space, the basement was a necessary concession. Its proximity to the locker rooms was a plus; sports injuries were a fact of life in a school that fielded fiercely competitive teams. A direct entrance to the back parking lot also helped when a communicative disease was involved.
Using that back entrance now, Susan passed two students at the nurse’s desk and checked the cubicles. She found Lily on a bed in the third cubicle, looking pathetically young. Her knees were bent. One hand lay over her middle. Her other arm covered her eyes.
‘Sweetie?’
Lily moved the arm and, seeing Susan, immediately teared up. ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered.
One look at her, and Susan’s heart melted. ‘What happened?’
The words came in a breathy rush. ‘I was feeling sick, so I went to my locker for crackers, and Abby was there and she announced, I mean, in a big loud voice, that what did I expect, being pregnant? It was a nightmare, Mom. There were kids everywhere, and they all stopped walking and stared. I wanted to tell them she was wrong, only I couldn’t. I was so upset – I mean, how could Abby do that? I’ve never actually thrown up before, but I did it then, in front of everyone.’
She looked green enough to do it again, but Susan didn’t care. Sitting on the edge of the gurney, she pulled her into her arms. Lily was going through what she personally knew was trial by fire. A good mother didn’t feel anger when her child was in this kind of pain.
Besides, Susan blamed herself as much as Abby. She had been distant and cool when her daughter needed support. Rocking gently, with her chin on Lily’s head, she tried to think.
Just then, the nurse opened the curtain. Amy Sheehan was in her mid-thirties, attractive in sweater and jeans, and softspoken. Eminently approachable, she had been Susan’s first choice for the job, no concessions there. Her voice was gentle now. ‘Lily told me. She said she saw a doctor.’
Susan nodded, but her mind was racing. She had hoped for time. Now what?
Lily looked up. Her eyes were haunted. ‘I had last lunch. I thought if I got something in my stomach, I’d be able to make it till then. I didn’t expect to feel so sick. The books said it would stop after twelve weeks.’
Susan recalled suffering from nausea well past the magical date. ‘What do books know? But it is what it is. Time to go to Plan B.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Beats me.’ She eyed the nurse. ‘Any thoughts?’
Amy was apologetic. ‘You really can’t deny it. Not if Lily’s keeping the baby. It’ll be obvious soon enough.’
She didn’t have to go on. Deny the pregnancy now, and when Lily begins to show, the denial itself will be an issue. Especially for the high school principal.
Lily looked at Susan again. ‘What did you do?’
Susan didn’t have to fill Amy in on her history. Her age and Lily’s, both, were a matter of record. Besides, Susan had laid it out when she hired Amy to head the school clinic. I hid my pregnancy for five months. I risked my own health and my baby’s because I didn’t know where to turn. I want our students to have a place to go when they can’t go to their parents. I don’t want any sexual problems ignored.
In answer to Lily now, she smiled sadly. ‘I was lucky enough not to throw up in public, so I had a little more time. My sport was track. I wore my top loose. But it’s hard to hide things in a locker room. My teammates saw it first. They were my Abby.’
‘Why did she do that?’ Lily cried, but Susan could only shake her head.
‘It’s done. There’s no going back.’ She took the car keys from her pocket. ‘I think you should go home for the day. Let things settle. We’ll have more perspective later.’
What she was hoping, of course, was that Abby’s announcement hadn’t actually been heard. It was pure denial on her part, the mother in her. With her emotions seesawing between present and past, a part of her just wanted to hide.
But she had barely returned to her office when the questions began, first from the teacher whose class Lily had just missed, then from another teacher wanting to report what her students were saying. By the time she reached the lunchroom, the looks she received said that word was spreading fast.
Mary Kate and Jess avoided her – but they generally did at school, and with Susan’s approval. They had discussed the issue of their relationship when Susan was first named principal. Her closeness to these girls was almost as tricky as her being Lily’s mother.
The fact that Mary Kate and Jess were with other friends now – and that none was looking at them strangely – told Susan that Lily was the only one who had been outed. For now. Knowing Mary Kate and Jess as she did, she figured they were stressing about that.
Abby never made it to lunch, which wasn’t unusual. A student whose schedule was tight often wolfed something down while running between classes. Not that Susan would have been able to talk with her here. What could she have said without making things worse? How could you do that to a good friend – and knowing about this all along – and trying to get pregnant yourself?
She couldn’t possibly be objective, not with her heart bleeding for her daughter. Lily would be on display, all alone, when she returned to school tomorrow. Susan could only imagine who else would know by then.
It was a long day. Only a few other direct questions came, which made Susan nervous. She knew her staff; news like this would fly through the faculty lounge. Friends might be keeping their distance from Susan out of understanding or perhaps respect, but others – her detractors – would be gloating.
She met with two teachers after school. Both, new hires, were in her office for evaluation conferences. Neither mentioned Lily – but, of course, they were more worried about their jobs than about Susan’s pregnant daughter. After the teachers came a pair of parent meetings, one about a drug problem, the other about an alleged plagiarism. They, too, had greater worries.
It did put things in perspective, Susan thought, but by the time she got home, she was discouraged. She wanted to protect her daughter but couldn’t, and though she knew that the girl had brought this on herself, her own heart broke.
Lily had been studying, as evidenced by the scatter of books on her bed, but she was sleeping now. Letting her be, Susan went to the den and turned on the TV. She had to wait through stories on the economy, a celebrity murder and a report on global warming before Rick appeared.
He was covering post-cholera Zimbabwe, in as sobering a report as Susan had heard. Poverty, homelessness, hunger – more perspective here. Lily wasn’t poor, homeless or hungry. But that didn’t mean they weren’t in crisis.
Remote in hand, she waited until he was into his signoff before freezing his image on the screen. Then she tossed the remote aside, picked up the cordless, and, with her eyes on his handsome, sunburned face, punched in his number. There was one ring, then another of a slightly different tone as the call was transferred. After five more rings, he picked up.
‘Lily?’ he asked with endearing hope, his rich voice remarkably clear given how far away he was.
‘It’s me. That was an amazing piece you just did.’
‘Sad
