want to know what’s wrong with you,” he countered.
It would be easy to let her anger turn her into her mother. To give over to an existence that was a torrent of negativity. It was why she rarely let herself get mad. Anger was a drug. It messed up everything in your life and for everyone in it. It was a cancer. And even in small doses it was a luxury she hadn’t been able to afford.
Carefully now, though, she was ready to let some of it free. It wasn’t overwhelming, it was...real. Real enough to not get swayed by his looks, or the way she loved him still, so very much.
Pissed off was a good defense against his charm and it wasn’t junk punching, so it was a good compromise.
“You haven’t changed at all.” Which made her tired and sad. She moved to the hatch but he intercepted her, a hand at her wrist. The cramped space was usually comfortable, but right then it was confining.
“How can you say that?” He’d shifted so that he remained between her and the hatch to leave.
“Shouldn’t you be off to your show soon?” Kelly looked at a spot just over his right shoulder, telling herself it didn’t matter that he was either blind to what was happening or that he was willing to let her walk away because he couldn’t be frank.
“Not until we talk. How can you say I haven’t changed? That’s unfair, Kelly.”
She shifted her attention from that spot over his shoulder to his eyes. “This entire conversation is making me really cranky.”
Kelly spun the ring she wore on her middle finger. The familiarity of the movement enabled her to get her words together. She hoped he really listened.
“If I recall correctly, we had a version of this non-conversation conversation complete with a non-apology apology years ago. You didn’t have the balls to say what you did out loud then, either. Still getting pissy that someone other than your mother was calling you on it. Lucky for you, she’s still your number one girl and she’s just inside. Save your bullshit for her.”
Yeah, it was harsh, but no less truthful for it.
“That’s mean,” Vaughan said.
“Mean? Fuck you, Vaughan. That woman called me a whore. Because her precious son fucked his marriage up and then never had the decency to tell her the whole truth. She’s in my house, after eating at my table. For that matter, you’re in my house, too, and I haven’t set either one of you on fire yet. I’m not mean. But I’m not a doormat. Not anymore. You may not have changed, but I have.”
He paused. “I’m sorry I brought this up right now. Sorry because I have to leave shortly for the arena, like you said. Sorry because I want to talk to you honestly but now isn’t the time.”
“It never is.” She pushed against his restraining hand and he let go, moving aside so she could get out of there. Once her feet hit the grass, she hurried back inside, leaving him to do whatever it was he needed to do.
That little discussion up in the tree house had been some sort of epiphany. For years she’d told herself it didn’t matter. That it was over and done. That she had to focus on her children and building her business. And she did need to do those things. To do them still.
But this...mad bubbling up from her belly was cathartic. Invigorating. She had to call Stacey to give her the news. Her best friend had been telling Kelly for years to get mad. Now that she had, it made a difference.
Stacey would say I told you so, but it was cool. Kelly would have in her friend’s place, as well.
“BEFORE WE GO out there and kick ass with this last show, you want to tell me what you’re up to?” Ezra, Vaughan’s oldest brother and someone he trusted implicitly, didn’t look up from his case where he’d just pulled out his guitar and handed it off to his guitar tech. They were backstage, just minutes out from showtime. Ez had some sort of meditation-type thing he did now instead of being fucked up so he radiated solid calm. Utter confidence and capability.
Just being around Ezra made Vaughan feel better. More focused. Everyone seemed to react that way around the oldest Hurley son.
Though Ezra had stumbled into the pit of addiction, he’d fought his way back. He was stronger than anyone Vaughan knew. Protective of those he loved. Vaughan had already gone to him just that afternoon for some advice, but it helped to bounce his thoughts off his brother’s brain.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier today. After you and I talked, she and I had this... It was a fight.”
Ezra shifted his attention then, turning to look directly at Vaughan. “A good one or a bad one?”
“There are good ones? Oh, you mean the ones with sex after? No, definitely not that. But she didn’t stab me with broken glass, either. I said I was sorry. About before. Sort of. She didn’t think it was a good apology. Oooh boy, did she get pissed. Told me off.”
Vaughan told Ezra about how he’d stumbled into Kelly’s tree house hideaway and their argument. “She gets annoyed with the same stupid crap everyone else does. But she only very rarely gets angry.”
He’d never revealed to anyone what Kelly had grown up with. At first he’d told himself it was to respect her privacy. Her story was her business and he had no right to share it.
While that had been true in part, it was also because he’d known what she’d been raised by and he’d hurt her anyway.
“She can’t stand to be around truly angry people. Her mother, well, you’ve met her.”
Rebecca was unpredictable. Kelly’d built her entire life around keeping her mother on the other side of the country. Or, if they had to be in the same place, managing her to keep Rebecca from making a scene.
Her mother had an impressive variety of ways to create drama. Vaughan had been in the woman’s presence just three times and each time it had been a master class on how to wreak the most destruction.
Just three times and that was his impression. Vaughan really couldn’t imagine what it had been like for Kelly to have grown up with a raging inferno of a stage mother who was the most narcissistic human being he’d ever dealt with.
Vaughan blew out a breath. “Understandably, she isn’t prone to showing that sort of extreme emotion.” He pinched his bottom lip as he thought about how to explain it all. “I can’t lie to you, Ez. For years I thought it was a simple case of a bad breakup.” And it had been. He’d delayed things without ever coming out and saying he wanted her to stay. And then he’d told so many pretty lies to himself he didn’t know what was true anymore.
In retrospect, those things brought him shame. He’d been young and selfish and shitty. He’d wanted her to break and tell him she wanted him back. Because he was too weak to say it first.
“I hurt her. Made her sad. Broke her heart. I did those things. But today when she got really angry it was like a big giant buzzer sounded. She peeled all that calm back and showed me stuff I’ve never seen from her. Until she walked away from me, fuming like some gorgeous creature of vengeance, I thought she
