might as well pile it on with everything else.”
“I can imagine. Kicking Richard out after all these years must have been tough. You look like a dish rag.”
She sucks on her cheeks. Uh oh. I should be nicer.
“Nothing a new hairdo or a makeover couldn’t fix.”
“I just got a haircut.’
“Maybe you should try a new stylist.”
“Maybe you should butt out.”
She’s pissed. I lock my lips.
“I have more important stuff to deal with. Darcy dropped out of school and came home.”
“How fabulous!”
“Your granddaughter drops out of college, and you think it’s terrific?”
“Well, if she didn’t like it there, she should quit and do what makes her happy. There’s no point in being miserable. She has other options.”
“Spare me the career counseling and please stay out of it.”
“Okay, but this could be a lot of fun. We’ll be like the Three Musketeers.”
She’s not buying it. But Darcy and I get along really well. She’s just like me. We’ll have a great time, if her mother lets me move in.
“Why can’t you stay where you are, wherever that is?”
“I’ve been living with Alphonse, in his condo. But now his kids want to sell it. You’d think that they would at least let me stay there until I find a place, but they threw me out in the street. Probably already have the “For Sale” sign up. Can you believe it?”
“It is their place.”
She thinks they were right. How can she side with them over her own mother? Simmer down.
“I suppose.”
“What about Marjorie?”
“I haven’t spoken to her in years.”
“Your oldest and best friend?”
“Marjorie showed her true colors when I hooked up with Alphonse. She kept referring to him as ‘your spic,’ so I dropped her. I won’t put up with those racist attitudes.”
“Not like you have so many friends. You could try and reconcile with her.”
“How would you know how many friends I have?”
It’s true. I don’t have many friends, but she doesn’t have to rub it in. Women don’t like me. They’re jealous. And I don’t see the point of having a male friend, unless he’s a friend with benefits.
“Anyway, I’m not calling Marjorie. I heard she married an eighty-three-year-old guy with a lot of medical problems. I can’t live in a hospital ward. That’s way too depressing. So you’re my only option.”
“I have enough on my plate as it is, Mother. Darcy’s not in a good place.”
“That’s where I come in. She listens to me.”
I shouldn’t have gone there. That scares her. She thinks I’ll be a bad influence on Darcy.
“I can help you too, sweetie. Richard’s gone. Fonsie’s gone. We need each other.”
She looks disgusted. It’s getting late. I should move on to the pleading. She won’t be able to say no to that. I put my hands together and kneel down. I can hardly stand it, but I force myself to do it. How dare she make me grovel?
“Pretty please. I’m begging you.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“But I promise I won’t get in your way. And it won’t be for long. Pretty please with sugar on it.”
She’s trying to hang tough, but then she takes a deep breath and looks hard at me. I can see the wheels turning, as she ponders the situation and its possibilities. Finally, she makes her decision.
“Okay, we’ll see how it goes.”
She’s tentative, but I get a strange feeling that she’s into it. That somehow she wants to deal with Darcy and me. I’m certainly curious about where this is going to take us. And I have somewhere to stay. Yippee!
“We’ll have a blast. It will be just like a pajama party. You’ll see.”
She gapes at me.
“You don’t even remember, do you? I never went to any of those.”
That’s right. She never liked pajama parties. Probably too intimate for her. That’s where I learned to french kiss. And I gave my friend Susan a hickey by accident. I never lived that down. Junior High kids can be so cruel.
I really need a smoke; I pull out my ciggies and lighter from my gorgeous new purse.
“Not in the house. If you’re going to stay here, you’ll have to follow the rules. You can only smoke outside, and don’t leave any butts on the walkway or in the bushes, please.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I can deal with it. I kid around and salute her. This totally backfires.
“Don’t you dare mock me in my house. I won’t have it, Mother.”
Guess I shouldn’t have done that. She hates me and everything I do.
“Sorry. We’ve both been through the wringer. I was just trying to lighten things up a little.”
“I don’t have much of a sense of humor at the moment.”
Does she ever?
–THREE–
Darcy
ADVENTURES IN SICKOLAND
My room is filled with freakazoids who stare at me like I’m abnormal. Everyone says college is supposed to be so much fun, but I’m not having any. Mom and Dad are making me stick it out, but they just want me out of their way.
And this room assignment is like some kind of warped experiment. I asked for girls from Miami, New York, or L.A. but the twisted dormitory people stuck me in here. OMG, I am so stupid. My mom must have requested this room. The R.A. is right next door, so she can spy on us.
Jewel’s humming and rubbing her hands with antibacterial stuff. Now she’s covering her nose and mouth with that dumb mask. This girl is psycho-paranoid about germs. She’s like Chinese or Japanese, so I don’t think her name is really Jewel. All of a sudden, she’s in my face.
“You have
