perfect images. This effect is achieved by insanely slow work on the text. Thoughtful work on the text, or simply put – effective. All this talk about perception… Someone needs to sell books and earn money – that’s why they care about easier perception of the text, easier its assimilation. This is the logic of the merchant’s thinking. This is an attempt to compare a work of art with chebureks. One day, I accusingly asked the question: “what is Your work, fly like pies?“Yes, I’m glad they don’t fly away like pies. The concept of “consumer goods” – means consumer goods. That is – easy, uncomplicated, based on real events. The real, pure artistic image can be so heavy that only a few people can understand it or perceive it. Yes, and who sees this very reality?! It was not a question, as we understood, I just don’t know how to put it. When I hear through the wall, as a mother endlessly pestering her forty-year-old son, as she is afraid to let him go, as she sets fire to the carpet to create as many problems and attract the attention of others – this is what the real reality looks like. When a confused girl runs through the streets, trying to call the guy: “where are You?! I’m sick!” – this is what the real reality looks like. When a lonely old woman waits serenely for her end, pushing away all who approach her – this is what reality looks like. It’s impossible to breathe for long. It is impossible to look at it long. It is absolutely impossible to enjoy it. Another thing is to find humor in it. But, that in reality can be funny, it is difficult even to imagine. It’s funny when people start to get nervous, fuss, collide. Funny, when they cling to each other, not in forces already to disperse. It’s funny, when scandals without trying to kill someone/something. As soon as someone/something in your hands is a knife, immediately becomes ridiculous. It’s funny when the cat falls off the ledge, clinging to the curtain. It’s funny when a person suddenly realizes that
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did a stupid thing. I don’t know how people live in big cities. It’s a stress zone for me. I’m in the province/it is not feeling too good – what can I say about the metropolis. But it’s good to live there when you see the perspective. When you have something to strive for. Not so long ago I experienced such a deep depression that it seems as if I came back from the other world. And did he? Constant fear that that that that descend uncontrolled. But, as if by magic, he became less ferocious than before. Previously I did not notice its ferocity. I thought it was all right. But he wasn’t. There’s a young fellow hanging himself in our yard. Brought, probably. I remember he looked at people with such contempt, just before his suicide. What is it, in fact. Only twenty-five years old. Why, the samurai doing harakiri? I think that in this way, they commit an act of self-sacrifice – an absolute Agape. Like what Jesus did if he hadn’t been crucified and he’d cut his own belly open. After this you start to think that it’s not so bad to be selfish. Apparently, some measure must be observed. No wonder Buddha chose the middle way. Although, the oldest, the coolest Buddhist traditions involve the act of absolute self-sacrifice. Public self-immolation. I used to practice this, but in a harmless way. So, to really burn yourself, even in front of the public, you need to be really unusual person – brave, indifferent, persistent. I would never have had the courage to do that. But this is absolutely not in comparison with the yogis, who are buried in the ground, then, to appear from there, newly born into the world. Now look at these boys and girls and all these old ladies and Housewives doing yoga in their free time. Well, they, of course, take only a physical element from yoga. They’re not too worried all the way. Yeah, maybe it’s not necessary. So far – it is far not to everyone under force. Most striking in this sense are the Buddhists, who go into eternal seclusion. It may be cool… but it is, in fact, a buried existence. My neighbor was like this – she lived in seclusion for decades, hating people with all her heart. But then, its [any/the relatives. She was so happy to be taken away that she staged a whole night performance with screams and dances with a stool in her hands. When it appears in public, it looks like a hunted animal. It is, in/fact, this is – harried, terrified, dead. Seclusion involves a series of depressions, experiencing each of which, you gradually turn into a walking corpse. It is better to just live to old age and wither like a faded plant. In a sense, a writer is a living corpse. All he does is sit at the computer and talk. The rest of the time trying to live. I’d like to tell you how the dead are raised, but I can’t find the words yet. The dead, I mean – people vital passive, unable to take the initiative, or even – mobility. However, where it, in fact, to show?… “Shia…” hisses death behind his back. “Shia…” – the sepulchral decay. The ancient Egyptians afterlife had a much greater value than all the rest. I can never understand how anyone could seriously believe that the stuff that was collected in the tombs could be useful in the afterlife. All the women came up with. However, who knows what is there in the afterlife. Carl Jung argued that after death, life does not end. But what he specifically understood remains a mystery. Freud, of course, he brought his conclusions, almost to a heart attack. God, I love that girl! This restless, ever-warring with me the sly Fox. This piscicida, beauty, fidget. I’ve never had a problem with a woman. Not now. I always say: “don’t like me – go away, you poor fool!“Tasha is not taken into account – there was another. There were a lot of broken dishes, a lot of tantrums and a complete lack of control over feelings. Too goes against the normal nature of love. And the rest as/, everything always happens, either to one side or the other. That say… Love for the most part for Mature people. Mentally strong. Teenagers die from love, not able to cope with the magnitude of sensations. Adults – on figs. Did not work with one, work with another – almost everywhere the same. Except, maybe, when you start counting and calculating the cost. After all, we are consumers. And means, and love have us consumer – not otherwise. In consumer love thugs succeed. They just come and take what they think is rightfully theirs. Even if it really isn’t. The bandits decide that so and what is wrong. No one wants to contradict them. Women, by the way, like criminals. But at some point they realize where it might lead. Fortunately, if she in time managed to escape. And then a long time to hide until you forget. Some are found. Then, their remains are found in the forest. How many Chikatilo cut? Ah, sorry, many years have passed is the whole of Russia known maniac/killer, who was given a life. It looks intelligent guy. But, thinking women to rape and murder. Probably someone/something it really hurt at the time. But here, who really can not be compared with anyone, so it’s don Pablo Escobar, who really wanted to become President of Colombia. Fucking criminal, smuggler, drug dealer, terrorist, wanted to be President! When you vote, you are a good test candidates. And best of all, then leave this matter and let them handle it. However, in the middle ages almost it was. John the terrible – how do you like this example? Stalin, Lenin, Hitler – well, this is the twentieth. Shit, almost nothing’s changed. It seems that it is impossible – it is impossible to do anything about it! The army must be strong, the police must be righteous. And most need to be clean on the hand of man. Then maybe… maybe… But we don’t know yet. How can you be dishonest, when yours suddenly is the state Treasury, extensive areas with deposits of natural resources, army. Here Willy-nilly become half a criminal. Only half – in TV because you have to look like a decent man. You saw the recording of Vladimir Pozner’s program in the ninety-fifth, in my opinion, the program was called “We” when Boris Nikolayevich, the assistant to the President, was invited to the Studio. In General, as Yeltsin made his way to power – they are all his bandit herd, literally took the reins of the Soviet secretaries General, or whatever they were called. And it went, went, swirled, spun, until the terrorists took the Chechen and Dagestan territories. Here, then still young Putin sent to resolve an issue with fighters. And when he organized completely demoralized army, and already started driving terrorists towards the desert, after that he was offered a post of the President. No – he saved the country, of course, then from the hands of criminals. But on the other hand, now he drives her to a standstill, reinforcing the business/structure and, cooperating with leading Russian businessmen. Profitability of the person, the population, again somewhere is lost. Again, money, money, money, all just money. And people have nowhere to live. Apartments are unthinkable. Are empty. The shops are full of poison. Now, to eat normally,
