to reinforce the attitude that this is a health-promoting procedure, many people find it helpful to begin with an affirmation. Nothing rigid or forced, just a gentle statement of intention. Usually, when I lead a meditation I begin with:
Let your eyes close gently.
Turn your thoughts inward.
Remember that this is a time for healing.
However, for you at home, simply repeating the last line works very well.
Some people feel comfortable following this with prayer and, of course, prayer can be highly beneficial. Something brief like “Not as I would, O Lord, but as Thou will” seems particularly appropriate, while many repeat longer prayers. Of course, prayer can have real benefits in its own right. More advice and a summary of interesting research in this field forms Appendix D.
Where to Meditate?
It makes obvious sense to be in as conducive an environment as possible. You will find it easiest when you feel secure, free from the prospect of interruptions and distractions and when you are in a quiet, comfortable space. A group of people all doing the same thing is very supportive, but meditation can easily be embarked upon in private.
Choose a room where you feel comfortable, preferably a room that is away from any bustle. If necessary, ask other people to leave you undisturbed. Be prepared to ignore the front doorbell or telephone should they ring. Initially it is good to use the same place regularly and to practice at the same time each day, if possible.
Posture
Now, what position should we use? The position you choose needs to satisfy only two criteria—it needs to be a position that is symmetrical, and a position that has an element of discomfort in it.
Discomfort—why should we be uncomfortable to begin something that is intended to be relaxing, pleasant and beneficial? Using this technique, the mild, initial discomfort soon fades from our awareness. It is essential to begin with it, however, as it makes us concentrate more. This works to make the relaxation more profound. The more uncomfortable we are when we begin, the deeper our level of relaxation has to be for us to regain a feeling of comfort and ease. Please just try this, as experience will soon show that this mild discomfort is a really useful ingredient in the process.
For most people what works well is to simply sit in a fairly upright chair, feet flat on the floor, just a little apart, hands resting comfortably on your thighs or cupped in your lap. Not much discomfort in that, but enough to be useful. Ideally, it is helpful to have your back fairly straight, although if the need is strong, you can lie down. As a beginner, closing the eyes is an effective way to start, but as you advance, they may just naturally open a little. As you meditate more, you may even like to experiment with sitting cross-legged on a cushion on the floor. However, the main thing is to take up a position you can relax into and stay in for the period you wish to meditate.
Step 2 • Relaxation
Now we are ready to use our body as the tool to guide us into the experience of meditation. We do this by training our body to relax, feeling what that relaxation is like, and letting it flow into our mind.
In the beginning we use a simple, formal procedure to capture the feeling of relaxation. Once we have done that and can reproduce the feeling, we can speed up the technique and simplify it, but every time we begin a session of meditation, we do take the time to consciously relax.
Remember that what we concentrate upon in this technique is a feeling—in this case, the feeling of relaxation.
Start by Becoming Familiar with Relaxing Individual Muscles
Be assured, this is a very simple technique. How it works is that we concentrate on one area of the body at a time. First we feel whatever sensations we can notice in that area. We simply notice how that particular area is feeling at this particular time. Then we contract the muscles in that area and make them tense. As we do this we notice the different feeling created by the tension. We feel the tension and then we relax the muscles. By repeating this technique through all the areas of the body we quickly learn how to relax the body very deeply indeed.
To do this as a complete exercise, first we need to go through the different areas of the body, learn how to feel them, create tension within them and then relax them.
We begin with the feet. Having taken up our chosen position, we let our eyes close gently and put all our attention on our feet. To do this exercise really effectively, we shift our center of awareness. Normally, our center of awareness is in our head, around about the space between our eyes. We feel as if that is the central point of everything for us. Now, by closing our eyes and concentrating on our feet, we feel as if they have become our center—almost as if we are “in” our feet. We then find that the feet do have a particular “feel.” If you find that hard to realize at first, the second step makes it more obvious. You now contract all the muscles in the feet to impose tension on that area. In effect, you are making the feet rigid so they are tense and immovable. The feeling of tension is quite different to the feeling of relaxation. Feel that difference. Next you let the muscles relax, and you pay attention to the feeling of the muscles relaxing, the feeling of letting go.
So there is the simple process. Feel the area, contract the muscles, and let them go.
Learning to Relax the Muscle Groups in Our Body
Another necessary step in learning this technique is to familiarize yourself with how to contract the different muscle groups. Remember that this is the introductory part of the technique and that if you follow it, you will soon experience meditation proper.
When it comes to relaxing physically, the forehead and the hands are particularly important, as over 60 percent of the body’s nerve endings are in these two areas. The more nerve endings we relax, the more the message goes back to the brain to relax. Therefore, the more we feel the relaxation, the more we become truly relaxed.
As the body first relaxes, often it begins to feel very heavy. It is so loose and relaxed—it feels as if it could just melt into the floor. Then, as it goes deeper into the process, it begins to enter a phase that we describe as “letting go.” A new lightness comes over it. Sometimes there can be a tingling, a sensation of warmth; invariably there will be a sense of comfort, pleasure and ease. If we let our mind go along with this feeling, we soon lose all awareness of our body and surroundings. Noises seem far away and inconsequential and we are left with an expansive, floating feeling. This feeling of “letting go” can be likened to a sensation that is similar at first to floating peacefully in warm water. Then it is as if we were dissolving out into that water. We feel as if we are taking up more space than just the normal confines of our body.
The Progressive Muscle Relaxation Exercise
Having become familiar with contracting the various muscle groups and relaxing them, we are ready for our first meditative exercise—the progressive muscle relaxation (PMR). We need to go with this a little, to trust in its simplicity and allow ourselves to move into it. The body is the guide. As we feel the body relaxing, we notice our thinking processes winding down, and as the body enters the state of “letting go,” we allow the mind to flow with it.
To lead ourselves through this technique based on physical relaxation, we speak quietly to ourselves. In our mind, we talk ourselves through the exercise using the simple, abstract phrases reproduced opposite. In the group situation, I lead people by saying these words aloud. At home you can begin by learning them, then repeating them quietly to yourself, or you could use a CD or download with the words
