amounts of cream cheese mixture on each tortilla. Sprinkle all the other ingredients over the cream cheese. Roll each tortilla up as tightly as possible. Using a sharp knife, cut the roll into vertical circles about a quarter inch thick. The slices are pretty spirals, and look nice alone, but a light sprinkling of paprika or perhaps a bit of parsley would look great. Make hot sauce available for dipping.
Devastating News
I tried calling M a bunch of times after dinner, but it kept going to voicemail. Between calls I made a starter for Friendship Bread, which I plan to give to Nicki and M in ten days (that’s how long it takes before you can bake with it). I hit redial between each step of the recipe. Making the bread starter is comforting. I also e-mailed M, with an automatic reply to let me know if she had opened it, and so far she hasn’t. It’s 9:30, and I am seriously tired. This day has been so long. Plus, I didn’t get much sleep last night. I need to crash. I am fantasizing about my bed at this point, but I am still worried about M. Once my bread starter is finished and I have cleaned up, I am going to call Nicki to see if she has heard anything.
Nicki answers the phone on the first ring. Her baby brother is probably sleeping.
“Hi, Air,” Nicki speaks softly.
“Hey. I know your mom doesn’t like us calling after nine, so tell her sorry, but M hasn’t called me back. I’m worried. Her dad never just shows up.”
“I called her awhile ago and left a message too, but haven’t heard anything either.”
“It’s weird, don’t you think?”
Nicki thinks for a few seconds, then replies, “Well, if her dad did come for some reason, they probably went out. You know how he insists that M’s mom go out to show she’s doing better with the agoraphobia.”
“But this late?”
“Yeah, well, I don’t know. But we’ll find out tomorrow I guess. Look, Ariel, I gotta go, my mom’s already irritated about me being on the phone after nine.”
“Okay, sorry again. E-mail me if you hear anything though, okay? I’ll be up a little bit longer.”
“I will. But, Ariel, you know M would call you before she called me anyway.”
This is probably true. While we act like we are all equal friends, the truth is that M and I are closer because we have been best friends since we were little kids, and Nicki moved here the summer before fifth grade. We feel super close to her, but the shared history isn’t there yet. And Nicki is such a private person, sometimes it is hard to know what’s beyond the sweet part we always see.
Despite the way Nicki keeps to herself, I know she feels deeply about M and me, and I know it hurts Nicki sometimes when M and I talk about some story from years ago, before we knew Nicki. We try not to do that, but it does happen. Nicki is not the type to make us feel bad about it, though I have seen a look on her face sometimes, when M and I are remembering some funny thing from third grade or whatever. It’s a wishing kind of look. She never talks much about her past. It’s like her life started when she moved to Alameda.
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