Far Rockaway
waves
with grey hair
I remember that movie
where the actor known for comedy
wears a black jacket
is melancholy
in winter skips work
and rides the train past blackbirds
all day
far boroughs
and his own reflection
what awaits him
is a beach in winter
gulls and stone
in one scene
he just stands there
spinning
in another
a stranger with blue hair
peeks her head
above the train seat
they hate each other
sporadically
share a cigarette
and fall in love
I was sixteen and my heart hurt
to watch it
it made me want to be older
and lonesome
handsome
with brown hair
and an empty pier
a winter
where I could be alone
that year I read A Coney Island
of the Mind met Genevieve
mimicked my body
with pillows stuffed beneath my sheets
sneaking out to the lake
beneath a pink sky
she kissed me
silver clasp and vodka
yellow bra
falling off her shoulders
that actor
the last I heard
stopped being funny
grew a beard
voted
fell in love
with a woman
thin as a wing
who OD’d
a quiet suicide
of white pills
for two winters
I read Genevieve
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