British Bulldog is the animal that we see as most summing up the British spirit, reflecting our never-say-die attitude (see blitz spirit), combative loyalty, tendency towards inbreeding and propensity to snore heavily. The slack-jowled canines are less aggressive than modern ‘devil dogs’ such as variations on the American pit bull, but they will stand their ground and match any breed when riled. The dogs also lend their name to the classic playground game British Bulldog, which is a kind of disorganised free- for-all licence to assault fellow pupils.
These distinctive decorative hangings are a sign of celebration and good times: the lengths of string and pieces of triangular cloth are hung across village streets, school fields or outside council offices. Most often used to mark a summer fête or a street party, bunting is usually red, white and blue, displaying a touch of patriotism. Bunting is also used to decorate used-car sales outlets, signifying that the secondhand car business is a non-stop party. Traders displaying bunting are obliged by law to blow one of those party streamers should you make a purchase.
Founded in Basingstoke in 1856, Burberry grew to be one of Britain’s best-known premium clothing brands, with its raincoats being seen by those at the top of society as the de rigueur thing to wear during a downpour, be it in Berkeley Square or in rural Buckinghamshire. Burberry invented the trench coat for the War Office at the start of World War I, as well as kitting out Armundsen for his South Pole mission. Its reputation as a fashion brand has lead to Burberry being one of the most bootlegged ranges in the world, with fakes featuring its distinctive brown and beige tartan fabric popping up on market stalls everywhere from Romford to Riyadh. The Burberry baseball cap has become the signifier of football hooligans and chavs (see chav), leading many bars to ban them and the brand to cease their manufacture. In 2006 Burberry closed its manufacturing base in Treorchy, South Wales, moved its operations to China and thus ceased to be a truly British brand. Ironically, counterfeit Burberry is often more British than the real thing now, with much of the fake designer wear being made on industrial estates in the Thames estuary area.
To the Scots, Robert Burns is every bit as important as William Shakespeare as a literary figure. The poet wrote in English and in Scots dialect and is probably best known for writing the lyrics to Auld Lang Syne, which most of us can just about half remember by the time we come to sing it each New Year’s Eve. Burns died at the age of just 37 (from a rheumatic condition thought to have been worsened by prodigious drinking), though he left enough of a legacy to be celebrated each year on 25 January, when Scots and their descendants mark Burns’ Night. This occasion sees Burns’ Address to a Haggis (see haggis) being read, which is followed by a large amount of haggis eating and whisky drinking. Robert Burns is in no way related to Montgomery Burns from The Simpsons, though he is celebrated in the United States by having two towns named after him.
Hated by pube-haired television petrolhead Jeremy Clarkson and loved by former foreign secretary Margaret Becket, caravanning brings the British characteristic of amateurism to holidaying. After all, why stay at a hotel when you can tow around a small tin can that contains a chemical toilet and a foldout bed? Most true caravan enthusiasts carry a small tartan flask with them at all times, so that the police can be sure they are not new age travellers or gipsies.
This series of 30 comedic films ran from 1958 to 1978 (let’s ignore 1992’s mirthless disaster Carry On Columbus), creating a uniquely coherent documentation of British tastes, attitudes and humour throughout the period. The films were at their best from the mid-1960s to mid-1970s, containing a wonderful blend of self-deprecation, self-aggrandisement, saucy seaside humour, prudery, sex-starved wives, hen-pecked husbands, camp and red-blooded male fantasy. Not every film hit the spot, but any that contained the mix of Sid James, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey, Joan Sims and Bernard Bresslaw was usually a winner. The series’ finest moment came with Carry On Cleo in 1964, which was filmed on the set of Cleopatra and is memorable for the Kenneth Williams’ line (as Julius Caesar): ‘Infamy, infamy – they’ve all got it in for me.’ Though Sid James (as Mark Antony) also manages to sum up the series’ attitude to foreign languages with the simple expression ‘Blimus!’. Another seminal (quite literally for boys who were reaching puberty at the time) Carry On moment was when Barbara Windsor’s bra flew off during a workout in 1969’s Carry on Camping, which is one of the best-known scenes in British cinema history.
The Queen (see Queen Elizabeth II) is notorious for being easily bored, so most mornings she gets up, puts on her ermine dressing gown and screams, ‘Won’t someone change this bloody guard, I am bored of looking at them now’. This distractedness is fortunate for tourists, who love to see the pomp and ceremony as different regiments and companies hand over the keys for Buckingham Palace amid a display that reflects the very best of British tradition. It is colourful, dramatic and rather baffling for all but those taking part. More baffling still is the retention of the mounted Queen’s Life Guard on Horse Guards. These mounted troops sit in place for most of the day, ready to save the Queen should she be involved in a swimming accident, despite there having been no swimming facilities in the immediate vicinity since the time of the reign of Queen Victoria (see queen victoria). On hot days the Queen has been known to feign distress in a small inflatable paddling pool, just to make sure that the Life Guard are paying attention.
Origins of this shorthand term for white working-class youth are much disputed, with everything from Romany, Geordie and Kentish slang offered up as the true source of the name given to this group that mostly shops at JD Sports and considers a trip to Matalan as ‘a bit posh’. Male chavs mostly don tracksuits, trainers and Nike or (fake) Burberry baseball caps, while the female of the species often scrapes her hair back in the tight ‘Croydon face lift’ style, usually teaming WAG fashion items with something in white polyester to show off her fake tan. Confusion has reigned in town and country since male chavs started to adopt expensive outdoor wear brands such as North Face and Berghaus, especially as the latter was previously worn mostly by over-60s on rambling outings (see hoodies; rambling). This strange brand appropriation can cause great consternation when seeing an anorak-clad group approaching, not knowing whether they are going to drunkenly harass you or offer you some Kendal Mint Cake.
The summer months do odd things to us Britons, bringing out our pagan past and our desire to mark the season with odd festivals, strange sporting events and suicidal chases after things we could quite easily buy at Tesco (or Waitrose
