Craik and I have frequently set apart an evening, generally once a week, to meet with ten, twenty or thirty brethren and sisters, to take tea with them, and to spend the rest of the evening in prayer and meditation over the Scriptures. We began these meetings chiefly on account of having thus an opportunity of seeing more of the saints, as the greatness of the number of those in communion with us makes it impossible to see them as often in their houses, as it might be profitable, or as often as we desire. We commenced these meetings in our own houses, choosing those in particular, of whom we had seen little. After we had had several meetings in our own houses, we were invited by the brethren and sisters, and they have asked others to meet us. Sometimes also we have proposed those for invitation whom we see but seldom. These meetings we have found both for ourselves and others very useful, and they will, no doubt, continue to be a blessing, as long as the Lord shall enable us to precede and follow them with prayer. They are also particularly important as a means of the brethren becoming acquainted with each other, and of uniting their hearts.)
May 13. Today I have had again much reason to mourn over my corrupt nature, particularly on account of want of gratitude for the many temporal mercies by which I am surrounded. I was so sinful as to be dissatisfied on account of the dinner, because I thought it would not agree with me, instead of thanking God for the rich provision, and asking heartily the Lord's blessing upon it, and remembering the many dear children of God who would have been glad of such a meal. I rejoice in the prospect of that day when, in seeing Jesus as He is, I shall be like Him. May 14. Lord's-day. The Lord, instead of chastising me today for the ingratitude and discontent, of yesterday, by leaving me to my own strength in preaching, and bringing temporal want upon me, has given me a good day. I have preached with much assistance and comfort, and the Lord has given me rich temporal supplies: for besides the freewill offerings of 2l. 8s. 10d., a 5l. note was put into my hand for the supply of any want I may have. Thus the Lord melted the heart by love, and made me still more see the baseness of my conduct yesterday. Thanks be to God, the day is coming, when Satan will triumph no more!
May 18. There are now 64 children in the two Orphan-Houses, and two more are expected, which will fill the two houses.
May 28. The narrative of some of the Lord's dealings with me is now near being published, which has led me again most earnestly this day week, and repeatedly since, to ask the Lord that He would be pleased to give me what is wanting of the 1000l., for which sum I have asked Him on behalf of the orphans; for though, in my own mind, the thing is as good as done, so much so, that I have repeatedly been able to thank God, that He will surely give me every shilling of that sum, yet to others this would not be enough. As the whole matter, then, about the Orphan-House had been commenced for the glory of God, that in this way before the world and the church there might be another visible proof, that the Lord delights in answering prayer; and as there was yet a part of the 1000l. wanting; and, as I earnestly desired, the book might not leave the press, before every shilling of that sum had been given, in answer to prayer, without one single individual having been asked by me for any thing, that thus I might have the sweet privilege of bearing my testimony for God in this book:—for these reasons, I say, I have given myself earnestly to prayer about this matter since May 21. On May 22 came in 7l. 10s., and on May 23, 3l. On May 24 a lady, whom I never saw before, called on me and gave me 40l. This circumstance has greatly encouraged me; for the Lord showed me thereby afresh His willingness to continue to send us large sums, and that they can even come from individuals whom we have never seen before. On May 26th 3l. 6s. was sent, from two unexpected quarters. On May 27 was sent anonymously, a parcel of worn clothes from London and a sovereign. Today (May 28) I received again 4l. 3s. 6d.; and also a parcel was sent from a considerable distance, containing seven pairs of socks, and the following trinkets, to be sold for the support of the orphans: 1 gold pin with an Irish pearl, 15 Irish pearls, 2 pine, 2 brooches, 2 lockets, 1 seal, 2 studs, 11 rings, 1 chain, and 1 bracelet, all of gold.
June 15. Today I gave myself once more earnestly to prayer respecting the remainder of the 1000l. This evening 5l. was given, so that now the whole sum is made up. To the glory of the Lord, whose I am, and whom I serve, I would state again, that every shilling of this money, and all the articles of clothing and furniture, which have been mentioned in the foregoing pages, have been given to me, without one single individual having been asked by me for any thing. The reason why I have refrained altogether from soliciting any one for help is, that the hand of God evidently might be seen in the matter, that thus my fellow-believers might be encouraged more and more to trust in Him, and that also those who know not the Lord, may have a fresh proof that, indeed, it is not a vain thing to pray to God. As the Lord then has con-descended most fully, and even above my expectations, to answer my prayers, arid to Fill my mouth (Psalm lxxxi. 10,) will you help me, brethren and sisters beloved in the Lord, to praise Him for His condescension. It is a wonderful thing that such a worthless, faithless servant as I am, should have power with God. Take courage from this for yourselves, brethren. Surely, if such a one as I am, so little conformed to the mind of Jesus, has his prayers answered, may not you also, at last, have your requests granted to you. During eighteen months and ten days this petition has been brought before God almost daily. From the moment I asked it, till the Lord granted it fully, I had never been allowed to doubt that He would give every shilling of that sum. Often have I praised Him beforehand in the assurance, that he would grant my request. The thing after which we have especially to seek in prayer is, that we believe that we receive, according to Mark xi. 24. "What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." But this I often find lacking in my prayers. Whenever, however, I have been enabled to believe that I receive, the Lord has dealt with me according to my faith. This moment while I am writing (June 28, 1837), I am waiting on the Lord for 17l. 10s., the rent for two school-rooms, which will be due in three days, and I have but 3l. towards that sum. I believe God can give; I believe God is willing to give it, if it be for our real welfare; I also have repeatedly asked God for it; but as yet I cannot in the triumph of faith praise Him beforehand, that He will assuredly give me this small sum. I am waiting at every delivery of letters, at every ring at the bell, for help; I am truly waiting on God, and God alone for it; but as yet I do not feel as sure of being able to pay the rent of those school rooms, as I should, if I had the money already in my pocket.
As the Lord has so greatly condescended to listen to my prayers, and as I consider it one of the particular talents which He has intrusted to me, to exercise faith upon His promises regarding my own temporal wants and those of others; and as an Orphan-House for boys above seven years of age seems greatly needed in this city; and as also, without it, we know not how to provide for the little boys, in the Infant-Orphan-House when they are above seven years of age; I purpose to establish an Orphan-House for about forty boys above seven years of age. But there are three difficulties in the way, which must first be removed, before I could take any further step in this work. 1. My hands are more than filled already through the work arising from the ministry of the Word, the attending to the ordering of church affairs, and the oversight of 370 brethren and sisters. And yet, in addition to this, I have also the work which comes upon me in connexion with the six day-schools, a Sunday-school, an adult-school, the two Orphan-Houses, and the circulation of the Scriptures. (This latter part of the work is more and more increasing; for merely within the last seven months 836 copies of the Scriptures have been circulated). For these reasons, then, I could not in any degree enlarge the field of labour, except the Lord should be pleased to send us a brother, who, as steward, could take from me the work which arises from keeping the accounts, obtaining and circulating the Scriptures, giving advice in ordinary matters respecting the Orphan-Houses, attending to the applications for admission of children in the Orphan-Houses, &c. But whether there is an Orphan-House for boys established or not, such a brother is greatly needed, even as the extent of the work is now, and I therefore lay it on the hearts of the believers who may read this, to help me with their prayers, that such a brother may be found. 2. In addition to this, it would be needful, before I could take any further step, to obtain a truly pious master for the boys, add other suitable individuals who may be needed to take care of the children. 3. The third thing by which I desire to be assured, that it is the will of God that I should go forward in the Orphan-House is, that He provide the means for such an enlargement of the work. Whilst, on the one hand I would confess to the praise of God, that He has been
