a motivational speaker and people feed off of your energy because that is something that they cannot provide for themselves. It’s not about the book or the event, it’s about your personality and charisma. . . .The problem is, once the book is read and the event attended we are usually back to square one.
Anyway, I wish you success in your efforts and I will continue to watch your webinars, you are really quite therapeutic but unless you are going to move in with me and give me a kick in the pants 24/7, this stuff usually doesn’t work.
— B.
Here’s what I wrote back:
Hi B.
I think that what you are saying is exactly true — but only for about 80 percent of my audience.
That 80 percent attend a training or they read a book, they get excited . . . and then they go right back to their same old patterns and nothing changes.
As near as I can tell, that 80 percent number is true for all personal development stuff, from gym memberships to preachers to diet plans to financial strategies to everything else on the planet. Shoot — most of us wear only 20 percent of our wardrobe most of the time; the other 80 percent goes unworn.
And I think that’s fine.
If 80 percent of my audience are going to use me as a source of temporary inspiration and entertainment, well, then — what’s wrong with that?
The remaining 20 percent, though . . . they actually do it.
They take the strategies and ideas I teach, and they run with them, and they change.
They double their income.
They get out of destructive relationships.
They publish their book.
They get their “dream” business up and running.
My experience is that when people — well, I was going to write “are ready to change,” but I mean more than that — when change becomes mandatory for them, they find the teacher who’s right for them and they change.
So, B., if you suspect that you’ve reached the “mandatory” stage . . . or even if you’d just like a temporary shot of inspiration, I’d love to invite you to join us.
Thanks so much for taking the time to write.
Yours,
Sam
So here is my question for you:
Are you ready to be part of the 20 percent? Are you hungry to see real results? Because the techniques, mind-set shifts, and strategies I lay out here and at www.StartRightWhereYouAre.com have changed my life and the lives of thousands of my clients, and I know they can change yours, too.
Here’s a toast to you and your wonderful self.
By the way, you look really great today.
I WAS TOTALLY MISERABLE. In the vise grip of depression, broke, exhausted, and completely fed up with myself. It was 1998, but it could have been any year of my adult life. Two of my friends — a couple — came over with a copy of a popular self-help book to cheer me up. I remember lying on the couch (I was too sad to even sit up straight) and seeing them, beaming at me. I kind of wanted to punch them.
After all, I was no stranger to self-help. I had been an actor all my life, first in my hometown of Chicago and then in Los Angeles, and I felt my career in the arts had already earned me a PhD in woo-woo. But I didn’t have a better idea. So I thanked them, took the book, and started working with it.
I remember reading a part where the author described her day. She talked about waking up without an alarm, doing her prayer/meditation, having some tea, working with a client or two, lunch, a nap, some writing. . . . It sounded completely implausible to me. A nap? I couldn’t even imagine — or, rather, I could just barely imagine — living like that.
My life was a chronically overscheduled mess of part-time jobs, gigs, classes, auditions, projects, and shows. I usually made just barely enough money, but not quite. I remember bursting into tears in the middle of Target because I couldn’t afford the sixteen bucks for a new pair of yoga pants (yoga pants being the official uniform of the artsy Angeleno). I was working hard all the time, and yet I kept feeling like I was falling further and further behind. I was desperately unhappy, and I was using “busy” as a narcotic. “Maybe,” I thought, “if I’m busy enough, the only feeling I’ll have is ‘tired,’ and I won’t have to deal with the sneaking feeling that my life is an utter failure.”
And guess what my life is like now? Let me put it this way — in the past eleven days I have:
• started writing a new book because I got a great idea in the middle of the night that will not leave me alone.
• bought a new car because it was time to retire my wonderful 2000 Honda Accord with 184,000 miles on it.
• spent two mind-melting-in-a-good-way days at a Byron Katie workshop in Ojai, California.
• screwed up my courage to introduce myself to Stephen Mitchell (Katie’s husband), who is one of my literary heroes — I felt really shy, but I had to tell him how much his work has meant to me over the years, and I knew I couldn’t keep encouraging you all to push past your perceived limitations if I wasn’t willing to do the same.
• had a long, wonderful talk over an excellent bottle of wine with one of my oldest friends, who also happens to be a big TV star (and I got all the good Hollywood gossip).
• started a new paint-by-numbers picture, which is one of my favorite hobbies.
• paid a giant tax bill — which was great because it means business is good and getting better all the time, and plus I had salted the money away over the course of the year, so I could pay in full. My tax dude is very proud of me.
• taught seven classes — six online, one in person — to a total of over 1,500 brilliant, creative people from all over the world.
• drove into LA to drop in on my favorite improv class, because I don’t want to let my acting skills get rusty just because I moved to the beach, right?
• had two fun date nights with Luke, my sweetheart, plus our daily beach walks.
• made a lovely potato-leek soup from scratch from my battered old Julia Child cookbook — yum.
• attended a training webinar so I can stay up on all the latest email marketing technology.
• had a crown replaced (ugh), got my iPhone fixed (also ugh), had two short, effective team meetings with my fabulous crew, and finished reading two novels.
And I’ve got to say — it’s not like this past eleven days is all that different from the rest of my calendar.
Now, before you decide that I might need to be punched, my life is not all sunshine and stardust — I work hard in and on my business,
