of other people we admire. In this way, people often have deeper, more profound leadership impacts than they ever know. But certainly all of us are leaders at some times and some places in our lives.
Gratifying and Humbling Lessons in Leadership
The fact that we are all leaders at some points in our lives — sometimes even when we are not aware of it — was brought home to me in a gratifying yet humbling way as I approached my 60th birthday. A note arrived in the mail from a woman who lived in a town we had moved away from more than 30 years before. In that town I worked for a newspaper publishing company that had hired me while I was still in college. It was a small but rapidly growing newspaper publishing company, and we generally thought of ourselves as family. Looking back, I would have sworn I knew the first name of everyone on the payroll. But the note that arrived more than three decades later was from someone whose name I could not remember.
The woman wrote that she had just returned from a long trip and was blessed to have taken many beautiful photos that she would cherish. Whenever she looked at them, they could transport her back to enjoy again her wonderful adventure. She said that for many years she had meant to write, but finally she could no longer put it off. She wanted me to know how grateful she was for having inspired her interest in photography, which had enriched her life in so many ways for so many years. To my chagrin and shame, I could not remember this woman at all. To this day, I have no recollection of the role I played in a life-changing experience for her. Although I am embarrassed by my faulty memory, I am grateful that she wrote — and for reminding me of how our actions can serve a leadership purpose even when we are not remotely aware of it.
IN THE COMMUNITY
Lasting Leadership Quiz: Who Matters Most?
It’s easy for us to see how famous athletes, movie stars, and other celebrities appear to have an impact on people of all ages in our culture. We wear their expensive jerseys and shoes, adopt their expressions and fashions, imitate their grooming, buy their movies and music, and seemingly try to adopt their identities. This is especially true of young people.
So who are the role models who really shape our behavior long term? To find out, try this little quiz on yourself, your friends, and relatives and especially any teenagers in your home.
Part I: Answer the first six questions as well as you can.
1. Name the five richest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman Trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America Contest.
4. Name 10 people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize. How about five?
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and best actress.
6. Name the last decade’s World Series winners.
How are you doing? Don’t get discouraged. You may find the next ones easier.
Part II: Answer the next five questions as well as you can.
7. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
8. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
9. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
10. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
11. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
A reflection: When it comes to having an impact and lasting influence on people, obviously it’s not about position, money, or fame. Applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Titles slip away. The paparazzi disappear. Lasting influence comes with intimacy: we are most influenced by the people we believe care most about us.
A more dramatic story is one told to me about a poor governess’ global legacy. Some years ago I met a Hindu from India who was beginning to make his mark as a real estate developer in the United States and soon would become a multimillionaire. At the time, I was looking for investors to launch a Catholic publication. One of my brothers worked with this man and told me that he might be interested in my project. I was skeptical that a Hindu would want to invest in a Catholic publication, but I trusted my brother’s judgment and made an appointment to visit the man.
He received me graciously and quickly confirmed his interest. I couldn’t help asking him why he would want to invest in an explicitly Catholic product. He told me the story of a governess who practically raised him as a boy in India. She was a wonderful woman for whom he felt the deepest gratitude. It also happened that she was Catholic and faithfully attended Mass every Sunday. On occasion, she would take him along, and he was intrigued by the ritual. Although she was paid only a relative pittance, she always found a way to buy him birthday and holiday presents, something not expected of servants. In addition to her remarkable care and contributions to his development, he was impressed by her kindness and generosity.
IN THE FAMILY
The Power to Shape Lives
We are all always educators because people are always observing our behavior. What we do influences people much more than what we say. This is especially true in the parent-child relationship, as the following poem makes clear. The author says her reflections were inspired by her mother.
When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking 11
By Mary Rita Schilke Korzan
When you thought I wasn’t looking
You hung my first painting on the refrigerator
And I wanted to paint another.
When you thought I wasn’t looking
You fed a stray cat
And I thought it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn’t looking
You baked a birthday cake just for me
And I knew that little things were special things.
When you thought I wasn’t looking
You said a prayer
And I believed there was a God that
I could always talk to.
When you thought I wasn’t looking
You kissed me good-night
And I felt loved.
When you thought I wasn’t looking
I saw tears come from your eyes
And I learned that sometimes things hurt —
But that it’s alright to cry.
When you thought I wasn’t looking
You smiled
And
