to me, strained the pectoral muscles. «Something strange – I thought – or I sleep, or I dream…» Hardly I managed to open eyes. Darkness. In ears vague noise. I closed eyes again… You know that when the person dies, bodies of his feelings die away not at the same time. At first the person loses sense of taste, his sight, then hearing dies away then. Apparently, upside-down there was also their restoration. After a while I raised the eyelids again and saw muddy light. As though I fell to water by very deep water. Then the greenish haze began to disperse, and I vaguely distinguished before myself the person Kerna and at the same time uslykhat already quite distinctly his voice: «Recovered? I am very glad you to see again live». By effort of will I forced my consciousness to clear up rather. I looked down and saw directly under a chin a table – at that time this little table was not yet, and there was a simple table, like kitchen, hastily adapted by Kern for experience. Wanted to look back, but could not turn the head. Near this table, is higher than it, the second table – prozektorskiya was located. On this table someone’s beheaded corpse lay. I looked at it, and the corpse seemed to me strange familiar in spite of the fact that it had no head and his thorax was opened. Right there nearby in a glass box someone’s human heart fought… I bewildered looked at Kern. I still could not understand in any way why my head towers over a table and why I do not see the body. Wanted to give a hand, but did not feel it. «What is the matter?.» – I wanted to ask Kern and only silently moved lips. And he looked at me and smiled. «You do not learn? – he asked me, having nodded towards a prozektorsky table. – This your body. Now you forever got rid of asthma». He still could joke!. And I understood everything. I confess, the first minute I wanted to shout, break from a little table, to kill myself and Kern… No, absolutely not so. I knew mind that I had to become angry, shout, be indignant, and at the same time was struck with ice tranquility which owned me. Perhaps, I was also indignant, but somehow looking at myself and at the world from outside. In my mentality there were shifts. I only frowned and… was silent. Whether I could worry as worried earlier if now my heart fought in a glass vessel, and the motor was new heart?
Laurent with horror looked at the head.
– And after that… after that you continue to work with it. If not it, you would win against asthma and were a healthy person now… He is a thief and the murderer, and you help it to rise on glory top. You work for him. He as the parasite, eats your brain activity, it made some accumulator of creative thought of your head and earns on it money and glory. And you!. What does it give you? What your life?. You are deprived of everything. You an unfortunate stump in which, on your grief, still there live desires. The whole world stole from you the Core. Forgive me, but I do not understand you. And really you obediently, resignedly work for him?
The head smiled a sad smile.
– Head revolt? It is effective. What could I make? I am deprived even the last human opportunity: to commit suicide.
– But you could refuse to work with it!
– If you want, I passed through it. But my revolt was not caused by the fact that the Core uses my cogitative device. Eventually, what the name of the author matters? It is important that the idea was included into the world and made the business. I revolted only because it was heavy to me to get used to my new existence. I preferred life death… I will tell you one case which happened to me at that time. Somehow I was in laboratory one. Suddenly in a window the big black bug flew. From where it could appear in the center of the enormous city? I do not know. Perhaps, it was delivered by the car which is coming back from a country trip. The bug turned round and round over me and sat down on a glass board of my little table, near me. I mowed an eye and watched this disgusting insect, without having an opportunity to dump it. Pads of a bug slid on glass, and he, rustling with joints, slowly approached my head. I do not know whether you will understand me… I felt always some special fastidiousness, feeling of disgust for such insects. I could never force to touch them a finger. And here I was powerless even before this insignificant enemy. And for it my head was only a convenient springboard for take-off. And it continued to come nearer slowly, rustling with legs. After some efforts it managed to be hooked for beard hair. He long floundered, having got confused in hair, but persistently rose above and above. So it crept on the compressed lips, on the left side of a nose, through the covered left eye until at last, having reached a forehead, fell to glass, and from there to a floor. Empty case. But it made a tremendous impression on me… And when professor Kern came, I refused flatly to continue with him scientific works. I knew that it will not decide to show my head publicly. Without advantage will not begin to hold at itself the head which can be a proof against it. And it will kill me. Such is there was my calculation. Between us fight was started. He resorted to quite cruel measures. Once late at night he entered to me with the electric device, put electrodes to my temples and, without starting up current yet, addressed with the speech. He stood, having crossed hands on a breast, and spoke very tender, soft tone as the real inquisitor. «Dear colleague – began he. – We here one, confidentially, behind thick stone walls. However, if they were more thinly, it does not change business as you cannot shout. You quite within my power. I can cause you the most awful tortures and I will remain unpunished. But why tortures? We are both scientists and we can understand each other. I know, hardly is to you, but in it not my fault. You are necessary to me, and I cannot exempt you from burdensome life, and you are not able to run away from me even to a non-existence. Whether to us business by the world so is better to finish? You will continue our scientific occupations…» I negatively moved eyebrows, and my lips were silently whispered: «Is not present!» – «You very much upset me. Would you like a cigarette? I know that you cannot feel full satisfaction as you have no lungs through which nicotine could be soaked up in blood, but nevertheless familiar feelings…» And he, having taken out two cigarettes from a cigarette case, lit one itself, and inserted another to me into a mouth. With what pleasure I spat out this cigarette! «Well, the colleague – he told by the same polite, unperturbable voice – you force me he let to resort to corrective actions…» And electric current. As though the heated drill penetrated my brain … «How do you feel? – carefully he asked me, precisely the patient’s doctor. – The head hurts? Perhaps, you want to cure it? For this purpose it need to you…» – «Is not present!» – answered my lips. «Very much, it is a pity. It is necessary to strengthen current a little. You very much upset me». And it started up such strong current that it seemed to me, my head ignites. Pain was intolerable. I gritted the teeth. My consciousness was stirred up. As I wanted to lose it! But, unfortunately, did not lose. I only closed eyes and squeezed lips. Kern smoked, starting up me smoke in a face, and continued to roast my head on slow fire. He did not convince me any more. And when I slightly opened an eye, saw that it is enraged by my persistence. «Oh, damn! If your brains were not so necessary to me, I would fry them and today would feed with them the pinscher. Faugh, pighead!» And it inconsiderately broke all wires from my head and was removed. However to me still early was to rejoice. It returned soon and began to let in the solutions feeding my head, the irritating substances which caused in me the most severe painful pains. And when I involuntarily screwed up the face, he asked me: «As, the colleague, you solve? Still not?» I was unshakable. It left even more enraged, showering with me with one thousand damnations. I triumphed a victory. Several days Kern did not appear in laboratory, and any day I expected the deliverer death. For the fifth day it came indifferently, cheerfully whistling a song. Without looking at me, it began to continue work. Day two or three I observed behind it, without taking in it part. But work could not but interest me. And when it, conducting experiments, made several mistakes which could ruin results of all our efforts, I did not restrain and made to it a sign. «Long ago so!» – he spoke with a pleased smile and started up air through my throat. I explained him mistakes and since then I continue to direct work… He outwitted me.
VICTIMS OF THE BIG CITY
Since
