smart, sexy, spiritual self fully exposed allows you to be seen for the glittery burlesque goddess or the badass bitch you are. When we reclaim our power, diversity, and voice, one woman at a time, we create change.
If you’re feeling kind of scared by this whole naked thing, I’m right there with you! I know how you feel, because once upon a time, I was scared, too. I was scared that I wasn’t enough. That I wasn’t pretty enough, or smart enough, or strong enough. That I would not be accepted for who I really was. My biggest fear was that I’d put it all out there, I’d show my raw self, and I’d be dismissed as unworthy. I’d find out that I had been right all along: that I wasn’t enough. And I’d be left standing there. Exposed. With nowhere to hide and with nothing to cover myself.
After ten years of practicing law and after a lifetime of being a really good girl, I’d personally had enough. Enough of the cover-up. Enough of always trying to do more. So, I decided to get naked and reveal myself — literally. In my midforties, I became a burlesque dancer, and it set me free! Being brave enough to get naked meant that there was nothing left for me to hide and, consequently, nothing left to fear. Cellulite, stretch marks, my exhaustion. . .my fear that no one would see me — or value me, or love me — unless I conformed to their standards. . .I put it all out there, without cover. I allowed others to see me as I was. I was seen. And I learned that who I am is more than enough.
Think about it like this: In order for a gem to sparkle most brilliantly, all its facets must be exposed. If we want to sparkle as brilliantly as we are capable of sparkling, we must expose all facets of who we are as well.
Your sparkle is your sense of worth. The knowingness that who you are inside is perfect for you. What’s covering your sparkle? Is it external factors, such as sexism, ageism, and racism? Or internal factors, such as body shame, mommy guilt, or the ideas, stories, and beliefs you hold that may no longer be true? When you get naked, and unapologetically expose all facets of who you are in everything that you do, you can’t help but sparkle and shine!
Are you ready to be seen for who you are, as opposed to what you do or the clothing you wear? Are you ready to find congruence between your inner being, the roles you play, and the persona you present to the world? Are you ready to connect deeply with yourself and start living and enjoying the life you’ve worked so hard to create? Are you ready to stop putting yourself last and to experience uninhibited joy and fulfillment every day of your life, not just on occasion?
Yes? Then you are ready to FLAUNT!
Choreographing Your Life, and What You’ll Find in This Book to Help You
Since the three-act structure of beginning, middle, and end is used universally in storytelling and dance choreography, so too does FLAUNT! follow this structure to sashay you through the three acts of your own life: past, present, and future.
Act I, “Recognize & Release,” is your past. Your heritage, culture, and entire history, including all the key experiences or stories in your life that have made you the woman you are today. Act I is where you take an honest look at your labels, roles, scripts, and masks; the costumes you wear; and the overarching theme of your life; and ask, “Who has been choreographing my life for me, what exactly have they created, and is my life, the way it stands now, even something I want?” Recognition makes you aware of what is, or is not, serving you and what inhibitions you may need to release in order to soar and be seen and accepted for all that you truly are.
In Act II you “Reveal” who you are, exclusive of everything that you recognized and released in Act I. This is where you boldly meet and claim your inner burlesque star, and where you learn to return an answer to the trite cocktail-hour question “So, what do you do?” that goes much deeper than merely stating your job title and relationship status. In Act II you will be introduced to the five steps of FLAUNT! and will dance your way through the first three so you can reclaim your joy and bravely incorporate your authentic self back into your life. Here’s a sneak peek at the five steps:
FLAUNT! Step 1: Find Your Fetish
FLAUNT! Step 2: Laugh Out Loud
FLAUNT! Step 3: Accept Unconditionally
FLAUNT! Step 4: Navigate the Negative
FLAUNT! Step 5: Trust Your Truth
Act III, “Re-choreograph,” moves you through the final two steps of FLAUNT! and provides tips, tools, and tricks for re-choreographing a future that allows you to meet your responsibilities but still dance the dance you were born to perform. Free from self-judgment and self-sacrifice, from a life lived from the neck up, disconnected from your body, your spirit, and your own core essence. Here you learn how to embrace your own imperfect womanhood, free from inhibition and with the ability to be the joyous, satisfied — dare I say — sparkly being you were meant to be!
What Is Burlesque?
No, I’m not talking about a movie with Cher and Christine Aguilera. Burlesque is a glittery, glamorous, and oftentimes humorous extravaganza that originated in Europe over 150 years ago. It continued in America through the vaudeville circuits; into the glamorous forties, fifties, and sixties; all the way to the present day through the neo-burlesque resurgence. Although some people think that burlesque is stripping, it isn’t. Burlesque is a theatrical experience where the audience purchases a ticket to the show; they do not pay or tip dancers to take off more clothes or to give them personalized attention. The point of a burlesque show is to provoke thought, laughter, and teasing entertainment. It is not about inspiring lust. In fact, although many burlesque performers go down to pasties (nipple covers, often with tassels) and panties, full nudity is not allowed.
Burlesque is a parody, a grand and dazzling spectacular that points out the various juxtapositions or ironies present in everyday life and mocks many of society’s uptight views. Using humor, exaggeration, and daring, burlesque showcases that which is right in front of our eyes but we choose not to see. Which is what makes the removal of clothing so powerful: nudity is taboo! Burlesque pokes fun at the fact that sex, age, sexuality, and non-Photoshopped bodies are all things that we have but deny about ourselves to others.
Performers tease the audience by making them think they are going to see something they shouldn’t see and then pulling it away. A good performer creates anticipation by concealing and revealing that which lies beneath her elaborate costume, always leaving the audience wanting more. Like so many other things in life, burlesque is all about the tease! When our desires and rewards are dangled just outside our reach, it entices us, keeps us playing the game, hanging on, and wanting more!
In burlesque lingo, whenever an article of clothing is removed, it’s called a reveal. Each reveal provides the audience with a little bit more information, shows them a bit more, and gives them enough satisfaction to keep them watching, always waiting for more. Burlesque is interactive. The emcee in a burlesque show typically begins by explaining to the audience that burlesque is not like traditional theater. If you see something you like and want to see more, holler! Whistle! Have fun and show your appreciation! Let the dancers know that you acknowledge their bravery. Their daring. Let them know that they are being seen and accepted. Sometimes, when an audience is too
