A few years after graduating, I founded a publishing company, Brush Dance, which became a leader in creating and distributing environmentally friendly, inspirational greeting cards and calendars. (We were one of the first companies in the world to make products from recycled paper.) I ran Brush Dance for fifteen years, and then I founded ZBA Associates, a consulting company that trains leaders and employees in using mindfulness and emotional intelligence. One of my consulting clients was Google, which eventually led to my involvement in developing the Search Inside Yourself program.
I feel fortunate that my work focuses on helping individuals, teams, and companies become more conscious and aware, as well as helping them cultivate productivity, leadership, and well-being in their work. I’ve been doing this in one form or another for much of my life. Nevertheless, while mindfulness as a workplace skill has become more accepted, I’m still often asked: Why do executives and companies work with you? What motivates them to explore mindfulness?
I usually answer this question with two words: pain and possibility. It can be painful to step outside of our role and to be more in touch with our vulnerability, with the tenderness of our heart. Additionally, we usually sense when our values, aspirations, and work are not in alignment or when we are not living up to our full potential. For example, it hurts to become aware that we avoid conflict and difficulty, or we overreact in challenging situations, and thus tend to undermine our effectiveness and influence. On the other hand, we also recognize that we are capable of acting in better, more effective, and skillful ways. We see possibility and are inspired to realize that potential.
Simply recognizing a gap between how you are living, working, and leading and how you aspire to live, work, and lead can be profound and transformative. Equally inspiring is acting to narrow these gaps in effective, practical ways. Mindfulness helps us in both efforts. It helps us identify and bridge these gaps. In fact, I think just naming these gaps can be a great gift, to feel both pain and possibility: the pain of some portions of your life right now, and the possibility for greater awareness, satisfaction, ease, effectiveness, and connection. To me, recognizing, engaging with, and learning from pain and possibility, seeing the gaps that exist, is both a core mindfulness practice and an essential leadership practice. In my trainings and workshops, this is a framework I use for understanding and practicing mindful leadership, and it is a primary approach of this book.
That said, becoming aware or more conscious of the pains and possibilities of our experience, of what is actually happening — whether that’s in the world of work, community, family, relationships, or spirituality — is inconvenient and uncomfortable! It can be frightening and disruptive. This is why mindfulness, and mindful leadership, is more difficult than it may seem on the surface. Yet this is where our true power lies — our power to learn, change, and grow. This is where our ability to respond effectively, to connect deeply with others, to find solutions to problems, and to think and act creatively originates.
Signs of missed potential and opportunity are often easy to see if we dare to look. Are you avoiding facing reality or what is painful? Is your life out of alignment with your values and aspirations? Are you undermining your potential or giving away your power — that is, your ability to develop yourself, to see more clearly, and to influence others toward greater understanding, satisfaction, connection, and productivity? If so, how, or in what ways? I’ve posed this question — How do you give away your power? — to hundreds of people from many walks of life, and here are some of the answers I’ve received. Are any familiar to you?
• I say yes when I mean no.
• I rush from one thing to another to get to the “important” stuff and don’t appreciate what I am doing in the moment.
• I overthink decisions, and then overthink my overthinking.
• I feel helpless and hopeless in light of what’s happening in our world today.
• I get impatient and frustrated with myself and others over petty issues.
• I underestimate my abilities.
• I don’t make clear requests or ask for help — either because I feel like I need to do everything myself or I am afraid that others won’t respond to my needs.
• I avoid expressing strong emotions and often ignore my gut feelings regarding what I want or what I believe is right.
• I talk to fill space, fearing an uncomfortable silence.
• I check email, social media, or find other distractions when I feel the least bit sad or anxious.
• I am critical of myself for making mistakes or for making decisions that don’t turn out well.
• I don’t consistently take care of myself — I don’t get enough exercise, enough sleep, or enough healthy food.
• I avoid having deep conversations or discussing topics that make me feel vulnerable.
• I compare myself to others when it comes to appearance, money, and status.
• I sometimes feel like a failure, stuck in the gap between where I am now in my work and life and what I know in my heart is possible.
These are difficult, challenging problems for anyone, yet we sometimes feel them most acutely when we are in positions of leadership, when others depend on us and have high expectations of us. These statements often represent entrenched underlying patterns and habits. There are no quick fixes to resolve or transform them. However, just the act of naming how you give away your power can be very empowering! This is the power of awareness, the power of mindfulness practice.
MINDFUL LEADERSHIP BENEFITS THE “FULL CATASTROPHE”
In this book, I primarily address business and work life, but the truth is, the seven practices of mindful leadership can benefit all aspects of our lives. Of course, we are each of us in charge of our own lives. But more to the point, gaps we identify at work, whatever our job, often relate to gaps we experience at home, in relationships, as parents, and so on. Gaps of pain and possibility exist in every realm, and sometimes, when we recognize a gap in one area, it can open up a flood of recognition that goes far beyond our original focus.
I often begin mindfulness trainings by pairing up participants and having them address two questions: What do you love about your work, and what are your biggest challenges? Afterward, I ask the group what they discussed, and at a recent training, a woman in her midforties stood up and said, “I just changed jobs, and my commute each way is now more than an hour. I feel tremendous pressure at work to perform at a high level and to learn new skills. I work with teams globally and am constantly challenged by working in multiple time zones and an array of cultural differences. I’m expected to respond to emails and texts, regardless of what time it is. I have two young children who recently started school and need a good deal of attention, and I have a husband who also recently changed jobs.”
Because of her vulnerability, the clarity with which she spoke, and the familiarity of the challenges she faced, this woman had everyone’s attention. We could all feel and relate to her pain. And yet here she was, taking two days out of her already overscheduled life to explore mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and leadership. Clearly, she came to this training because she sensed the possibility that she was capable of working and living differently, and everyone else there did, too.
This woman was exploring mindful leadership in part because of her work and the almost exploding demands she was experiencing as a manager. But she clearly wanted to integrate mindfulness in all areas of her life. Her description reminded me of the book about mindfulness by Jon Kabat-Zinn, Full Catastrophe Living.
