but Lilian said that an anonymous donor had given the department two million kronor. And since the Stavenius family is rich, with masses of contacts among research councils and bankers, it isn’t completely unlikely that there’s a connection.’ Cissi looked thoughtful and then continued: ‘Whatever. Amongst other things, the money is going to go to my salary, so, phew, saved by the bell.’ Cissi happily pretended to wipe sweat from her brow.
Cissi was going to be able to finish her dissertation! The thought made Vera happy, but at the same time… the whole thing felt wrong.
‘So everything is fine and dandy now?’ said Vera, sounding harsher than she intended. Cissi started.
‘What do you mean by that?’
‘Well…’ Vera stopped herself. She realized that Peter’s position on the project was at least more natural than hers; he was an advanced student in the subject and had even taught it.
Some discordant toots and howling came from the direction of the brass section.
Cissi studied her with a worried frown. The student band began to play a classic jazz tune. Vera mumbled ‘see you later’ to Cissi. She stared at the floor as she carefully made her way toward the door and did not see where they came from: Åke Sturesson, Lilian, Peter and Morley were suddenly standing in her way. Morley was reasoning with Peter.
‘Like father, like son, huh?’ and he thumped Peter on the back.
Vera tried to pass them, but Sturesson stopped her and yelled over the music, ‘Now it’s time to dance, children!’
Nobody reacted. Sturesson guided the group towards the dance floor and waved encouragingly at Vera: ‘Women are in great demand this evening, so the choice is all yours!’
He nodded towards Morley and Peter. Vera looked at the ruddy professor and her dressed-up dorm-mate. Everyone waited. Finally, Lilian gripped Morley’s well-filled jacket sleeve and said, ‘Shall we, Mr Morley?’
Supported by Lilian, Morley staggered away towards the dance floor. With a well-practised maneuver, she deflected his hand, which had glided a little too far down her stylish, dark-blue dress. Vera and Peter remained where they were. Sturesson smiled and moved towards department head Lange.
‘May I have the honor?’ asked Peter, looking into Vera’s eyes and bowing slightly from the waist like a stiff toy prince in some make-believe Disney saga.
‘Thank you, but I’ll pass,’ said Vera, and left.
Vera’s shoes had almost no heels at all, but her entire right side ached after an evening of favoring it to protect her left. She was forced to sit down and rest on a chair by the stairs. Over on the dark parquet dance floor she saw how Cissi took Peter by the arm and led him forward. In the midst of the billowing crowd, they began to dance – happily, almost flirting. Vera wondered how much longer she had to stay. When, according to all these unwritten rules, was it legitimate to go home? And through the dull pain, spied an irrepressible glimmer of hope – soon it would be the fifth of November.
17
That we need a radically new economic rationality is, at this stage of history, overwhelmingly self-evident. A Green economics – or ecological economics, as I prefer to call it – transforms our destructive economic logic because it subordinates economics to the process of life, rather than, as has been the rule so far, placing life at the service of economics.
Manfred Max-Neef, ‘The Gaia Atlas of Green Economics’
For the first time in his 24-year life, Peter had been rejected by a girl. The unknown feeling was unexpectedly hard to take, and when Cissi appeared and invited him to dance to the big-band classic Just A Gigolo, his mind was still reeling from Vera’s wounding words: ‘Thank you, but I’ll pass.’ Why wouldn’t she even dance with him? What had he ever done to her? Maybe she hated Just A Gigolo? If so, that was something he could sympathize with.
‘How is Vera, really?’ Peter nodded to where Vera was sitting as he guided Cissi out to the dance floor.
‘The City hotel’s Jooohn Travolta,’ sang Renhornen’s vocalist, in a pitch-perfect voice.
‘I actually don’t know. She seems so bitter and strange tonight,’ said Cissi. ‘I wonder if it has anything to do with her…’ She broke off.
‘What?’
‘No, I don’t know. It’s none of my business, but I have a feeling she and her husband are separating. I’ve heard that can make you really unstable.’
‘Ah! No, it probably isn’t easy.’ It was a relief, and Peter struggled not to look pleased. Something else came to mind, making him feel a little ashamed.
‘Yes, and maybe she’s in pain; have you seen how she’s still limping?’ That must be why she didn’t want to! How could he have failed to see that? Maybe because he had been so preoccupied by the fact that he had suddenly realized what she reminded him of: the hair with the flowers, the small, sticking-out ears and the lovely dress made her look like an Elf – the wisest, most just, beautiful and capable mythical being in Tolkien’s world, which had enchanted his boyhood room. A creature that was above human frailties, one that did not fall for simple flirtations, but instead faithfully committed herself for life. Peter’s heart pounded harder, as if he were close to answering his most important question.
‘Well, just because your knee hurts it doesn’t mean you have to be negative about the successes of the welfare project, does it? That’s nuts!’ said Cissi. She felt a vague worry: Was I wrong to choose Vera? She glanced at Peter and wondered what he would say if she asked the question out loud.
The singer in the peppermint-striped skirt and tailcoat could really sing: ‘I ain’t got nobody – nobody cares for me, nobody, nobody…’
Cissi shook off her dour thoughts and focused on the moment, the experience of a party and the glamor of being in the arms of a good-looking man who, surprisingly, knew how to lead a woman on the dance floor, despite the fact that he wasn’t from Norrland. Things could be worse, she thought, and saw the party lights reflecting in her gold dress.
After the rewarding dance with Cissi, Peter returned to Vera, who sat over by the stairs, distractedly watching the half-moon behind the naked birch trees outside.
He knew more now and wanted to talk about the future. ‘Does your leg hurt?’ he asked.
Vera started and looked at him. ‘Yes, you could say that.’
‘Yes, otherwise you would be expected to do your duty as Woman on the project,’ he emphasized with what he thought was a charming, teasing twinkle in his eye. ‘We’re going to have to see how this pans out, us working together and everything…’ He took a step closer.
Vera looked at him as if he were behaving threateningly. She got up smoothly using just one leg. Light and strong, thought Peter. No surprise that an Elf can get up like that.
She looked at him briefly before firmly grabbing the stair rail, turning her back to the party and hobbling down the stairs: ‘Yes, I’m going to have to see how it pans out for me.’
He recognized an unfathomable determination.
And
