play fair. But the stress-relief techniques that don’t poison your body are more lasting and satisfying than those that do.
Fear: I don’t have the willpower to give up cigarettes
Relying on willpower to quit smoking is both unrealistic and unnecessary for most smokers. We suggest you put more stock in the power of planning, medication, and support from family and friends. Relying on willpower means taking a white-knuckle approach, and this usually results in failure. Being committed to not smoking is about using a variety of strategies to beat your addiction. When you plan your quit, following the approach laid out in Chapter 5, Preparing to Quit, your grit becomes secondary.
Fear: I’m too addicted to quit
Every day, we speak to folks who insist they are the “most addicted smoker ever.” We frequently coach three-pack-a-day smokers and folks who have smoked for more than 50 years. One of our coaches used to smoke six — yes, six! — packs a day and managed to quit. Several of our participants smoked for longer than 60 years and managed to quit. Trust us: Plenty of nonsmokers once smoked as much as you do or for as many decades. Nobody is too addicted to quit.
Fear: The cravings will never go away
“People kept telling me, ‘Once a smoker, always a smoker—you’ll never get rid of those cravings,’ ” says Brandy Adams, 36, who began smoking daily in eighth grade and topped out at 30 to 40 cigarettes a day. “So I’d think, Why even try to quit?” But by her early thirties, Adams, who has asthma, felt she had no choice. Her breathing was so labored that a walk around the block in her town, Bremerton, Washington, felt like a steep uphill climb.
The first two months after she quit, Adams, who did not use medication, thought about cigarettes every day and frequently broke out in cold sweats. “I felt like someone had grabbed onto my heart and started squeezing it, like there was a monster inside of me trying to pull me back.” But after a while she noticed her thoughts about cigarettes were dissipating. “I’d see people smoking in cars or walking down the streets, and I’d say, ‘I can’t believe I ever did that. That’s the most ridiculous-looking thing I’ve ever seen.’ At that point I knew I had it beaten.”
Thoughts about smoking and true cravings are not the same thing. You may hear longtime former smokers say they still “crave” a cigarette now and again, but they’re quick to qualify that they’re not talking about the overwhelming urges they felt those first few weeks. Months or years after quitting they might occasionally think, Gee, it would be nice to have a cigarette right now — I might enjoy that. But they don’t feel like their chest is about to burst. They’re able to move on to the next thought quickly and without discomfort.
Once you quit, your cravings to smoke will gradually fade. Think of it like a difficult breakup: At first you’re obsessed with your ex and can think of little else. Every song you hear, show you watch, even the clothes you wear remind you of what you’ve lost. But a month or two later, you begin to realize you’re standing on your own two feet. Eventually, you think, Why did I waste all those years with that fool? What the heck was I thinking?
Fear: I’ll gain weight
Yes, many smokers gain weight after they quit. That’s because smoking suppresses appetite and boosts metabolism a bit, and because, upon quitting, many folks turn to food to occupy their mouths and keep stress in check. But the typical weight gain averages just five to ten pounds. Only thirteen percent of smokers gain more than twenty pounds when they quit, and sixteen percent actually lose weight, according to a published review of 62 studies.4 These “losers” feel so tremendous after conquering their cigarette addiction that they make additional healthy changes, like taking up exercise and cutting back on junk food.
Faye Reese, who smoked to cope with an unhappy marriage, gained ten pounds in the first two months after giving up cigarettes. “I remember standing in line at JC Penney to buy a pair of pants, feeling kind of down about it, and I said to a woman in line, ‘I just quit smoking, and I’m finding I need to go up a size.’ The woman said, ‘Congratulations on quitting smoking!’ That helped put things in perspective.”
Reese wanted to channel all her energy into conquering her smoking addiction before taking on the challenge of losing weight. So, she made changes in stages. “I knew the weight gain was only temporary, but the effects of smoking would not be. My mother and brother died of cancer. My dad died of a heart attack. My brothers had heart attacks. I felt like a ticking time bomb.”
Six months into her new life as a nonsmoker, Reese took up walking, which accelerated to jogging and marathon running. She began tracking her eating habits with an online weight-loss tool, reducing her portions, and snacking on carrots, fruit, and almonds rather than chips and crackers. She lost fat and gained muscle. “I have some pretty nice-looking calves, and I’m proud of that,” says Reese. “I’m not as concerned about the number on the scale as I am about living a healthy lifestyle.”
Fear: The stress of quitting is going to trigger an illness
We’ve heard the stories: “My uncle got lung cancer three months after he quit.” Or, “My mom quit smoking and seven years later she died of a heart attack. I don’t want that to happen to me if I quit.”
Simply put, quitting smoking does not cause illness. Smoking does. Many conditions begin long before they are diagnosed. Any smoking-related disease you may develop after you quit almost certainly would have struck sooner and/or would have been more serious had you not stopped smoking. The longer you put off quitting, the more likely you are to suffer smoking-related health problems such as heart disease and cancer. Research shows that if you quit by age 30, you’ve lost virtually nothing, whereas waiting until age 60 to quit, does cost you years of life. But even smokers who quit at 60 get back four years they’d otherwise have sacrificed. The bottom line: Quitting smoking adds years and quality of life, and continuing to smoke takes years away and decreases the quality of those years. Smoking is a gamble with the odds stacked against your health. The safe bet is to quit sooner rather than later.
Fear: I’ll feel lost without my “best friend”
At 26, Lisa Koenigsburg-Roshon was working in the music industry and enjoying the New York City single life. Any time, day or night, she could call a friend and say, “I’m having a hard day. Let’s walk down to the Village and go window-shopping.” Then her dad was diagnosed with a fatal blood disease. Koenigsburg-Roshon, who’d already lost her mother, also a smoker, to a massive heart attack, suddenly found herself as her father’s full-time caregiver — in Phoenix, Arizona. “I was by myself in a town I couldn’t stand and where I knew nobody, I didn’t drive, and my dad was terminal,” says Koenigsburg-Roshon. “Cigarettes were my comfort, my friend.”
Do you feel a similar fondness for your cigarettes? Do you ever think: A cigarette doesn’t judge me. It doesn’t talk back. It’s always there for me.
If so, let’s consider the flip side of this rationale. Picture your ideal friend. Would you allow this friend to spend your money, damage your body, make you a social outcast, eat up your valuable time, control you all day long, make your house and car smell, or cause strife in your family? We hope not! No doubt you are in a relationship with cigarettes, but it’s an abusive one.
After her father died, it took Koenigsburg-Roshon more than a decade to come to this conclusion. She was 38 when her daughter, then in kindergarten, said, “Mommy, are you going to die from smoking?” Reminded of her mother’s smoking-related death, Koenigsburg-Roshon decided she did not want to repeat history. When she quit, her mantra became, “Cigarettes aren’t my friend; they are my enemy.” When she’d exit a store and see smokers
