Start the Car: The World According to Bumble. David Lloyd

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Start the Car: The World According to Bumble - David  Lloyd

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for his rubicund complexion), Telegraph men Derek Pringle and Scyld Berry, and Times duo Simon Barnes and Alan Lee are all fully-fledged members. So as Nasser and I head off for a curry, we rib Athers about his social and culinary aspirations. His defence is always something along the lines of: ‘I’m from Newton Heath. I’m just a bloke from Newton Heath.’ However, while I am tearing into a naan bread and lamb rogan josh, he will be contemplating lamb shoulder, accompanied by turmeric potato, tomato confit, pineapple-coconut salsa with a rapidly reducing jus. The latter being the kind of thing Willy Wonka might have concocted to go alongside his everlasting gobstoppers.

      A typical Atherton menu:

      Starters

      Pig’s trotter, sweetbread and apricot salad

      Beetroot and liquorice terrine, apple purée, pickled walnut

      Chilli salt squid with nuac chum, lime, mint and coriander

      Warm asparagus, goat’s cheese crème, toasted hazelnut, brown butter vinaigrette

      Mains

      Slow-roasted antelope loin, aubergine soufflé, butternut and tomato

      Magret duck breast, confit leg tortellini, pea parfait, nectarine and juniper

      Seared beef fillet, soy braised mushrooms, pomme cigar, carrot-honey purée, bordelaise syrup

      Pancetta-wrapped monkfish, pommes fondant, roasted pear, braised apple and red cabbage

      Desserts

      Whipped gorgonzola, mustard pear, pistachio sable

      Boysenberries, bitter chocolate ganache, lemon thyme and buffalo yoghurt sherbet

      Amarula panna cotta, smoked fudge foam, espresso ice cream.

      Nasser Hussain – aka Unlucky Alf

      Nasser and I have become very close friends since his retirement, not that our relationship has ever been anything other than very cordial in the past. In fact, during our England days, I had pushed for his inclusion in the Test team when I was coach – and was rewarded when he scored a double hundred in the Ashes victory at Edgbaston in 1997 – and also lobbied for him as an opener in the 1999 World Cup. I was as happy as anyone with the success he made of the England captaincy – and he did it his own way. When he eventually got the job it was at just the right time. For many different reasons, circumstances were on his side. Whereas previously the England team used to turn up on a Tuesday, hours after their last county appearance, now they were on the verge of central contracts and a greater level of professionalism. The job had moved on massively in two years, and Nasser used that to his advantage brilliantly and was very creative as a captain.

      He can be really good fun now, but he was nothing like that as a player. The Nasser Hussain I knew built himself up through such a crescendo of concentration before each match, bubbling away for hours before reaching boiling point at the toss, that you were better off not talking to him. It was his way of preparing for the contest ahead: as an emerging player he always wanted to be on his own, and would immerse himself in the detail of getting his own game right. He wanted to prepare privately, which meant intense net sessions and extra throw-downs to fine-tune his batting. Everything was about his individual game during the period in which he was establishing himself as an international-class batsman, and the team ethic only came as he matured. For the first half of his England career he would be very snappy in preparation, and it was not until a match got under way that he calmed down. We are all different, and he was one of those players who wanted a lot of time to prepare for Test matches.

      Captaincy undoubtedly increased his awareness of others, and others’ respect for him. There were already significant signs of this development in his character, in fact, when his name was first bandied around for the national captaincy. Nasser had fronted the England A tour to Pakistan during the winter of 1995–6, and the reports that came back from John Emburey and Phil Neale, who were in charge of that trip, spoke glowingly of his approach to the job and his ability as an on-field leader. In summary, they believed him to be a very good captaincy candidate for the future. However, his volatility and perceived self-centredness were to count against him after Athers stepped down as England captain in the spring of 1998.

      Because of the glowing report from the A tour, there was some support for the Essex man. Unfortunately, it was not coming from the Essex corner. Sitting on the England Management Advisory Committee were two fellows from Chelmsford, Doug Insole and David Acfield and when the time came to discuss the subject of Atherton’s successor at a specially convened meeting chaired by Bob Bennett, they were unequivocal in their conclusion. ‘Under no circumstances should you consider our chap as captain of England,’ they insisted. ‘He would be absolutely awful. He is far too volatile a character.’

      However, Nasser was showing distinct signs of maturing at that time, and those lingering doubts about his temperament did not prevent his elevation a little over twelve months later, following Ashes defeat and an early exit from the World Cup, which coincided with my resignation as England coach. What I would say is that it was on the 1998–9 Ashes tour that Nasser really came of age both as a Test match batsman and as an individual. It was there that you began to appreciate his awareness of the team ethos – to the extent that there was no longer any reason to doubt his captaincy credentials. Yet, even upon his appointment, I am not sure Duncan Fletcher wanted him as his leader. But whatever his initial thoughts, no one can argue about how good a partnership they made. Arguably, people soon began to appreciate that behaviour which may on the one hand be seen as insular or selfish can equally be viewed as a sign of determination and ambition.

      Thankfully, for the purposes of this chapter, the position of responsibility did not completely rid him of the petulance and fiery temper for which he was renowned in his youth. As strops go, Nasser’s were of a seriously high standard. We can all think back to our junior and club days and recall some great dressing-room ranters, I am sure, but this guy was an Olympic qualifier. And his best-ever barney is still available to the rest of us in the Sky Sports commentary box now. It came during the opening Ashes Test in Brisbane in 2002–3. Naturally, the first match in any series against Australia is always going to be a humdinger – you throw everything at them and they return it with interest – so Nasser was probably regretting asking the Aussies to bat first, particularly after Simon Jones’s horrific injury in the field left him a bowler light.

      In fact, it was Jones’s knee damage that accounted for the presence of two crutches in the England dressing-room. They came into view as a cameraman panned around the Gabba’s stands following Nasser’s dismissal. His camera then fixed on the balcony of the dressing-room, a place of relative serenity, it appeared, with coach Duncan Fletcher gazing up at the television screen, presumably awaiting the replay of the dismissal. Duncan did not move a muscle as Nasser walked in and therefore appeared on screen, directly behind him – there was no ‘Unlucky’ or ‘What’s happened there, then?’ Nothing. He just kept his eyes fixed on the monitor overhead.

      Neither was Fletch moved as this bat flew across the room; he just kept staring up at that telly. Never once did he look at his captain. Nasser was remonstrating, arms akimbo, to his team-mates, pointing at the replays. Fletch did not flinch. He probably anticipated what was coming. Unfortunately, poor Simon Jones clearly didn’t, and was not in a position to do anything about it anyway. To release his frustration, Nasser made a grab for the crutches and attacked them with gusto – standing on them, bending them, kicking them. Poor old Simon was just sitting with his leg up, helpless. Goodness knows what he must have thought as he contemplated a serious setback to his international career. We play that episode to Nasser every now and again to cheer him up. It is absolutely priceless television.

      Nowadays

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