EPILOGUE
‘AH, BETH, JUST the person. I’ve got a favour to ask you.’
Her heart sank. Again?
‘How did I know that was coming, right at the end of my shift?’
She turned towards James with a wry smile and then everything ground to a halt, because the man standing beside the ED’s clinical lead was painfully, gut-wrenchingly familiar.
His strangely piercing ice blue eyes locked on hers, his mouth opening as if to speak, but James was still talking, oblivious to the tension running between them.
‘Beth, this is Ryan McKenna, our new locum consultant. Ryan, this is—’
‘Hello, Beth.’
Her name was a gentle murmur, his eyes softening as he took a step forward and gathered her up against his chest in a hug so warm, so welcome that it brought tears to her eyes.
‘Oh, Ry—’
He let her go long before she was ready, stared down into her eyes and feathered a kiss on her cheek.
‘OK. So I’m guessing you two know each other already, or this is love at first sight,’ James said drily, and Ryan laughed a little off kilter, taking a step back and giving her some much-needed space to drag herself together.
‘Yeah, we know each other,’ Ryan said, his voice oddly gruff. ‘We—er—we worked together, before I went abroad. Best scrub nurse I’ve ever had the privilege of working with.’
There was a whole world left unsaid, but James just nodded, still unaware of the turmoil going on under his nose.
‘Well, it’s good to know you got on—we rely on teamwork. Beth, I was going to ask you if you could be a star and give Ryan the once-over of the department and then take him for a coffee? They really need me in Resus, and I’m sure you’d like to catch up?’
‘What, now?’ she asked, feeling a flicker of something that could have been panic.
‘If you can spare the time. I’d be really grateful and they do need me.’
She met Ryan’s eyes, one eyebrow raised a fraction. ‘Are you OK with this?’ he murmured.
As if James had left her with a choice…
‘It’s fine, Ry. I don’t have to be anywhere,’ she said quietly, surrendering to the inevitable, and she turned back to James. ‘Go. You’re right, they could really use you. Sam’s tearing his hair out and Livvy’s rushed off her feet. We’ll be fine.’
He nodded, his face relieved. ‘Thanks, Beth. You’re a star. And while you’re at it, if you could convince him to apply for the permanent post, you’ll have my undying gratitude.’
Her heart thudded, the flicker threatening to turn into a full-on panic attack.
‘I thought the application window was closed?’
‘It’s been extended. So—if you could twist his arm?’
He was smiling, but his meaning was clear, and they were desperate for another consultant, but simply seeing Ryan again had sent her emotions into freefall and her hard-won status quo felt suddenly threatened. A locum post was one thing, but she didn’t know if she could cope with him here on a permanent basis, not when she was finally putting her life and her heart back together after the last two agonising years.
Not that it, or she, would ever be the same again…
Anyway, it wasn’t relevant, because he was committed to Medicine For All, the aid organisation he’d been working with for the past two years, and she knew how strongly he felt about that. He’d walked away from Katie because she didn’t understand, so there was no way he’d be looking for a permanent job and he obviously hadn’t been clear enough with James.
‘Leave it with me,’ she said, which wasn’t a yes but it was the best she could do, because she was oddly torn between wanting to run away and wanting to talk to him, to find out how he was.
Because something had changed him, she could see that at a glance. He was thinner, his face slightly drawn, shadows lurking in the back of his eyes. The same shadows that lurked in hers after all that had happened between them? Or other shadows, from the things he’d seen in those two years? Both, probably.
‘Sure?’ James asked, maybe finally picking up on the tension running between them, and she nodded.
‘I’m sure. Go. Leave it to me.’
‘Thank you. I know you’ll do your best. I’ll see you on Monday, Ryan. I’m really pleased you’ve agreed to join us.’
‘So am I. I’ll look forward to working with you.’
They shook hands and she watched James go, then Ryan turned back to her with a wry smile that touched her heart.
‘Forget the guided tour. Is there somewhere quiet we can go and get a coffee?’
She felt a wave of relief and nodded. ‘Yes. There’s a café that opens onto the park. We can sit outside.’
The café was busy, but they found a little bistro table bathed in April sunshine and tucked out of the way so they could talk without being overheard, and he settled opposite her and met her eyes, his searching.
‘So, how are you?’
Her heart thumped. ‘Oh—you know.’ She tried to smile. ‘Getting there, bit by bit. You?’
That wry, sad smile again, flickering for an instant and then gone. ‘I’m OK.’
She wasn’t sure she believed him, but there was something else…
‘So, how come you’re here, in Yoxburgh? Is that deliberate?’ she asked, needing to know if he’d sought her out or just stumbled on her by accident, but he nodded slowly.
‘Yoxburgh? Yes, sort of. I needed a job, there was one here, and I know it’s a lovely place. But I didn’t know you were here, if that’s what you’re asking, not until I saw you.’
‘Would you have applied if you’d known?’
He shrugged. ‘Not without talking to you first to see if you were OK with it.’
‘Why? If you needed a job—’
‘There are plenty of jobs.’
‘But
