deeply from the grace present during pregnancy and birth, entering more fully into your feminine genius. I highly recommend attending a quality birth class, conducting your own research, reading more books, and talking with your husband and medical provider when making plans for your birth.
It is outside the scope of this book to provide comprehensive information on every unique circumstance. However, I do believe there is something within these pages for every single woman as she approaches her birth. My prayer is that in these pages will be found encouragement, grace, hope, beauty, and truth. I hope that you come away knowing deeply that no matter what kind of birth you are called to have, you are indeed made for this.
May you and your baby be blessed with a healthy, happy, and, yes, holy birth.
Why Birth Matters
“Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”— 1 Corinthians 10:31
“I did it. I can’t believe I just did that!” Her words as she held on her chest the wriggling, slippery baby boy fresh from the womb were exhausted but euphoric. “I’ve never done anything so amazing.”
It was the moment she had been waiting for, the moment so many women long for. And she, like so many other mothers before her, was transformed. Her hair was matted, her face sweaty, her body bleeding and aching, and yet she was radiant. Just moments before she had been absolutely certain she couldn’t do one bit more, and then, like so many mothers before her, she did it.
And it changed her.
The shocking, raw, messy, agonizing reality of birth has an incredible power. In its very nature, birth — every birth — is designed by the Creator to be one of the most profound and intense moments of our lives, and women know that deeply. Millions of women have felt its power, and countless women long for it. It isn’t just the intellectual and spiritual reality of becoming a mother, though most certainly that is part of it, but the actual process of childbirth itself has the potential to transform us. And it is meant to. The physical process of birth is intimately tied to a mental, emotional, and spiritual one. For the mother at the center, it’s never “just” a birth. Birthing our babies isn’t like a run to the store or a chore to check off a list. It isn’t something we’re meant to just grit our teeth and get through in order to have a baby. It is innately personal, involving our entire bodies and selves; it is emotionally charged and ingrains itself deeply. Birth is at once miraculous and earthly, wild and gentle, strong and vulnerable, normal and weird, natural and supernatural, bloody and beautiful. In the end, it is the way that God intentionally designed to transform us into mothers. Birth matters deeply to us as women.
The experience of birth stays with a woman forever — not necessarily every specific detail surrounding the birth, but on a deeper, much more intuitive level — how she felt, how she was made to feel, how she was treated, how well-prepared she was for the complicated emotions surrounding the arrival of this baby, how it changed her and gave her confidence in her motherhood — or perhaps the exact opposite. Each birth leaves an imprint on a woman’s body, mind, heart, and soul. She is changed. We are complete persons, so what affects one aspect of our person affects everything else — physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. We have the opportunity to choose to invite the One who planned it all in the first place to saturate every part with grace before, during, and after birth.
In this book we will talk about why the act of birth is so powerful, why it is such a deep and important moment in a woman’s (and man’s!) life, and what God might have to do with it all. We’ll learn why having a deeper understanding of our births is not “over-spiritualizing” but recognizing the truth of who we are, body and soul, and who God is. We’ll share examples of how we as women can cooperate with the way that God designed birth to transform our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls. We’ll hear from real women who have experienced profound grace through their births, and those who have allowed their faith to integrate their pregnancy, births, and motherhood deeply. We’ll walk through some of the options you will likely have so that you can make the best decisions in your own unique circumstances. In opening ourselves to God’s plan for each one of us, we open ourselves to the possibility of a beautiful, transformative, happy, healthy, and, yes, even holy birth for ourselves and our babies.
God’s Plan for Your Birth
Whether a woman is Catholic, Christian, or of no religion at all, she is physically the same as any other woman, and the baby certainly seems to come out the same way regardless! The physical movements and techniques, physiological aids, medical choices, possibly everything on the outside may look similar.
So what might be different when we speak of birth from a perspective of faith?
Drawing from her faith, a woman can seek to honor the design and plan of the Creator, in whatever way that means in her unique circumstances. We have a God who desires to be intimately involved in each of our lives and who has a beautiful and unique plan for each of his daughters. He loves each one of us infinitely and eternally. That same God, so in love with each one of us, wants to be invited to play a part in the most important and transforming moments of our lives, including our experience of birth.
The mystery of love and the rich tradition of the faith can penetrate your unique birth and transform it into something holy. When our lives and souls are transformed through baptism, every aspect of our lives becomes a conduit for real and living grace. It seems entirely appropriate to expect that something so profound and intimate as the birthing process can be infused with that grace. These moments so intimately tied to our God-given vocations as wives and mothers can especially be part of God’s plan to work in our lives and draw us closer to him. The same God who has concerned himself with the number of hairs on your head and who has searched your being and knows when you sit and stand is certainly concerned with you as you birth one of his sons or daughters.1 He doesn’t walk us through conception and pregnancy only to leave us at the door of the delivery room. Nothing is outside his reach and dominion and care. We can see his hand in all of it and ask him to be intimately involved in our pregnancies and births.
There is a temptation to compartmentalize the parts of our lives that don’t feel or look holy (because sometimes our understanding of holy has been distorted) from our relationship with God. Some people may feel that God wants nothing to do with that “birthy stuff.” Some may cling to the idea that birth is purely a physical or medical process — get in, get it over with, and get on with more important things. Perhaps some feel pressured by the erroneous belief that a holy or Christ-centered birth should look or feel a certain way, and that turns them off. But none of these are truly valid reasons to write off the reality that God can be — wants to be — a part of your unique birth.
We have a choice to make as women approaching our births. We can enter into it as something to get through, knuckles clenched and eyes squeezed shut, wanting it to be over as quickly as possible, seeing it as a flawed and dreadful design for meeting our babies. Or we can enter into it with hearts a bit more open, viewing it as the incredibly intelligent design of God himself, the way that he, our loving Father, mindfully and intentionally chose to build a family and transform his daughters into mothers.
I believe God wants to come with us into each pregnancy and birth and do something powerful. Whether it’s your first baby or your twelfth, no matter what kind of pregnancy and birth he calls you to have, no matter your circumstances, his grace is present and available in extraordinary amounts. He wants to transform you and draw you deeper into his mystery of love right now, with this pregnancy and birth, in a way that speaks to your unique heart. God gives us the choice to work with his grace and answer the invitation to see our pregnancies and births from an eternal
