to the couple, I recommend that they stop when they hear bells and remember their commitment to each other. The bells of our lives offer reminders of the preciousness of life, the sacredness of the moment, and the value of each other.
Ideally your practice will reach the point where no sound is necessary, and just the thought or sight of your loved one is enough to cause you to pause and be mindful of your relationships. At those times, stop and take a breath, enjoy the present moment, and heed the call to mindfulness.
“Tenple bells stop but the sound keeps coming out in the flowers”
—Basho
Gratitude
Every day presents countless opportunities to stop and appreciate the moment. When such a moment arises, reflect on all the people and gifts that have made that moment possible, and be grateful for them. Gratefulness keeps us in the present moment. Theologian Meister Eckhart said, “If the only prayer we ever said was ‘Thank you,’ it would suffice.” My favorite simple practice is to stop and be present with everyone who offers a service, such as the clerk at the post office, the barista at the coffee shop, or the gas station attendant. I offer a genuine smile and say, “Thank you for being here and for your wonderful service.”
Calming
Another function of meditation and a key to developing mindfulness is focusing, which is best developed by calming ourselves. I tend to find it easier to stop and much more challenging to calm and quiet my busy mind. One of the most powerful things we can do to strengthen the “muscle” of our attention and mindfulness is to return to what we are doing over and over again throughout the day. Try not to get frustrated, and remember the words of St. Francis de Sales, “Even if you bring yourself back 1,000 times, it will be worth it.” Calming strengthens our concentration by focusing on something repetitively, such as our breath, mantras or short phrases, prayers and flowers. Calming will also help us recognize and become aware of feelings and bodily sensations when they arise. As we become quiet we then have the opportunity to embrace these feelings.
When we are calm we learn to recognize what is happening in the present moment. In this state we can deeply experience this moment through our sense and feelings and learn to accept this moment as it is. The recognition of one breath is often enough to bring us back, help us focus, and strengthen our ability to concentrate.
You practiced stopping earlier. This time, stop and place your attention on something. Focus on the senses—truly note what you are seeing and hearing. Focus on your breath—experience fully the in-breath and out-breath, and continue doing this for a few minutes. Notice that as you focus on something, just for a moment, other thoughts and worries naturally recede and the mind becomes calmer. Whatever your point of our focus, be it our senses or the person we are with, focusing can help us to calm ourselves.
Looking Deeply
In stopping and calming, we have learned to become more relaxed and mindful in the present moment. At this point we have the concentration needed to look deeply, and discover and understand the source of our current feelings. This process will be invaluable as we explore the various seeds in the garden of our consciousness. “Hello, Anger. Where did you come from? Why are you here at this time?”
In looking deeply we will also discover in the ones we love the reasons they are suffering, and we will be able to clearly see that their suffering is also our suffering. By using mindfulness, you will discover ways to look deeply at the seeds that need tending within yourself and others.
Practices to Develop Mindfulness
We need a variety of practices to deepen this skill and strengthen the habit energy of mindfulness, just as we need a variety of exercises to strengthen our bodies. These practices can be easily integrated into our daily life, affording us moments to remember, stop, calm, and return to the present moment.
MINDFUL BREATHING
Breathing in, I calm my body; breathing out, I smile.
Our life begins with breath and ends with breath. The average individual takes nearly 20,000 breaths each day. By stopping to practice conscious breathing at different times during the day, we are able to calm ourselves with the awareness of our in-breath and out-breath, inhalation and exhalation. In this practice, mind and body are connected, and the word “respiration” takes on its root meaning—to “re-spirit.” By dwelling in each moment with breath as our anchor, we cultivate the energy and seed of mindfulness. When practicing mindful breathing, thoughts subside, the energy of mindfulness is encouraged, and we return instantly to fully experiencing the present moment.
MINDFUL WALKING
The practice of mindful walking is simply that of learning to be aware of each step you take. We often walk with little awareness, our mind focused on getting somewhere and often getting there quickly. The challenge in mindful walking is to walk knowing that you are walking. You bring your walking into your awareness so that walking itself becomes a form of meditation. Each step brings us back to our breath and the present moment. It is the bridge between the formal practice of meditation and informal activity of everyday life. When we walk only briefly in this way, we are reminded that our life is a walk. The more we become aware of our steps, the more we find peace along the way.
ANSWERING THE PHONE
Our technology-laden world offers countless possibilities to cultivate mindfulness. Cell phones, office phones and other bells can become invitations to stop, breathe, smile, and calm before engaging in dialogue. For example, when the phone rings, you could say a mantra before answering, such as, “Breathing in, I calm my body; breathing out, I relax.” My wife and I have a practice of stopping to breathe every time our Westminster-style chime strikes on the hour. Our answering machine message greets callers with, “Breathe and smile! You have reached the Brazas.” These and other simple, daily, focused actions enhance the energy of mindfulness.
MINDFUL EATING
This simple practice focuses on the total enjoyment of your meal. Taking time to eat quietly for ten minutes before talking can offer a refuge of peace and time to appreciate the food. Slowing down long enough to recognize how many hands brought this food to our plates helps us to be truly grateful for this meal. With this sense of gratitude, the entire meal is the blessing. In every bite we have the opportunity to cultivate mindfulness by recognizing the amount, taste, and nourishment this food is providing our bodies. Being mindful of each bite and eating more slowly can also be an effective weight-loss plan and an antidote to careless eating.
“Engaging in mindful eating, even if only for a few minutes, can help you recognize how the practice of mindfulness encompasses all spheres and activities, including ordinary tasks.”
—Thich Nhat Hanh
UNI-TASK VS. MULTI-TASK
