Again, older people, especially longtime friends who do not see each other often, will typically bow deep and long as a way of expressing deeply felt emotions. When such bows involve old friends, they are the Japanese equivalent of a warm embrace.
It is still common in many Japanese companies for man agers in sections and departments to make a variety of announcements or a short speech each morning to the assembled employees, at the end of which all perform the traditional cho-rei (cho-ray-ee), or “morning bow.”
9
Shaking Hands the Japanese Way
The Western custom of shaking hands has been widely accepted in Japan—but although done in virtually all segments of Japanese society, it has not replaced the traditional bow or reduced the bow’s overall importance.
Many Japanese use a smooth combination of bowing and shaking hands. There are, however, specific situations when the bow takes precedence over the handshake. These include formal events, especially those involving groups of people and dignitaries when shaking hands with each individual is not practical.
Seemingly all Japanese people, including women, now automatically shake hands with foreigners. They may also combine a handshake with a bow when meeting foreigners for the first time, especially if they are interested in establishing a business relationship with them. In this case the bow serves to demonstrate additional politeness and sincerity. However, Japanese generally dispense with the bow altogether when meeting someone they know or during informal and casual occasions.
A major faux pas when meeting someone in Japan is to grab their hand, clamp it firmly and give it a good, vigorous shake. In the West, a firm handshake is a sign of friendliness and a positive attitude. This isn’t really the case in Japan, nor in the rest of Asia. The handshake is not indigenous to this part of the world, and so some people, particularly the older generation, continue to feel a bit uncomfortable with it. Many Japanese, usually the ones without a lot of overseas work experience, will offer a relatively weak handshake, which nonetheless should never be taken for aloofness or anything else negative.
The best approach when shaking hands is to “test the waters” in the first nanosecond or so of the engagement. In other words, just as your hands make contact, try to determine the firmness of your partner’s grip and then respond with similar pressure.
Of course, when someone offers his or her hand immediately, it is perfectly all right to take it. However, you should try to have the presence of mind to do it the Japanese way, instantly following the other person’s lead if he or she begins reaching for a name-card instead of extending a hand.
A growing number of Japanese in international business are totally familiar with Western behavior. They do not bow to foreigners or expect foreigners to bow to them. The behavior of these individuals is obvious enough that the question of whether or not to bow never comes up.
10
The Protocol of Seating
As already noted, Japanese society was traditionally arranged vertically, with superiors placed over inferiors in a hierarchy of ranks that extended from the emperor above to the lowest commoner below. Gradations were minutely defined and separations were meticulously maintained. The seating and line-up of people demonstrated such things as class, rank, age, and gender.
In any situation involving two or more people, the senior or ranking individual took, or was given, the seat of honor. This, of course, is a custom in virtually all societies, but as usual in Japan it was carried to an extraordinary length.
In any semiformal situation, from a photo session to a casual meeting in a coffee shop, restaurant, or company conference room, a Japanese group will typically sort itself out according to real or perceived rank and give the kami-za (kah-me-zah), or “seat of honor,” to the ranking person or guest. When there are foreign visitors in the group, one of the Japanese will invariably assume a leadership role and direct them to the seats regarded as appropriate for their rank and the occasion.
In any room, the place of honor is usually the seat (or desk or table) that is farthest from the entrance and located at what might be called the “head” of the room. In a room with a window or windows on only one side, that side is generally designated as the head of the room. The seats of honor should face the door or entrance.
There is also a position of honor in an elevator (in the center nearest the back wall), in a car (the backseat behind the driver), at a head table (in the center of the table away from and opposite the door), in a train coach (the window seat or the center seat), in the first-class cabin of an airplane (a window seat about mid-cabin, on the right side away from the door), when walking with a group (the center of the group), and so on.
When your hosts are Japanese, it is proper to let them designate where you should sit. It is very improper to take the initiative and seat yourself in the place of honor, as ignorant visitors sometimes inadvertently do. If you are the host, it is very important that you direct the ranking Japanese guest to the seat or place of honor and not accept any show of reluctance on his or her part, even if you have to use some degree of playful force.
In fast-food restaurants, chain coffee shops, or other casual spots, one practice sometimes considered selfish in the West but perfectly acceptable in Japan is to put a personal object on an available chair right after entering and before ordering, so that no one else can take your seat.
11
Dining Etiquette
Perhaps no other area in the lives of ordinary Japanese has been more carefully prescribed or ritualized than the simple process of eating. As a result of the overall cultural emphasis on defining, classifying, categorizing, and systemizing everything, the early Japanese turned the preparation, presentation, and consumption of food into a ritualized experience that was both aesthetic and culinary.
Meals at the imperial court, at the court of the shogun, in the castles of the provincial lords, in the homes of ranking samurai, in Buddhist temples, at traditional inns, and in the homes of well-to-do merchants were exquisite exercises in stylized service and beautiful blends of colors, textures, and tastes as carefully choreographed as a Kabuki play.
The beauty of the food, the artistic complement of the table-ware, the formal manner of the service, and the proper dining etiquette were considered among the highest levels of cultural expression, indicative of one’s character and refinement.
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