is sometimes referred to as a “dark night of the soul,” originating from the title of a poem by sixteenth-century Spanish mystic and poet St. John of the Cross. On such occasions it's hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel, we feel overwhelmed by the darkness, and the future stretches bleakly before us. We find ourselves questioning the whole basis of our lives and whether there is any meaning and purpose in them.
Hope is the opposite of despair, and we need it because it helps us deal with our suffering, but how is it possible to coax hope from the embers of despair? We can start by reminding ourselves that the light is always there, even though we can't at the moment see it. There is never a time when dawn doesn't break or winter doesn't end. Hope is like the bird singing in the dark night, sensing the approach of the dawn light. When we accept that light is the other side of darkness, we are more able to face our dilemma. Nothing stays the same forever—things change, we change. We can turn things around and begin again, perhaps making something good out of the pain and turmoil we feel.
It may well take some time to accept and come to terms with what has brought us to this juncture, but that glimmer of hope in the darkness helps us find resources that we didn't know we possessed. We discover a different perspective that helps us deal with the situation. As Maya Angelou, the American poet, writer, and social rights activist, put so well, “God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us—in the dreariest and most dreaded moments—can see a possibility of hope.”
Once we have tasted hope, we can hold on to it, magnifying it while building a vision of something better. Hope makes the present less difficult to bear and gives us the energy to pursue our dream. Our dark night has been like a death and a rebirth, an awakening to a greater sense of meaning and purpose. Each new day we can cultivate a more expansive state of mind and enrich our lives with the prospect of a brighter future, one in which the essence of who we truly are is revealed, as spoken of by the Persian Sufi poet Hafiz:
I wish I could show you,
When you are lonely or in darkness,
The Astonishing Light
Of your own Being!
1. Turning things around
Let's imagine we've allowed the possibility of hope to surface. Perhaps the future can look different. Maybe all is not lost.
There's a story about a famous painting called The Chess Players (sometimes also called Checkmate and The Game of Life) by Friedrich Moritz August Retzsch. Probably painted in 1831, it used to hang in a public gallery but is now in private hands. The painting depicts two people playing chess, one of whom is Satan, the other a young man, possibly Faust, since Retzsch illustrated Goethe's Faust.
The chessboard appears to be placed on the lid of a sarcophagus, and a skull reminds us that death is never far away. Hope is also present in the form of a guardian angel, who watches over the young man. He looks forlorn, as if he knows the game is over and his soul is lost. Checkmate!
The story goes that a chess Grandmaster on a visit to the gallery spent a long time studying the positions of the chess pieces. Suddenly he cried out, “It's a lie. The painter is wrong. There is a way out. The king has another move.” The young man actually has the chance to defeat his deadly opponent. All is not lost!
However desperate a situation and however troubled we may feel, there is always hope. Just as stars in the sky are at their brightest when it's truly dark, so we can find hope in the darkness of despair. Whatever our pain and suffering, all is not lost. We have a choice; we can save ourselves: we can select hope and turn the situation around.
I remind myself that there is always hope, however dark things may seem.
I am choosing hope and turning the situation around.
I know that I possess the resources to deal with my problem.
2. Allowing inspiration to take hold
If we choose to rise above our circumstances and dare to hope that the future might be better, we need to feel inspired and focus on what lifts our spirits, rather than be brought down by the negative messages and depressing news stories that dominate our media. We need positive and hopeful encouragement. After all, as the Dalai Lama reminds us:
The very purpose of our life is happiness, which is sustained by hope. We have no guarantee about the future, but we exist in the hope of something better. Hope means keeping going, thinking, “I can do this.” It brings inner strength, self-confidence, the ability to do what you do honestly, truthfully and transparently.
We actually have a tool we can use to help us, one that is always with us—our breath. Inspire means to breathe into or blow upon, so inspiration is breathing into the mind or soul. Instead of focusing on those thoughts that make us feel hopeless, we can choose to focus on our breath instead. This simple act of connecting with the breath calms us and helps us feel more hopeful. As the basis of meditation and as a regular practice (see pp. 50–51), it can have enormously beneficial effects.
We can also turn to nature to inspire us. Modern life has somehow caused us to become disconnected from nature, yet we can choose to take a walk in a park or garden, along a river or canal, by the seashore—wherever we can take ourselves to so that we can be aware of the beauty of our surroundings. Allowing our senses to be uplifted by nature's sights, sounds, and scents enables us to forget our troubles for a while and recharges our batteries.
We might choose to listen to some uplifting music, go for a swim, have a massage, read an inspirational book, look at paintings in a gallery, cook something special, or do some gardening. Sometimes merely taking a long luxurious bath, washing our hair, and putting on fresh clothes and make-up can make a difference to our mood.
Affirmations help too, by changing our patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior. An affirmation is a strong positive statement, which can be general or specific. It has to be clear and concise and in the present tense, as if it already exists. We can affirm, for example: “The future looks brighter for me” rather than “The future will be brighter for me.” We can say the affirmations silently or out loud, or we can write them down. Making continuous positive statements and trying to believe an affirmation as much as possible helps shake off any negativity and restore some kind of balance in ourselves. While accepting what currently exists, we can see the possibility of creating something better for the future and therefore feel energized and more hopeful, even in the most difficult of situations.
I dare to hope the future is brighter.
Focusing on my breath, I am calmer and more balanced.
I seek to be nourished and inspired.
3. Vibrating at a higher frequency
Our universe consists of matter and energy. Matter is merely energy moving very slowly, which behaves at a quantum level like a wave. Energy is matter moving very rapidly, and it takes the form of a field with invisible lines of force. The universe is a constant translation of matter into energy and energy into matter, which is expressed through vibrations, waves, and fields. Everything in the universe vibrates, including us, and our emotions are also vibrations.
When we choose
