Vitality Imperative is rooted in a single principle: to align leadership practices with human nature. People are not things. They are not mechanical elements in a business process. Every time we forget that, we add time, money, and stress to work. Empathy is fundamental to our nature and yet woefully under emphasized in leadership development.
To be human is to empathize. It is the reason we care about love and war, family and work, collaboration and competition. A great Vitality leader connects to all that, and uses skillful, proactive empathy to quickly and correctly connect with another. How important is that quick and correct ability to comprehend the perspectives of others? As we shall see, it is imperative for any leader who wants greater results.
What Empathy Is Not
Many would consider empathy “soft.” We know a successful hostage team leader who would adamantly disagree.
“‘Soft’? That’s ridiculous,” he says. “If you want to resolve a hostage incident without bloodshed, you better be good at getting in someone else’s skin. When you can think their thoughts and feel what they are feeling, you can anticipate what they’ll do. And when you really ‘get’ what it is going on for them, a lot of the time they start talking and that increases the chances of finding a solution. All negotiators without empathy can do is try to get people in front of a window for a clear shot.”
This goes to show that empathy is not pity, not condescending, and is definitely not “soft.” Leaders lacking in empathy are ill-informed at best and bullies at worst. Without empathy, we resort to manipulation and spin, and squander the chance for real inspiration. The result is often a lot of organizational bloodshed.
Conversely, the tangible benefits of empathy to community, contribution, and choice are:
• Empathy improves relationships and accountability and, in turn, lowers supervision costs.
• Empathy accelerates learning
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