for the way they take responsibility for their actions. Good or bad, players who succeed hardly ever use the word blame. They do not blame their linemates, the quality of the ice, or the words of the coach. The greatest players know that ultimately the only people who can take full credit for their progress are the players themselves.
What’s also important is that when we listen to those successful players talk about their upbringing, their home life, their family, their education—all their struggles and challenges—we learn something interesting from what they say and how they say it. Without fail, they never blame their life situation.
The most confident players—the ones who win consistently—hold themselves accountable. In spite of their problems and struggles, they take responsibility for what they have achieved, and all of them have had to deal with challenges along the way. Life challenges, like hockey pucks, will just keep coming right at you. It’s how you deal with them that counts.
What does this mean to you? Is there something these players are doing that you can use, that will shift how you look at your progress? You bet.
Starting today, learn from the greats. Know that taking responsibility for your progress is the first step. It is the key to your success, in hockey and in life. Start now to develop the habit of being accountable and taking responsibility for what you do, how you do it, what you say, and how you say it. Yes, absolutely, there will be times when you’ll kick yourself because what you said or did wasn’t what you would do if you could start all over again. Here’s the thing—we all mess up sometimes.
We All Mess Up
“Without mistakes, how would we know what we had to work on?”
PETER MCWILLIAMS, American self-help author
WE ALL WISH sometimes that we could take back our words or our actions—the ones that make us cringe when we think about them. It’s how we act when we mess up that turns us into champions. We can make a conscious decision to take responsibility for our actions and our words. We can resolve right now to do better next time—and make sure that next time we do in fact do better.
The beauty of being human is that we are born to learn, develop, grow, and get better every single day. At every moment, our brains are developing more fully—we are learning more every second. It’s a natural human state to be changing a little bit every day. By making the decision to change our actions and responses a little bit in the right way every day, we are guaranteed to become a better player and more confident playing the game of life, which means that we will inevitably taste success more regularly.
SUPERCHARGE THE MOMENTUM OF POSITIVE CHANGE—JUST AS A FAST-MOVING PUCK HAS MORE MOMENTUM WHEN IT’S HIT WITH TWICE THE POWER.
Here is an awesome piece of advice that has helped my players find the strength to stand up and be strong. A great guy in my village passed it on to me many years ago. Now I live my life by this advice, and it has helped my players develop their own sense of personal power.
Wilf Bennett is a hardworking man who has a great perspective on people. A former bull rider and author, he shared with me these words, based on an old proverb: “There are three kinds of people: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who ask, ‘What happened?’” What a way to sort out those who step up when they mess up, those who talk about stepping up, and those who never step up!
You may already be the player who makes things happen, or you may want to be that player. The key here is to step up and take action. Be accountable for your actions, good or bad. Own them, and take responsibility for making progress.
You may be thinking, Why is taking responsibility important for developing my hockey confidence? Good question. Here’s why:
Ask yourself, when you blame other people for your actions:
•Does it feel good inside? Does it really?
•Does it feel like a hit to your happiness?
•Do you feel like crap?
•Do you wish you could see yourself feeling better?
•Is your confidence sky-high afterwards?
It’s okay—I know the answers, and now you do too. Putting the blame on other people prevents you from taking ownership of your part. When you take ownership of your actions, you take responsibility for upgrading your results. Start now to develop your confidence by taking responsibility for your actions and for your progress.
Let’s take a look at the story of one NHL player who took personal responsibility for his decisions and actions and used it to develop his confidence before he even got to the NHL.
It’s how we act when we mess up that turns us into champions.
First overall draft pick Nathan MacKinnon is an inspiring example of someone who makes things happen on the ice and takes responsibility for his actions. Nathan played hockey in his home province of Nova Scotia. He took responsibility to improve himself and his game and was a key factor in helping the Halifax Mooseheads come from behind in a crucial Memorial Cup game.
“He was the guy who competed all the time,” says Halifax head coach Dominique Ducharme of his star forward’s performance. “He made things happen, he was skating, he was hard on the puck, it was hard to get the puck from him, and obviously he was a big reason for our comeback.”1
Nathan took responsibility for his progress and his success, and he helped his teammates by being fully committed to getting results. The Mooseheads went on to win the Memorial Cup, and Nathan was named most valuable player (MVP) of the tournament. Later, he became the youngest player ever to play a regular season game for the Colorado Avalanche.
Now let’s see how taking personal responsibility for your decisions, actions, and progress develops into an action step that will set you on the path to building your inner strength and hockey confidence.
Setting Yourself on Fire
“You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do.”
HENRY FORD, founder of the Ford Motor Company
THINK. WHICH PLAYERS do you admire the most? How did you hear about them? What happens when you watch them? How do you think it feels to be that successful? If they were unsuccessful, would you be admiring those players? Would you be watching them? Would you have even heard of them? Maybe not.
Do you think that their flame of success burned bright right from the very beginning . . . or is it possible that their success started small, just like a roaring fire always starts from a tiny spark? Do you suspect that over the years they chose to learn from the best, to grow and develop and find ways to get stronger—just like you? Absolutely! And you know what? They never stop learning.
It’s important for all of us to remember this: We all started somewhere.
There may be times in our lives when we want to be further ahead than we are. Here’s an action step that will help you move forward:
When are we at our strongest, our most confident, our most powerful? Is it when we are doing nothing to help ourselves? Probably not.
Yes,
