down the law. “And it will be good for Allie.”
I hadn’t thought that things being good for Alvin would even interest Vince. “I wouldn’t be so sure. We’re not always on the same wavelength. But it would be good for him to have Mrs. Parnell here. She has a way with him.”
Mrs. Parnell chose that moment to teeter into the kitchen. She flashed me a poisonous look. Perhaps because she was passing right under a prominent No Smoking sign. Alvin loped behind her.
“Thank you very much, young man,” she said to Vince in tones reminiscent of McArthur in his finest hour. “But I wouldn’t think of being a burden.”
“You would not be a burden,” Vince said.
“No, you wouldn’t,” said Tracy. “We’d love to have you here.”
“We won’t hear of you going elsewhere,” Frances Ann said.
I thought smoke would pour out Mrs. Parnell’s ears, but Alvin spoke up. “Violet can’t handle the stairs here. She’d be better off next door with Loretta and Donald Donnie. You’ll like them, Violet. The three of you can sit up all night and smoke like forest fires.”
“Really?” said Mrs. Parnell. “That sounds most satisfactory.”
“Loretta and Donald Donnie? Ma won’t like that.” Tracy said.
“Have you lost your mind, Allie?” Frances Ann slapped a dish towel on the counter.
“I told you so,” Vince said.
I was proud of Alvin. He paid no attention. “And they have a spare bed on the main floor, so you won’t have stairs, Violet.”
Mrs. Parnell smiled fondly at Alvin.
“Plus, they keep the liquor cabinet full,” Alvin said.
“You’re always so thoughtful, dear boy.”
“Let’s go, Violet. I’ll introduce you.”
“Wait a minute. They’re my relatives.” I wanted to scream “Don’t leave me here with these people.” But the door had already slammed behind them as they thumped down the front steps. At the bottom, Alvin paused briefly to flick Mrs. P.’s lighter for her.
I watched them head next door, Mrs. Parnell lurching with her two canes and Alvin loping his lope. Only the set of Alvin’s shoulders gave a clue that things were not as they should be.
“See what I mean?” Vince said to Frances Ann.
“Typical,” she said.
I’d had enough. “Well, that’s great. I’m glad Mrs. Parnell will be among like-minded people. I’ll head over too.”
“No.” Mrs. Ferguson had a tightness around the mouth which I assumed resulted from the Donald Donnie and Loretta switcheroo. “You will stay here. No one can say Fergusons don’t do the right thing.”
I tried one last tactic. “Do you have enough room?”
“Seven kids grew up here. Only Vince and me now. And Jimmy, of course. You can take your choice of places to sleep.”
I know when I’m beaten.
Tracy chirped. “Take my old room. It has the best bed.”
I caved. I needed a bath and a snooze so badly at that point, I would have stepped cheerfully into the grizzly section of the zoo, which was a pretty good comparison. But I couldn’t see myself relaxing until I had a few answers. Creature comforts would have to wait. I knew where the answers would be.
Nine
Somehow after the tensions at the Château Ferguson, a wall of second-hand smoke would be a small price to pay to relax. Loretta and Donald Donnie didn’t have a swarm of family photos on every wall. But then they’d never had children, or even pets, and they were no beauties themselves. They were somewhere in the gray zone between seventy-five and eighty. Loretta had a few too many teeth and red hair that would be startling on a twenty-year old. It had a surprising tendency to rise straight up. Donald Donnie didn’t have any hair but kept his scalp nicely polished. They seemed to favour TV Guide over the current Giller winners and things that came out of packages instead of out of ovens. They sure liked company. Gussie followed me over, wagged his or her tail, and managed to get stuck in the door.
“Let Gussie in, though I have to tell you, that dog farts something awful,” Loretta said, slipping Gussie a few pretzels.
“We’ve been having the most interesting conversations,” Mrs. Parnell said, lighting up.
“I bet,” I said.
“Took her long enough to get over here, didn’t it, Dad?” Loretta said, giving me an arched red eyebrow.
“Indeed it did.”
“I would have preferred to be here earlier, trust me. What have you done with Alvin?”
“He’s tucked in upstairs, resting quietly,” Mrs. Parnell said. “We’ll let him be.”
“I suppose they had you in a headlock. Filling you full of their opinions about poor Allie. If you’d any brains, you’d of jumped out of the window and run for it.”
“She’s here now, Mum. So, girl. Feel like a slug of something before dinner?” Donald Donnie said.
“I’m okay, thanks. I need to be able to think straight.”
“All right, if you think that will help.” Loretta found this almost as hilarious as Donald Donnie did. Even Mrs. Parnell flashed an evil grin.
“You doing all right next door?” Loretta deposited a large blue plastic bowl of salt and vinegar potato chips within easy reach.
“They’re very kind,” I said, lying through my teeth. It didn’t seem right to trash the Fergusons when they were giving me a room, even though it came with a high psychological price.
“I never knew them to be kind, did you, Dad?”
“Indeed, I never did, Mum. Are you sure about that?”
“Smart as whips, the lot of them. But kind? That’s a new one.”
That’s where you get when you try a harmless social lie. Caught up in a web of deceit.
“How are they being kind? Exactly?” Loretta said.
“You know, offering food and everything.” I now needed to change the subject and fast.
Donald Donnie was shaking his head. “Kind. Isn’t that amazing. Must be the shock of Jimmy being missing.”
“You know, I think it is.” I helped myself to a hefty mouthful of chips so I wouldn’t have to invent details of the Fergusons’ alleged kindness.
“Loretta and Donald Donnie have lived here
