my truck bouncing along,’ thought John De Maria in the grips of a growing euphoria, ‘I am the needle of a sewing machine, the thread of the surgeon suturing a wound, the metallic zipper that simultaneously secures their separation and their coitus (John De Maria has a PhD in philosophy from a good American university in the Midwest), and I weave between these two missives to assure the impermeability of two worlds. I am the watershed. Or else, the opposite,’ he continues in his increasing delirium, ‘I am the razor’s edge that will at last allow them to unite the two edges of the horizon into one immense field destined, in a few months, for an abundant harvest.’
“Inspiration came bit by bit to this young man, besotted with poetry, occasional weed smoker, henceforth restricted to working in the postal service. Two months earlier, during one of his university courses, he had invoked the names of writers banned from the curriculum. Some of his students had been offended by it: formal complaints to the administration, a warning from the Director of Studies, repeat offense, great rage, insults, lay off.
“‘These fields situated on both sides of the road,’ continues John De Maria, ‘are wings. My cockpit, a cabin. And I am Hermes, the messenger of the gods transporting news destined for unlucky mortals. Or else, Daedalus or his son Icarus escaping on their wings from the labyrinth of Crete.’ The inspired postman drives faster and faster. He believes that he will soon take off, escape gravity, finally fly. However, left and right, the countryside appears immobile: still the same snow-filled furrows. The monotonous black and white stripes are disproportionate quills canceling out his speed.
“Accelerating even faster, he thinks of all those parcels of existence he’s transporting, of the immense wings and their imperceptible flapping, of an egg swollen with thousands of hopes. John De Maria thinks of a divine surprise falling from the sky, of palpitating antennae awaiting a favorable response, of a fulfillment, of a return of fortune or simply recent news. Then, the opposite, he senses behind him in the truck just as much anonymous coldness, disembodied words, routine sentimentalities, notices, bailiff threats, reports from the litigation department, requests for administrative information, complaints, dubious contracts, death announcements, last wills and testaments, various scams, final notices, stiff and moralizing prose, thinly veiled threats, bad checks, marketing leaflets, tempting propositions, administrative forms, a swarm of black ravens obscuring the sky, throwing their large shadows over the earth and its fields, all that in his command, he the white and blue messenger, the lugubrious bird of misfortune. The haruspex of antiquity would begin his ritual by cutting out an imaginary frame in the sky with a staff, thus delineating a space where the birds of destiny would appear. If they came from the right, it was good luck; from the left, ominous. The postal service Januses salute you. Two ticket counters, two telephone numbers for singing telegrams: heartrending melodies, lugubrious requiems, lessons of darkness, church organ, tearful voices, or else “Ode to Joy,” “Spring” by Vivaldi, or else “Singin’ in the Rain,” “Been Down So Long It looks Like Up to Me,” Offenbach, “La Vie Parisienne,” a French Cancan song, some salsa or bossa nova (John has a fondness for exotic music genres). A vast array of choices, unlimited repertoire, all types of music, a horde of specialized performers in the full spectrum of human emotions. We listen to them, entertained, standing in a doorway or behind a window, seated in a comfortable rocking chair or sipping whiskey, lying on a soft bed, we think we’re in a variety show or a play, or listening to a beautiful actress fallen from the screen cooing her divine melody for you alone, in the intimacy of your ear, or else a grieving baritone and his funereal aria coils through your right eardrum. Perhaps I should paint black the left half of my truck, that bird of misfortune that too often sows sorrow and consternation …
“Soon, these turbulent images take hold of his feverish spirit and he thrusts the accelerator to the floor unknowingly and sees too late the lorry turning around the bend. At the precise moment when John De Maria decides, smiling, to ask to be transferred to the singing telegrams service, the mail truck violently collides with the enormous lorry. John De Maria is killed instantly, the gas tank of the lorry explodes, a few thousand letters go up in flames.
“Firemen and policemen find a few on the side of the road, where the violence of the collision threw them out of burstopen bags, half burnt. Four of these letters concern orders of agricultural material; another contains the congratulations of a hundred-year-old grandmother to her granddaughter who has just had a baby, as well as the recipe for cherry clafoutis. In a sixth, a worried father writes to his son studying in New York to urge him to work relentlessly (‘You’ll see, my son, in a few years you’ll thank me for pushing you you to practice law; you’ll have a family, you’ll provide for your loved ones, who will appreciate you, you’ll understand that money is only worth the freedoms it provides for you,’ etc.).
“The seventh and second to last letter, written in French, is addressed to a certain Doris Night, but it begins rather curiously with:
My dear David,
I hope that you will not deem my request improper or bizarre. After much reflection I would like to ask you for a slight modification to the American version of my novel (N.d.T.). I know that you are a talented translator, intelligent, full of resources. Others have told me, I have observed it myself. Paris, which serves as the predictable framework for my novel for the French public, does not feel suitable for American readers. Thus, in order to “geographically” update my text, I ask that you replace the City of Light with your Big Apple, or rather with your cruel hedgehog studded with shiny needles. It will be a minimal adaptation, which I’m sure you will carry out with great panache. All you have to do is change the street names while taking into account the distances traveled by my characters, modify a few descriptions of urban environments, Americanize PMU, CGT, UMP, Monoprix, and other names of supermarkets, politicians, celebrities, etc., adapt recipes and restaurant menus, the jargon of taxi drivers, and other minor details (for example, I know there are no “concierges” in your country. You’re on your own there).You are, I believe, up to the task. Pay attention also to the metro map, car brands, important historical events of the recent or distant past. You must also, I almost forgot, find equivalents for French newspapers, in their respective styles (do you have an equivalent of Le Canard Enchaîné in New York?). I remain of course entirely at your disposal. The next time you’re in Paris, come have a drink at my place.
My secretary Doris says hello.
Yours,
Abel Prote
P.S. Most importantly, do not add a single word to my text. In your work as a translator, the strictest rigor is essential: remain invisible, silent, irreproachable. Not a single “in English in the original,” or “untranslatable play on words” (followed by cumbersome explanations), “quotation by Flaubert/Proust/Stendhal, etc.” No, all those additions are the work of pedantic prigs.
“The final envelope saved from the blaze and found by the policemen at the scene of the accident bears the name David Grey. It contains a love letter, addressed to a certain Doris. Here is the beginning, written in French, in the same cramped calligraphy as the previous missive:
My beloved Doris, my love, my pink jewel set in black, I cannot wait to see you again! Your transatlantic back-and-forths weigh heavily on me. I long for your slender feet with the pearly white nails, for your thin ankles whose curves inflame me, for your shapely legs that …
“The author of this fastidious letter, whose predictable name we discover four pages later, enumerates in detail the various parts of the rather charming anatomy of Doris, his personal secretary. Prote seems to be familiar with the first sequence of Godard’s Contempt, with the pulpy woodcock and the man with the long curly sideburns, or else he is simply interested in the ancient literary genre ‘blason,’ in which one describes with a fair amount of minutiae the various parts of the beloved’s body, like so many isolated,
