on each of these images, with your eyes closed. Studies show that when you close your eyes, it’s much easier for your mind to create its imagery work. This approach will help you to successfully bypass the critical filter and see these associations taking root in your life.
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Your goal is to be so clear about where you’re heading that you can get past any obstacles that might block you from moving forward.
Working with Your Imagination and Brain
We all carry emotions that we’re not aware of.
Someone might touch us on the shoulder the way someone touched us when we were sad, and all of a sudden we experience sadness. It has nothing to do with what we’re doing; it’s just an outside connection that was developed at one time.
Someone may look at us the way another person looked at us when we were feeling bad and – boom – we feel bad.
It’s extremely important to be focused and know where you want to go in order not to be derailed by these obstacles.
When you’re asleep at night, your critical filter relaxes. That’s why you can dream about doing things that don’t make logical sense. There’s no filter saying, “That doesn’t make any sense.” By the same token, when you’re awake, closing your eyes is a way you can tap in to that benefit and put the filter to sleep. It will strengthen your ability to imagine and heighten your ability to access your emotions.
If your goal is to wake up calm in the morning, then, before bedtime, spend thirty to sixty seconds imagining yourself getting up and being calm. Really juice your senses. See it as real, with color, sound, feeling, and smell. After thirty to sixty seconds of doing this, move on to your next picture until you have completed all ten.
At first, you may not see or feel things too clearly. With time, it will get better. This is how you start to take control of your imagination and your brain, and move in the direction you want to move.
As you proceed through the program, you’re going to develop the skill and take control of the imagination part of your brain so you can access all the amazing feelings you already have within yourself on a day-to-day basis.
In my clinical work, when I initially ask people to do this, 99.9% formulate their intentions this way: I do x and I don’t feel anxious.
That doesn’t work. That’s the equivalent of getting into the taxi and saying, “Don’t take me here; don’t take me there.” This isn’t language the brain can understand. You’re not telling the brain where you want to go. It’s like giving your brain the instruction, “Don’t think of the color blue.” We all know that will make us think of the color blue. We can’t “not” think of something. What the brain interprets this to mean is to think of the color blue with an X over it.
That’s not what you want. You don’t want to feel anxious with an X sign over to it; you want to be calm and not anxious at all. So when you do this exercise, go over your list again. Be clear that you’re saying where you do want to go, not where you don’t want to go.
The brain is literal. It doesn’t reinterpret. It doesn’t change “I don’t want to” into an understanding of what you do want. Clear and direct instructions are a language that your brain does understand.
I find that almost everyone can tell me what they don’t want. It’s not surprising for people to have been in therapy for years and still not know what they want; they simply have never thought about it.
It’s important for you to know that you’re never going to get beyond your limitations in that way. When people struggle to come up with an answer as to what the life of their dreams would look like, I say, “That’s why you don’t have it yet. You can’t have something if you don’t know what it looks like.” It’s as if they’re standing in the street crying. I ask, “Why are you crying?” And they say, “Because I didn’t get there yet.” And I say, “Where?” And they say, “I don’t know.”
The Law of Attraction
In simple terms the Law of Attraction means you get what you think about, what you focus on, what you talk about, and what you believe. The question is: Is your balance of thought, communication, and belief more on the side of what you want or the side of what you don’t want in your life?
Most people can articulate vividly and emotionally and in great detail all of the things that aren’t going right in their lives. They are completely clear about who caused it and why they are so miserable and constantly tell anyone who will listen all about it. Do you know someone like this…perhaps you? Is it any wonder that they…or you…would continue to attract the same problems and situations over and over again?
Where your attention goes, energy flows!
What shows up in your life has less to do with where you were born, how you were raised, or what you look like than with what you focus on. Such factors do play a part in your expectations, but at any point along the way you can change your focus and stop using your past, your looks, and who you know as your excuse to not be living the life you really want for yourself.
If you want something to change, you have to change something!
KEY 2
RECOGNIZE WHAT’S IN YOUR CONTROL
CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONAL WORLD
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can change;and the wisdom to know the difference.
– Serenity Prayer
It is critical for you to recognize that you can’t control everything. However, you do have control over what you need in order to create the life of your dreams.
When you focus on the part of life that is out of your control and try to change it and fail, then you feel like your life is out of your control. The emotions that stem from the feeling of being unable to control your experience and help yourself are anxiety, frustration, and depression.
On the other hand, when you focus on what you can control, you feel strong and empowered to move forward and attain your life’s goals, aspirations, and dreams.
Here’s an analogy to help you understand this better. Why do most people feel in control when they drive a car? Because they’re focusing on the steering wheel, which is the part of the driving experience they
