities along the Silk Route, and the noise, the myriad colours of Kabul. And with all of this, her fantastic soldier, John.
What can her phoney lover ask her for, at this point? Probably anything....
The facts teach us that Melania agrees to all his requests. Her involvement is so all-encompassing that not even a hint of a possible scam would awaken her from his spell. She is in the (virtual) hands of John, who asks her to pay with (real) money for the dream he has given her.
«I gave you what you wanted!» heâll tell her later, when heâs found out.
But let's see how the story continues
While she plans her trip to Kabul, he begins to devise a tour of his own around Italy. Get to know Rimini, go to the sea together; see Rome and Venice while theyâre on their honeymoon full of happiness.
Melania changes her plans for exotic excursions shifting them towards cultural explorations in the Vatican museums and romantic getaways in the narrow streets of Venice. What does it matter! America and Asia can wait, the important thing is to have her beloved John at her side!
The
