The Fiddler Is a Good Woman. Geoff Berner

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to pick you up with.” But she didn’t seem that upset that she had to go without one and let the wind blow through her mohawk. I remember her hair was completely buzzed to the skin on either side. I put on the helmet, she helped me climb on behind her, and I put my arms around her and leaned in. It truly was a delicious, sweet feeling as we started to rumble away.

      Right then I heard her say, “Oh shit — cops.” I looked to the left and saw the Mountie in his cruiser off on a side road start to move. I could see that he saw us, and DD saw that, too, so she shouted, “Hold on tight!” and she gunned the motor. We took off so fast you wouldn’t believe it. Motorcycles seem to be able to get going fast, faster than a car, if you see what I’m talking about. They accelerate. So we accelerated out of there on this suddenly howling, moaning, beast of a machine, and I had to use all the strength in my body to hold onto her in a panic and she just whizzed us over that undulating island road. At first I was completely blown out on the sensory overload of speeding on a motorcycle for the first time in my life. When I had a minute to get used to that, I thought, Wow, this person is really exciting! But then after another minute or so it crossed my mind, Umm, what are we doing? Running away from the cops? Isn’t this an island? Is there something I don’t know? Maybe we’re going to hide in the woods or something? But after a few more minutes we pulled up in front of her little rented house, which was going to be our little rented house, and we dismounted, and I didn’t say anything because I really wasn’t sure what to say.

      She brought me in and offered me tea, and as the kettle was beginning to boil, sure enough, the cop pulled into the driveway, because he knew DD, of course, like everyone else on the island. I said, “Uh, the police are here.” She kind of sighed and said, “Oh, boy. I’m not sure what I was thinking there.” And she walked out to have a chat with Mike the cop.

      So, that was an inkling there, where for no reason except an instinct to run away from authority or something, she kind of switched into flight mode and did this bizarre high-speed chase to nowhere.

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