to drugs, alcohol, or sex; etc. — was present at the time of the wedding, then the sacramental marriage may be invalid. In circumstances such as this, one or both spouses may start the process to obtain a declaration of nullity, commonly referred to as an annulment. An annulment is not a Catholic divorce. The annulment process is about determining whether a valid marriage occurred on the wedding day. If it is determined that the marriage was invalid, both parties are free to marry again, as if for the first time.
We cannot overlook the important fact that sacramental marriage is good for both the state and all of society. The Church is not the enemy; she is the best friend of the civil power and the guardian of civil society:53
Marriage also can do much for the good of families, for, so long as it is conformable to nature and in accordance with the counsels of God, it has power to strengthen union of heart in the parents; to secure the holy education of children; to temper the authority of the father by the example of the divine authority; to render children obedient to their parents and servants obedient to their masters. From such marriages as these, the State may rightly expect a race of citizens animated by a good spirit and filled with reverence and love for God, recognizing it their duty to obey those who rule justly and lawfully, to love all, and to injure no one.54
In concluding this heartfelt letter, Pope Leo offered some additional fatherly advice. Again, his words may fly in the face of our politically correct culture, but many married couples would attest to the fact that there is wisdom here. Leo wrote:
Care also must be taken [not] to easily enter into marriage with those who are not Catholics; for, when minds do not agree as to the observances of religion, it is scarcely possible to hope for agreement in other things. Other reasons also proving that persons should turn with dread from such marriages are chiefly these: that they give occasion to forbidden association and communion in religious matters; endanger the faith of the Catholic partner; are a hindrance to the proper education of the children; and often lead to a mixing up of truth and falsehood, and to the belief that all religions are equally good.55
This was not meant to be uncharitable. Rather, it came from a place of experience from one who had studied the human condition nearly all his life and took seriously his obligation to pastor the people of God. That being said, “with God all things are possible” (Mt. 19:26). This may be the perfect opportunity for the Catholic spouse to delve deeper into the Faith, and in doing so to fall ever more in love with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, so that when and if the time comes, he will be prepared to defend the hope that is within him with gentleness and reverence.
Pope Leo XIII’s foretelling of the pain and personal destruction that would surely come with relaxed divorce laws was truly prophetic. Today we live in a culture where divorce has become a common tragedy. In his book Defending Marriage, Anthony Esolen captures it all too well:
Whole networks of human relations [have been] torn asunder; husband from wife, parents from children, aunts and uncles from their nieces and nephews … all of that web of meaning and belonging, extending far into the past and future, untimely ripped, battered, or severed forever, to satisfy the “needs” (… nearly always selfish) of the divorcing adults.
[Divorce] has touched every family in the nation. Who does not know at least one family whose children require an essay merely to describe who under their roof is related to whom and how?56
The tragedy of divorce is not just what it does to marriages, but what it does to all of society. If the family, the cornerstone of society, is not solid, then nothing is solid. Things that were once enduring have become transient, and all relationships are merely temporary. If a spouse cannot be trusted, everyone (and everything) is suspect.
Marriages suffer today not because modern society listened to the Church. Instead, marriages are suffering precisely because society did not listen to the Church. Now, nearly 140 years after this encyclical, we are living with the consequences of not heeding the Church’s warnings about marriage.
Despite this, we are a people of hope. We believe in tomorrow, and we know that our God is a merciful God. In fact, Pope Francis never tires of speaking about the mercy of God. In his book The Church of Mercy, he reminds us, once again, that God is always waiting for us to come back and start again:
Maybe someone among us here is thinking, my sin is so great, I am as far from God as the younger son in the parable, my unbelief is like that of Thomas; I don’t have the courage to go back, to believe that God can welcome me and that he is waiting for me, of all people. But God is indeed waiting for you. He asks of you the courage to go to him.
How many times in my pastoral ministry have I heard it said, “Father, I have many sins”; and I have always pleaded: “Don’t be afraid, go to him, he is waiting for you, he will take care of everything.” We hear many offers from the world around us, but let us take up God’s offer instead: his is a caress of love.57
Chapter One Reflection Questions
“Socialism” has broad and powerful appeal still today, yet, under socialist regimes in the past century, millions of people have lost both their rights and their lives. What is the reason for its appeal? Why has it not worked in practice?
How were families affected by the Industrial Revolution, for better and for worse?
Pope Leo XIII positively rejected Marx and his socialist ideas because of their adverse effects on the family. In fact, in 1878 he wrote an entire encyclical entitled Quod Apostolici Muneris (on socialism) about this. In what ways does Marx’s ideology harm the family?
How has divorce affected your life or your family’s life? Have you sought healing for any wounds you have suffered or caused?
Alone, the individual is not the bedrock of society. Rather, it is the family that is the foundation of all of society. Why is this so?
With the legalization of same-sex “marriages,” we can no longer look at civil and religious marriages as a single entity; the ties between the two have almost completely unraveled. Today, some are calling for a separation of sacramental marriage from civil marriage, as is the practice in Mexico and much of Europe. Others protest this idea, claiming that if Church weddings are separated from the civil sphere, they are worthless. So, where does the Church go from here?
Chapter Two
Back to the Garden
Pius XI, Casti Connubii
Wars and Rumors of Wars
Someone once said that all the sins of the world can be traced back to the first three chapters of the Book of Genesis and the Garden of Eden. Without pondering on the happenings that occurred then, it is difficult to understand the heartbreak of the twentieth century. The century didn’t start out as a century of violence, social upheaval, and heartbreak. In fact, most people woke up on January 1, 1900, with a song in their hearts. Coloring everything was an energy, an optimism, and a feeling of confidence.
The nineteenth century had changed the world beyond anyone’s wildest dreams, and there was every expectation that the twentieth century would “prove to be the best this ever-improving planet had ever seen.”58 But something went terribly wrong, and the twentieth century would prove to be the bloodiest century in history — fulfilling Pope Leo XIII’s vision in 1884. There were wars and rumors of wars (see Mt 24:6), including the most insidious war of all, the war on the family.
In this chapter, we will skip
