chef, wrote this to explain her process of integrating the ayahuasca experience into her daily life. Amy’s description implies a learning curve or neurological reprogramming, where she gradually became better at delaying her immediate reaction so she could choose how she wanted to respond. Amy’s description is a good example of Goleman’s theory of emotional intelligence.9 Goleman calls an immediate reaction the low road, marked by a fear-based, defensive reaction governed by the brain’s amygdala. The amygdala warns us of danger, enabling us to react quickly when we see a snake on the path in front of our foot. However, when the amygdala takes over in our interpersonal relationships, we say or do things without thinking, which we inevitably come to regret. The low road is in contrast to the high road, which allows time for the prefrontal cortex to weigh in and think through a more conscious response.
The young chef learning to respond in a “level-headed, caring way” is describing more than the alleviation of depression. She’s developing self-regulation, the capacity to manage emotions, channeling them into constructive communications. Goleman explained that widening the gap between impulse and action is exactly what mindfulness training does. In this case, ayahuasca is helping Amy to do the same.
Katie, a thirty-year-old graduate student, reported her version of a similar process: “I’ve always been sensitive, cried, laughed, howled at the moon. Now I’ve learned to accept that’s who I am, and I’ve learned discernment about when to express it and how to express it. But I definitely express it.” It’s clear from Katie’s description that taking the high road is not about squelching feelings. “When to express” and “how to express” are the hallmarks of her prefrontal cortex deciding the best way to deal with her intense feelings.
A forty-five-year-old salesman wrote how he’d changed in relationship to his emotions: “I now embrace happiness and sadness equally.” He was describing an expanded acceptance of his emotional range, which is reminiscent of the Buddhist quality of equanimity, the capacity to see what is without judgment, without getting caught in desiring one emotion over another. This man described a subtle shift in perspective in which he didn’t identify with his transitory moods but identified with the Self that the moods move through, just as clouds float by in the sky.
Some people reported greater openness in relationships along with less depression and anxiety. Clinically, it’s irrelevant which happened first. As they felt better emotionally, they became more available in their relationships, and as they felt more connected, their mood improved. “I’ve come out of my shell,” one man reported. Good news, however it happened.
When antidepressants worked for my psychotherapy clients, they reported similar symptomatic relief: “I didn’t know life could be like this.” “I can’t believe I resisted going on drugs.” “The meds, even at low doses, got me through my husband’s death.” And even, “I’ve hired a lawyer and I’m filing for divorce.” Believe me, this last one was a breakthrough we couldn’t get from therapy alone.
There’s an important difference, however, between the ayahuasca reports and the quotes from my psychotherapy clients on antidepressants. Everyone describes the same lessening of depression and anxiety, symptoms that they’ve suffered with most of their lives. The difference is that people drinking ayahuasca describe a spiritual process as well. The shift in their relationship to their moods is what makes their process spiritual, rather than only lessening symptoms. Here’s how Lisa, a fifty-nine-year-old therapist, expressed it: “I am confident and serene within the context of a fluctuating personality and body. My core is secure.”
This shift in perspective does not generally occur with antidepressants alone, even when the person has been on a spiritual path for years. A client of mine, a yoga teacher, told me, “I listen to my Prozac brain now to make better decisions.” Her comment illustrates awareness but not the spiritual level of Self-identification reflected in the ayahuasca testimonials.
Health
Some people take ayahuasca with very specific intentions regarding health and illness. In my study, Franny, a fifty-four-year-old neuropsychologist, said she intended to “put her cancer into remission.” There are plenty of stories circulating on the internet about shamans using ayahuasca to cure cancer, AIDS, Parkinson’s, and a variety of other serious diagnoses. Franny did three ayahuasca ceremonies. After the first one, she said, she “had about a year of remission. My cancer marker blood test score plummeted [a good sign] after the second session. No change after the third session.”
Franny said the message she received during her third ayahuasca ceremony was that “I can’t cure my cancer, but I can prolong my life somewhat by doing Buddhist practice, doing things I love to do, spending time with family and friends.” She said, “I’m coming to terms with the fact that I will not live out my expected life span. But I trust that I will get what I need when I am very sick. I will be taken care of.”
Research from the sixties with LSD as well as current studies using psilocybin with terminal cancer patients have shown a reduction in death anxiety along with a greater acceptance of dying.10 I’m sure ayahuasca will also prove to be helpful with terminal patients, just as it has been with Franny. Franny exemplifies the difference between being cured and being healed. She was not cured of her cancer, but she was healed in her process of facing death.
In a more general approach to health, the reported changes in diet and exercise after drinking ayahuasca are remarkable. They far exceed any other intervention, including psychotherapy, which, admittedly, does not have a very good track record. Since a significant portion of the national health-care budget is related to lifestyle choices, any improvements in diet and exercise have an impact on the national cost of medical care.
The responses about dietary changes after ayahuasca followed a strong pattern: less sugar, junk food, and red meat; more vegetables and fruit; and smaller portions. A number of people became vegetarian, some vegan, and a few were trying a raw food diet. One woman reported that her anxiety level around food was gone. Another said, “Junk food is less appealing, even chocolate,” which I consider a major breakthrough. “Each ceremony is a reminder of how food affects me, and I let go of crappy foods that creep back into my diet.”
These changes were not the result of willpower or discipline — nobody mentioned those stalwarts of the dieting world. Rather, the desire for a healthier diet seemed to unfold spontaneously as if based on some kind of revelation. Some people reported that they heard a voice telling them to change their eating habits. Others came out of a ceremony and changed lifelong patterns with seemingly no effort, as if they simply decided, “I now just prefer kale to chocolate.”
People felt better after the ceremonies and enjoyed an increase in vitality and energy. A few mentioned that their breathing had improved and that they felt younger. I remember returning home after my first ayahuasca experience and calling all my friends to tell them I’d discovered the fountain of youth. My joints felt as if they’d been oiled like the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz. Of course, I’m ten years older now, and ayahuasca has not literally made me younger, but I do still believe that the process of aging is ameliorated to a certain extent by drinking ayahuasca.
People reported that the medicine seemed to help an array of complaints, from minor aches and pains to asthma and migraines. People described being more aware of their bodies and their energy levels, along with a greater desire to take care of themselves. One woman wrote, “I’m more drawn to natural foods. Now I can feel why they’re better.”
At the same time that people improved their eating habits, they also increased their physical activity with hiking, yoga, and other kinds of exercise. Diet, health, and exercise are inextricably linked, similar to how reductions in depression and anxiety are associated with improved relationships. There’s no way to determine what caused what, but clinically, it doesn’t matter. The lived experience is one of great relief and
