fine, Dad,’ Lauren replied. ‘Ella and I were just having a time-out. We’ll be down soon.’
‘Good. I thought I’d best check up on you, that’s all. Are you okay, Xander?’
‘Yes, Tom. You?’
‘Fine. Thanks for picking up Sam, by the way. I appreciate it.’
‘Ella?’ I said. ‘You could sense me before, couldn’t you? Can you hear me now? Look this way again if you can.’
But she didn’t. She gave no sign that she could sense me at all. The moment was gone; the spell broken.
‘Come on!’ I shouted. ‘This isn’t fair. Why can’t any of you see that I’m right here?’ I ran from person to person, screaming in each of their faces, waving my hands wildly in front of their eyes. ‘Why can’t you see me? The bloody dog can do it, for God’s sake. Why can’t you?’
Finally I knelt down again by Ella’s bed, holding my hands up in supplication. ‘Please, darling. Please give me something more. I know you could sense me just now. I’m so lonely here without you, Ella. I’m begging you.’
But it was futile. As far as my family was concerned, I was gone. I no longer existed.
I suppose I ought to have taken strength from the fact that Ella had sensed me again. It was, after all, my first sign of a breakthrough since the time she’d answered me in her sleep. For some reason, though, it had the opposite effect. I felt dejected, like there was no point in going on. The whole being dead thing seemed far more real – and final – now the funeral was over. The only definite in my future was Lizzie’s deadline.
I sank into depression and the days slipped by. Lauren and Xander returned to the Netherlands and Ella moved in with Mum and Dad. I went too and kept trying to get through to her, but my heart wasn’t in it. I made no progress and, although I thought about seeking Arthur’s advice, I couldn’t motivate myself to find him. I felt paralysed. Then one rainy morning, when Mum and Dad had taken Ella to school and I was alone in my childhood home, something snapped. It dawned on me that more than three weeks had passed since my funeral. There were just five and a half weeks left now until my deadline. Then I would have to decide whether to stay or go forever.
Despite what I’d told Lizzie, I knew deep down that there was a serious choice to make. It was hard to admit, as I was desperate to stay here with Ella, but I knew I had to at least consider the idea of moving on if things didn’t change. The problem was that I had no idea who or what I might find on the other side. Nor did I know the full implications of staying here for all eternity as a spirit. A paranoid part of me wondered whether I could take Lizzie’s word as gospel truth. What if she wasn’t who she said she was? That might explain her unhelpfulness. Then I recalled Arthur saying she’d asked him to attend my funeral. Perhaps I couldn’t trust him either.
Stop being ridiculous, I thought, reminding myself of Arthur’s support. He was the closest thing I had to a friend in this in-between world I occupied. I needed to contact him and, with the clock ticking, now was as good a time as any. So as soon as Mum and Dad returned home and I was able to slip out, I walked to the church. I found Arthur under the lych gate, sheltering from the rain.
‘Hello, lad. How are you doing? I expected to hear from you sooner.’
‘Hello, Arthur. I let things get on top of me for a bit, but I’m here now. I’ve got a lot of questions. Any chance we could have a chat?’
‘Of course. Let’s get somewhere a bit drier.’
He held out his hand and, as soon as I took it, we appeared together on a pew inside the empty church.
‘Hold on,’ I said. ‘Why did you want to get out of the rain? Why were you hiding from it under the lych gate?’
‘It’s coming down quite hard, in case you hadn’t noticed.’
‘I had, but only because I can see it. I can’t feel it at all. I can’t feel anything. Can you?’
‘That’s an interesting question,’ Arthur replied. ‘The answer is complicated.’
‘I’m in no rush.’
‘No. I don’t suppose you are. I assume you have other things to ask too.’
‘I do.’
‘Okay. How about I start by summing up all the important stuff? You listen and then, afterwards, you can fire away with any questions you’ve still got. What do you say?’
‘That sounds good.’
‘Excellent. I’m not sure how much you’ve already been told, but I’m guessing not a lot, so I’ll start with the basics. When we die, our souls are released from our bodies. It’s the same for all humans. What differs is where they go to next, which depends on what each person got up to during their life. Some are invited upstairs and some go downstairs.’
‘Heaven and Hell?’
‘Essentially, although those are just names. I prefer not to use them any more. The reality of what happens after we die isn’t as simple as folk like to think.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘Well, look at you and me – detached spirits in the land of the living. Where do we fit into Christian doctrine?’ Arthur ran one hand through his white hair. ‘It’s only the really bad apples who go downstairs. The rest get another chance, although I’m not the one to tell you about what happens up there. I’m as clueless as you on that score.’
‘How—’
‘Bear with me, lad. Listen now; ask questions later. The big difference is that the bad apples don’t get any say. Their souls are marched away – and that’s it. The option to stay here is strictly an upstairs thing. You’ve earned the right to retain your free will. Hence you get to choose whether you want to move on or not. Most do, of course. Otherwise, there would be spirits walking around all over the place. How long do you have left to decide?’
‘Until December the twelfth.’
‘That’s generous. The situation with your daughter has obviously been taken into account. Anyway, I’m sure it’s already been made clear to you that, should you choose to stay after that point, there’s no second chance. You’ll be stuck here for good.’
‘Like you?’
‘Yes, like me.’
‘Why—’
‘Later. Let me finish. You asked if I could feel anything. Well, yes, some things. Not like I could when I was alive, but to a degree. How to describe it? I suppose it’s a bit like touching something when you’re wearing rubber gloves.’
He paused for a second before adding: ‘For you it’s like walking around
