church is supporting the mushrooming provision of Church stands at wedding shows. It’s all part of a plan to reach a ‘hypocritical’ generation with the good news of unqualified acceptance.
Back to your bride at the end of the phone. How is she? She is serious about marriage and God. But she is inexpert and wordless, feeling hypocritical, disqualified and uneasy. The obstacles she has overcome to pick up the phone and wait until you answer it are great. She is a heroine, a person of extreme courage. And she is about to be the recipient of great news.
The spirit of Marriage Law
You may think you are well versed on the law of England as far as eligibility for a church wedding goes, and the right way to set fees and charges. Even so, you may feel surprised at some of what follows, you may even feel repentant. If you do not feel repentant then you may be required to repent. But if you are well versed in these matters, then what follows will at least reassure you.
The Weddings Project uncovered that even the most seasoned parish priest can be holding on to errors passed down over the years. Some church people can get confused about exactly what is determined by statute and what by local practice. And marriage law does sometimes change. Indeed, it has just undergone something of a revolution. And the law on fees has been under review too. Add to this the fact that most people get engaged at New Year or on Valentine’s Day. Vicars told us that these seasons are more likely to be times when they may not have done a wedding for a while. So, it’s easy to get rusty. On such occasions, it’s always good to know where to start. Let’s start with the spirit of the law:
The Church of England is not a religious club for members. Its sacraments and services are for all the people of England.
In the case of a wedding you will know that this means that any engaged person who has not been married before has a legal right to marry in the church of the parish in which they live. Apart from a couple of very rare exceptions, this basic right is absolute. It is not conditional on their being baptised, on their churchgoing prowess or even on their readiness to say that they are Christian. As long as they are content to make the promises contained in the marriage service and they haven’t already made them to someone else, if they are a parishioner of yours then you are obliged to welcome their wedding.
Now of course, this might mean that people will be marrying in your church while at the same time believing all sorts of mixed up things about Jesus and his divinity, reincarnation, angels, yoga and Sunday shopping. It doesn’t matter. In these matters the law speaks of a Church of England which is big on grace. Even if one or both parties is divorced with a previous partner still living, the General Synod accepts their marriage in church at the vicar’s discretion and has done so since 2002. Clergy make that call in the light of House of Bishops’ advice. Couples with divorce in their story do sometimes write to the Church of England via the website www.yourchurchwedding.org and ask for a list of churches in their area that will marry divorcees. We always reply that each couple’s story is different and your vicar will want to talk to you about yours. Many clergy speak of the particular privilege of ministry with couples who have known the pain of divorce and want God to help them start again.
So there is a fundamental right to a church wedding. It may be not well known in England today, but that does not take away from the truth of it. It means that, churchgoer or not, your local church is open to you, and you are welcome to this sacrament without promise of improvement. It is an impulse very close to a statement attributed to Archbishop William Temple, that the Church of England is the organisation that exists for people not its members.
The Weddings Project’s research did find new evidence about couples’ seriousness about God. This is true. However, being serious about God is not a legal requirement, and you cannot legally put anything in the way of couples except the demands of the law.
The Marriage Measure
Following a period of dramatic and sustained social mobility in England, Church leaders began to wonder if the law was actually causing them to turn away more people than they were marrying. People who moved away from a parish were instantly barred from marrying there. People whose parents or grandparents were married in a church had no consequent right to celebrate their wedding there too. It became evident that the law was too restrictive, and so the Church took the initiative to reform it.
In doing so it extended the basic parishioner’s right in an amendment the like of which has not been seen since marriage law itself was first framed. This added seven new ways to marry in a church where you do not live. These are set out in full at Find a Church at www.yourchurchwedding.org.
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