deserters to be found, that’s where they would be too: hiding in the forest. Still, Julian had been assigned the unpleasant task of hunting down deserters long enough to know that they usually came out of the forest at night to steal food from farms like this one. Very often they didn’t even have to steal, for here in Swabia the British were the enemy and therefore a British deserter ... well, “whoever harms my enemy is my friend.”
Julian stood up slowly and took a step forward to check on his horse. It was still there, tethered to the fence where the woman had brought it water in a wooden bucket, and an armful of hay. The gesture had touched Julian, but then this was not the first time that kind of thing had happened. On the other hand, the horse was not an enemy and the woman, after all, was a farmer; to feed a working animal was instinctive. He flexed his shoulders a few times before peering at the sky, and then walked stiffly over to the horse. A bit of sun was forcing through the cloud cover now, a welcome sign after three days of steady rain.
The horse was sniffing about for a few remaining wisps of hay, so Julian waited a minute before mounting. He could tell the woman was watching him through a crack in the door of her house and he waved to her in a friendly way. He still hadn’t worked out whether he’d give her a bit of money. His Lordship, from his own very deep pockets — or more likely his father’s — had worked out a system for rewarding people who provided information and, despite the language barrier, the woman had made it clear to Julian that over the past few days, deserters had been coming in from the forest at dusk to spend the night in the loft.
In the end, Julian chose to leave a few coins for her. He put them on the fence where the horse had stood. She had lied to him but what difference did that make? In her own way, she too had to put up with Lord Jackass just as Julian did.
How does Julian Mainbridge know that the woman lied to him?
5. Count to Five, Press the Button and Get Out!
“Lumpy” Pechnik was concentrating so hard he didn’t realize he’d chosen the women’s lingerie department to hide in. Not that realizing it would have made any difference. There was no way he was going to screw this up — it was the easiest 500 bucks he’d ever scored. In fact, except for the time he’d scooped the cash from a gas station where the night attendant had a do-or-die case of the trots, this would be the only time Lumpy had ever held $500 in his hands at once. And it was going to be so easy! All he had to do was press a button!
There were a couple of things that had bothered him, but only for a minute. Lumpy was not given to long periods of reflection. One was that the two suits who approached him this morning — big guys they were too — how come they knew he could get into this big Sears store after hours pretty well whenever he wanted? And how come they knew his real name: Lamont? Nobody on the streets knew that. Why, nobody had called him Lamont since Sister Mary Magdalene had kicked him out of St. Anselm’s. Well, no matter. All Lumpy cared about was that he was going to get big bucks for an easy touch.
What he had to do was keep an eye on the up escalator here on the first floor. When the security guard appeared, he was to count to five slowly — the suits were really emphatic about that part. They made him practice three or four times: “One steamboat, two steamboats...” like that. Then what he had to do was press the red button on this gizmo they’d given him and after that get out of the store. A couple streets over, on Sackville, he was to drop the gizmo down the sewer and then pick up his money at the 7-11: the rest of his money. Lumpy fingered the 50 bucks in his left shirt pocket. The suits were only going to give him 20 as a down payment and they didn’t even want to give him that. Said he’d probably buy some Sneaky Pete wine and buzz out in an alley somewhere, but Lumpy held out for more and they’d sawed off at 50.
From his vantage point in women’s lingerie, Lumpy could eyeball about half the first floor of the big Sears store. Even in the dimmed down, after-hours lighting he could make out just about everything for he had good eyesight. Despite the semi-darkness he was able to read prices a couple aisles away. He could even read the sign over the bottom of the escalator he was watching so carefully: “Women and Men’s Clothing — Sporting Goods.” Stuff like that. Way across the store he could pick out a broken ‘E’ in an exit light. Lumpy was proud of his sharp eyes. A lot of other guys on the street had been blitzed for so long their vision was shot, but not him.
He fingered the 50 bucks again. The security guard — the guy had to be showing up soon — what the suits had told him was that this guard always did his rounds at the same time, but Lumpy already knew that. He was a regular here at Sears. On really cold winter nights when he knew the temperature was going to drop out of sight, he would crawl into the building through an old drainage pipe and hide in a garbage bin in the sub-basement. Security only came to the sub-basement once a night. Up here on the first floor he was in strange territory, but that didn’t threaten him.
What actually did bother him was the silence. Lumpy was used to noise. There was always noise on the street. The soup kitchens were noisy too. Even the sub-basement was noisy with the hum of the big heating units and the subway on the other side of the wall and the loading dock just down the passageway. On the other hand, it was the silence that enabled Lumpy to hear the approach of the guard a few seconds before he saw him. The suits were right about that part.
“The guard comes directly from the jewelry department to the up escalator,” they had said. “They’re not running after closing time, the escalators, so you should be able to hear him walking on it before you see him. The instant you see him on that escalator you count the way we practiced and on ‘five steamboats’ you hit the button and then get out of there!”
Lumpy put a flat, grimy thumb on the red button and the instant he saw an arm in a uniformed sleeve he began the count. On “five steamboats” he pressed down. Seconds later, when the guard disappeared from view, Lumpy slowly backed out of the lingerie department and easily found his way to the sub-basement. Next stop: the sewer over on Sackville and then into the 7-11 for his money. Duck soup. Easiest 500 bucks he’d ever made.
Did Lumpy earn his money?
6. The Case of the Open Safe
Stop me if I told you this already. The news on the TV made me think of it. They always got that TV going in the lounge downstairs but the only thing I ever watch is the news. You happen to see it this morning? About some no-good who says the door to a safe was wide open before he got there? No matter. It was only a couple of seconds on the TV and you likely missed it. See, it was just like the heist at Barney Rawn’s Feed Store some ... some ... gotta be near 25 years ago now, I guess. Maybe 26 even. No matter. It was the year I retired from the force. That robbery, the one at Barney’s I mean, the guy what did it was one of the last no-goods I collared.
Name was ... name was ... Y’know, it’s just awful how I forget names now. I can see the faces, but do you think I can put a name to... Lassiter! That’s the guy’s name! Lassiter! Cleaned out old Barney’s safe and then pretended he was the one discovered the cash was gone! Lotta nerve, eh? Come
