time. Friends and family, the circle of people who know the capabilities of new parents, can be good at providing encouragement.
It's important for parents to find people who listen without judging, whether they're friends or professionals. People who work with parents of colicky babies hear the stories of parents who are at their wits’ end. They hear stories of bone-wearying nights of pacing, of a midnight walk in a stroller or ride in a car seat to induce calmness. They hear confessions: I get worked up and I'm not capable of soothing her. She feels my heart racing. She hears me crying. They hear parents say things they're not supposed to admit: I know I'm supposed to love him, but honestly, sometimes I feel that I don't even like him. Parents need objective support, not harsh judgments.
“We take a lot of time to hear their stories,” says Murrah of Erikson Institute's Fussy Baby Network. “We don't dismiss anything a parent says.” They get SOS calls from multimillionaire parents and from housing project parents, from mothers who breast-feed and mothers who bottle-feed, from biological parents and parents who have adopted their infants. Parents of all stripes may experience the plight of sleeplessness, a lack of positive feedback from their infant, and the disappointment of limited gratification for their efforts.
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