Doing the Best I Can. Kathryn Edin
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Praise for Doing the Best I Can
“This book smashes the stereotype of poor dads as the ‘hit and run’ or ‘deadbeat’ men who care only about casual sex and have no interest in the resulting kids. It is also unflinchingly honest about the sometimes egregious behavior of the men. Its poignant narratives and astute analysis make it the book to read on poor fathers.”
—Paula England, New York University
“I am confident that this book will instantly become the leading source of information on the nature of unwed fatherhood today. It shows a new path of intimate life for unwed young men, suggesting that marriage is no longer central in low-income young adults’ intimate partnerships. It is an eye-opener, a detailed portrait we have not seen before.”
—Andrew Cherlin, Johns Hopkins University
DOING THE BEST I CAN
DOING THE BEST I CAN
FATHERHOOD IN THE INNER CITY
KATHRYN EDIN AND
TIMOTHY J. NELSON
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA PRESS
BERKELEYLOS ANGELESLONDON
University of California Press, one of the most distinguished university presses in the United States, enriches lives around the world by advancing scholarship in the humanities, social sciences, and natural sciences. Its activities are supported by the UC Press Foundation and by philanthropic contributions from individuals and institutions. For more information, visit www.ucpress.edu.
University of California Press
Berkeley and Los Angeles, California
University of California Press, Ltd.
London, England
© 2013 by Kathryn Edin and Timothy J. Nelson
Portions of chapter 3 were first published in Kathryn Edin, Timothy Nelson, and Joanna Miranda Reed, “Daddy, Baby; Momma Maybe: Low-Income Urban Fathers and the ‘Package Deal’ of Family Life,” in Social Class and Changing Families in an Unequal America, edited by Paula England and Marcia Carlson (Palo Alto: Stanford University Press, 2011), 85–107.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Edin, Kathryn, 1962–
Doing the best I can : fatherhood in the inner city / Kathryn Edin and Timothy J. Nelson.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-520-27406-8 (cloth : alk. paper)
eISBN 978-0-520-95513-4
1. Unmarried fathers—United States. 2. Single fathers—United States. 3. Fatherhood—United States. 4. Poor children—United States. I. Nelson, Timothy Jon. II. Title.
HV700.7.E35 2013
362.82’940973—dc232012030147
Manufactured in the United States of America
21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of ANSI/NISO Z39.48–1992 (R 2002) (Permanence of Paper).
TO LAURA LEIN AND LINDA MELLGREN,
WHO INSPIRED THIS WORK, AND TO THE
110 MEN WHO SHARED THEIR STORIES
CONTENTS
Photographs
Acknowledgments
Introduction
1. One Thing Leads to Another
2. Thank You, Jesus
3. The Stupid Shit
4. Ward Cleaver
5. Sesame Street Mornings
6. Fight or Flight
7. Try, Try Again
8. The New Package Deal
Appendix
Notes
References
Index
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Doing the Best I Can is a deeply collaborative work; though the authors’ names appear in alphabetical order, Edin and Nelson contributed equally to the project. After the years of data collection in Camden and Philadelphia, we spent hundreds of hours discussing the research and our findings, trading chapters and paragraphs so frequently that it is now impossible to determine who wrote what sentence of the book. Favorite writing venues included Peet’s Coffee in Evanston, Infusion in Philadelphia, Lord Tyler’s House and the Fells Grind in Baltimore, and especially the coffee shops along Second Minjiang Road, Qingdao, China.
This research was funded by the William T. Grant Foundation, which not only covered the research costs but also paid the rent on a small apartment in the Rosedale section of Camden, NJ, so we could live there part-time. Additional funding came from the Institute for Policy Research at Northwestern University.
Andrew Cherlin, Stefanie DeLuca, and Paula England read multiple drafts of this manuscript and offered many valuable suggestions and insights. Monica Bell, Matthew Desmond, Jamie Fader, Sarah Halpern-Meekin, Barbara Kiviat, James Quane, Laura Tach, Kristin Turney, Julie Wilson, Holly Wood, and an anonymous reviewer also offered comments, pointed out errors, and sharpened our thinking. Early versions of this work benefited from the feedback from members of the MacArthur Network on the Family and the Economy: Jeanne Brooks-Gunn, Lindsay Chase-Lansdale, Cecilia Contrad, Paula England, Nancy Folbre, Irwin Garfinkel, Sara McLanahan, Ronald Mincy, Robert Pollak, Timothy Smeeding, and Robert Willis. Lisa Adams, our agent, and Naomi Schneider, our editor, offered vital assistance and a wealth of practical advice. Responsibility for errors and oversights, however, is our own.
Amy Abraham, Antwi Akom, Susan Clampet-Lundquist, Rebecca Kissane, David Mitchell, Jennifer Morgan, Shelley Shannon, Eric Shaw, and Kimberly Torres assisted in data collection. Jennifer Augustine, Steve Augustine, Susan Clampet-Lundquist, Heidi Hiemstra, Kathryn Linnenberg, Rechelle Paranel, and Verity Sandell coded the data.
In Camden Sam Apple, Jodina Hicks, Bruce Main, Mary Ann Merion, Jay Rosen, and Shelley Shannon helped us to learn about the city and its history. Shelley and Jay were also our landlords, providing the small apartment on the first floor of their Camden home.
Drew and Leah Hood spent several weeks photographing the fathers and children who appear on the