As we’ll see, each of the four windows of knowing has a special resonance with one of the four facets of the Self. The four natural pairings are North and thinking, South and feeling, East and sensing, and West and imagining. By cultivating our relationship with all four facets of the Self, we are in this way also cultivating our capacity to use all four windows of knowing, which in turn enhances our ability to fully know the world in all its facets. The most accomplished scientists, artists, musicians, and journalists, for example, are those who are adept at feeling and imagining as well as thinking and sensing.
Of the four windows of knowing, it is thinking that’s most closely partnered with the North facet of the Self, because the Nurturing Generative Adult depends on keen insight and clear planning in order to provide effective care and leadership. However, the specific mode of thinking that characterizes the North facet of the Self is heart-centered thinking, not the merely logical, analytical, deductive mode of thinking more common in the contemporary Western world. Heart-centered thinking is independent, creative, moral, and compassionate. It is “critical” in the sense that it reflectively questions assumptions, discerns hidden values, and considers the larger social and ecological context. Entirely distinct from the rote memorization commonly stressed in mainstream Western schools, heart-centered thinking is distinguished by an animated curiosity that leads to a constantly adjusting, in-depth knowledge of the environment, the human culture, and its individual members. The Nurturing Generative Adult is a compassionate systems thinker, understanding the patterns and dynamics that connect the interdependent members of the more-than-human community. The Self, by way of its North facet, possesses an avant-garde insight into how our current actions ripple across space and time to other places and future generations.7
THE NURTURING GENERATIVE ADULT’S PLACE ON THE MAP OF THE PSYCHE
Why have I placed the Nurturing Generative Adult in the north of the Nature-Based Map of the Psyche? What, exactly, is it about the north that suggests nurturance and generativity?
The north is, implicitly, where the Sun goes after it sets in the west and disappears for the night before rising again in the east — a place of coldness, darkness, and stillness.8 Even during daylight hours, the north-facing sides of things are the darker, colder sides. At most times of year, the winds from the north are the colder and mightier ones. The north is also associatively partnered with the middle of the night, the time of least light and least plant growth, the winter solstice, and, consequently, the ripening depth of winter.
As with winter, the north direction is a place of hardship, but hardship that has become familiar and accustomed (in contrast with the sudden changes associated with the west, which represents the sunset and the mere start of the long night). By the middle of the night or the winter, with its dangers and challenges, we’ve adapted to darkness and devised means to survive and do well. It takes knowledge, skill, and fortitude to thrive in the cold and dark, and so the north is linked with the generative qualities of intelligence, foresight, competence, endurance, and strength. And it is these very qualities that we most need during the dark times, the qualities that enable us to care for and nurture ourselves and others.
The north, then, is said to be the place of healing, service, caring, and creative thought — in short, nurturance and generativity.
PRACTICES FOR CULTIVATING THE NORTH SELF
Because the four facets of the Self are innate resources existing in latent form within each of us, cultivating them can proceed by our simply choosing to embody or enact them the best we can in any moment. To evoke our wholeness or any one of its four facets, the single most important step is just to remember to do it!
Yes, sometimes this is easier said than done. As we begin our conscious cultivation of the Self, we may discover that our subpersonalities are in charge most of the time. But by regularly reminding ourselves and each other to practice the conscious shift to wholeness, we develop the habit and it becomes more natural and instinctual.
What part of the psyche calls on the Self when it is not already the perspective from which we’re functioning? The 3-D Ego: that neutral pivot of consciousness cognizant of its rainbow range of possible manifestations, like a craftsman with an array of tools or an artist with a palette of colors. The 3-D Ego has access to all the capacities of the Self, as well as to the contributions and vulnerabilities of the subpersonalities.
The primary practice, then, for cultivating the North Self is to simply turn inward and call upon this facet to make itself present to you, or to feel yourself stepping into the North’s perspective, experiencing the world from the North’s wholehearted and clearheaded point of view. As often as you can remember to do so, pause for a moment and ask your Nurturing Generative Adult to step forward into consciousness, into your embodied experience of being present to your world as you find it right then. You might remind yourself of other times when you fully experienced yourself inhabiting this generous and effective North perspective — perhaps when you were compassionately caring for another or in a leadership or teaching position or when engaged in a challenging project that demanded great skill or courage. Or you might call to mind one or two inspiring role models. As you move into this North consciousness, notice how your experience of being in your body shifts. Now, from this North perspective, what feels like the best and most important thing to do in this moment? Or what seems like the best way to proceed with what you’re already in the midst of? What opportunities for nurturing and generative loving offer themselves to you right now?
You can also cultivate your North Self by enrolling in courses and programs that focus on Northerly realms, such as leadership development, nonviolent communication, negotiation skills, sensitivity training, parenting, conscious loving and intimacy, sustainability, permaculture, creative expression, social artistry, and cultivating genuine participatory democracy.
Next are four of the best general self-development practices I know, followed by some additional activities specifically designed for accessing and cultivating the North facet of the Self.
Voice Dialogue, Four-Directions Circles, Dreamwork, and Deep Imagery with the Nurturing Generative Adult
These four self-development practices work equally well for cultivating all four facets of the Self and also for healing the four groupings of subperson- alities. Because these four practices apply to all aspects of healing and whol- ing, I’ve placed them together in the appendix, rather than dividing them up among eight chapters. I recommend you consult the appendix and use these practices regularly.
North Walks
Go for a walk in a neighborhood, city park, state or national park, or wilderness area. Lead with your Nurturing Generative Adult. Be aware of how you walk, sit, look, listen, think, imagine, and feel from this North perspective. Be in relationship to the things, creatures, and other humans you encounter. What opportunities for service, compassion, or caring arise? What insights emerge about the authentic way you belong in the more-than-human community of life? What emotions or longings surface? Record your discoveries in your journal.
Another walk: Wander in a wild or semiwild place where there are few other humans, asking the world or Mystery for help in finding — or being found by — a nurturing, other-than-human thing or place. Take your time with this; don’t settle for something that doesn’t truly feel nurturing to you. If you find such a thing or place, sit or lie down there and let yourself fully feel, viscerally and emotionally, the nurturing love present in this place. If you can’t feel this everywhere in your body, notice if even one part of your body can receive it. If so, allow the experience of that love to spread throughout your body. Then, in your imagination, let yourself merge with this thing or place, experiencing the world from its nurturing perspective. Allow this to feed your remembering of your Nurturing Generative Adult. Perhaps you’ll write one of the following letters while in
