Murder Fit for a King. Larry McCloskey
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“No, of course you’re not,” John said, glaring at his daughter as if she were crazy.
Caitlin shrugged at the staring crowd, trying to give the impression that she was the tolerant, caring friend of a raving lunatic on a day pass from an asylum.
“Don’t let them get to you girls,” King said. “I always had to endure the taunts and whispers of narrow-minded people because of my particular, uh, eccentricities.”
“What are ecc ... eccentricities?” Caitlin asked, wrinkling her nose.
“Certain quirky characteristics,” John answered as he hurried toward the girls. “I hadn’t really thought of you as eccentric, but you are kind of quirky, Dani.”
“What do you mean?” Dani demanded.
“Well, for example, didn’t you wear those long-legged overalls all summer?” Suddenly, John began bouncing from one foot to the other.
“Dad, you’re wearing shorts and it’s almost snowing.” Then she noticed her father hopping around. “The washroom’s over there, Dad.”
“Right. Back in a flash.”
“A grown man needs to be told when and where to go to the washroom and he thinks his daughter’s a bit weird,” Louise said, joining the girls.
“Pot calling the kettle black,” King offered.
“Huh?” both girls cried loudly.
“It’s an expression,” King told them.
“I’m sorry. Do you have a question?” the tour guide asked as heads once again craned toward the girls. “Maybe our two young friends would like to lead this tour. Perhaps they’ll find a real ghost for us, since they seem to have a lot to contribute today.”
Laughter broke out among the tour group members.
The tour guide smirked. “Maybe you know a way to call a ghost on demand just like old Mackenzie King did when he wanted to talk to his mom.”
“Blasted fool! Go on, girls, move up to the front of the group and we’ll show this nincompoop and his band of doubting Thomases something to remember. Don’t worry. I’ll back you up whatever you do.”
“Cat got your tongue?” the tour guide taunted. “Come now, girls, you seem to want the floor. Now you have it. Tell us or show us something more interesting than I can. Come on, let’s see something fantastic.”
Slowly, ever so slowly, Caitlin’s wrinkles disappeared from her forehead, and the braid she had been chewing dropped from her mouth.
Even more slowly, Dani’s scowl vanished and a benevolent smile splashed across her face.
“Show them!” King encouraged.
Twenty pairs of eyes and twenty know-it-all adult smiles were fixed on the girls, waiting and watching.
“Well ...” Dani began, folding her arms.
“Well ...” Caitlin started, hoping Dani would hurry up and say something.
“Yes, it’s true we’re here to demonstrate that ghosts really do exist at Mr. King’s estate,” Dani finally said.
Chuckles greeted her declaration. Returning from the wash-room, John looked mortified, just as he did when Nikki peed on the leg of someone Dani’s father had stopped to talk to.
Caitlin glanced nervously at her friend as the tour guide’s smirk widened. “That’s right ... I think.” Then, shooting a panicked look at Dani, she said, “Now what?”
“I’m not sure,” Dani whispered through clenched teeth.
“Offer to move something and I’ll do it,” King suggested.
“Well, perhaps it’s time to return to Earth and get on with the tour,” the guide said.
“I can prove a ghost is here,” Dani said, “‘cause the ghost is going to move that broom over there.”
An outburst of giggles was quickly extinguished by deep gasps for air. A broom innocently leaning against the cottage moved ever so slightly as Dani finished speaking. Silence descended on the group before adult common sense quickly reasoned away the fantastic event.
“No, it couldn’t have been,” someone said.
“It’s not possible,” another insisted.
“Can’t imagine,” still another maintained.
Dani hugged herself and put on her maddest expression. “Oh, yeah? Just watch.”
Jaws dropped as the broom twirled several times and fell to the ground. Again silence engulfed the group, and Dani’s maddest expression was replaced with a grin.
“Now everyone looks like a ghost,” Caitlin marvelled.
“Way cool,” Dani said. “Eat your heart out, Harry Potter.”
“The wind!” a woman shouted from the tour group.
“Yeah, that’s it,” another man said. “The wind blew the broom.”
Murmurs and nervous giggles percolated throughout the group.
“Ladies and gentlemen, this little episode has been amusing,” the guide said, “but we do have a tour to complete, after all.” All business now, the guide briskly shepherded his charges in the direction of Moorside Cottage.
“Almost seemed real ...” one man mumbled.
“Had us going, the little dickins,” an old geezer said, shaking his head.
“Funny little coincidence ...” a woman murmured.
Dani’s maddest expression reshaped her face as the tour group entered Moorside Cottage.
I wonder if we’ll ever get to the gelato, Caitlin thought.
King huffed and puffed. “Coincidence, my ...! If only these grown-up fools realized there’s no such thing as coincidence. That guide reminds me of one of my most troublesome ministers. He was all reason and blindness, too.”
“Huh?” Caitlin and Dani exclaimed simultaneously.
“Don’t you see, young ladies? Most people, all adults I daresay, think the world is what they see before them. They can’t imagine anything else, and politicians are the worst.”
“How come people vote for them then?” Dani asked.
“Precisely because they, the voting public, want desperately to believe in this rational, predictable, and utterly foolish world.”
Caitlin leaned forward and whispered