an individual’s interpretation of a situation
▸ Examining sympathetic feelings: For example, recognizing and describing sympathetic feelings and explaining how these feelings could motivate empathetic behaviors
▸ Practicing reading facial expressions: For example, identifying the feelings of subjects in photographs or artwork
To demonstrate being able to communicate an understanding of another person’s feelings, teachers might engage students in the following actions.
▸ Reflecting on their own language: For example, examining how often they ask questions of their fellow students as an opportunity to tell other students about themselves
▸ Focusing on how others’ actions affect them rather than placing blame: For example, using statements such as “I feel __________ when you __________” (see “I” Statements, page 104)
▸ Explaining empathic qualities: For example, explaining others’ positive actions using examples, such as “I knew you were paying attention to me because your response question built on my previous answer” and so on
▸ Reviewing reminders of appropriate communication: For example, referring to classroom procedures or classroom decorations that outline appropriate communication
In addition to these strategies, teachers can provide students with the following five steps that encourage empathic interactions with one another.
1. Watch & Listen: What is the other person saying, and what is his or her body language?
2. Remember: When did you feel the same way?
3. Imagine: How does the other person feel? And how would you feel in that situation?
4. Ask: Ask what the person is feeling.
5. Show You Care: Let him or her know that you care through your words and actions. (Taran, 2013)
As students are asked to practice empathic behaviors, they may find that these behaviors become more natural over time. Teachers should also model and reinforce empathy whenever possible to further strengthen students’ practice of it.
Forgiveness
The experience of forgiveness can also provide a direct connection to something greater than self. This connection occurs because forgiveness inherently requires individuals to think outside of themselves. Robert D. Enright and Richard P. Fitzgibbons (2000), in their empirical guide about the process of forgiveness, stated:
People, upon rationally determining that they have been unfairly treated, forgive when they willfully abandon resentment and related responses (to which they have a right), and endeavor to respond to the wrongdoer based on the moral principle of beneficence, which may include compassion, unconditional worth, generosity, and moral love (to which the wrongdoer, by nature of the hurtful act or acts, has no right). (p. 29)
As such, the nature of forgiveness makes it intrinsically challenging for most if not all individuals. When individuals do succeed in forgiving others, they often experience positive psychological and physical benefits (Enright & Fitzgibbons, 2000; Gassin, Enright, & Knutson, 2005; Luskin, Ginzburg, & Thoresen, 2005; Witvliet, Ludwig, & Vander Laan, 2001). For example, after observing the effects of forgiveness education in schools, Elizabeth A. Gassin, Robert D. Enright, and Jeanette A. Knutson (2005) posited that the reduction in anger stemming from forgiveness leads “to less depression and anxiety and to stronger academic achievement and more peaceful social behavior” (p. 321) among students.
Teachers should help students associate forgiveness with positive and powerful outcomes. To this end, teachers can lead students in discussions about times in their lives when they have forgiven or needed forgiveness from others. Teachers can also provide students with stories of forgiveness, whether personal or from books, movies, or history, as some stories of forgiveness are deeply moving. For example, consider the story of Mary Johnson and Oshea Israel.
In 1993, when Oshea Israel was sixteen, he shot and killed Laramiun Byrd, Mary Johnson’s only son. Although it might have been easier for Mary Johnson to remain angry at Oshea Israel, she chose a different path. During Israel’s prison sentence, Johnson reached out to her son’s killer, and the two agreed to meet. By the end of their initial meeting, both Johnson and Israel were overcome with emotion and Johnson felt she had sincerely forgiven Israel. Throughout Israel’s sentence, Johnson continued to visit Israel regularly, and the two built a strong relationship. After being released from prison, Israel moved next door to Johnson, and the two remained very close. Johnson and Israel regularly expressed love for the other, and Johnson often referred to Israel as her son. As Johnson put it, “Well, my natural son is no longer here. I didn’t see him graduate. Now you’re going to college. I’ll have the opportunity to see you graduate. I didn’t see him getting married. Hopefully one day, I’ll be able to experience that with you” (NPR Staff, 2011).
After presenting such a story and discussing its inspirational attributes, teachers can directly teach students about the process of forgiveness. For example, teachers could present the Enright Forgiveness Process Model (Enright, 2001) to their students, which identifies the following four phases of the forgiveness process.
1. Uncovering phase: Recognizing an offense and its associated negative consequences
2. Decision phase: Deciding to forgive
3. Work phase: Trying to reframe feelings about the offense or the offender
4. Deepening phase: Identifying the positives from the situation as a whole
Each phase in this model is further broken down into component actions. Teachers can explain the phases of the forgiveness process and actions taken during each using the prompts in table 2.3.
Gassin and colleagues (2005) noted that it is important to delve into the true nature of forgiveness to dispel common misconceptions about it:
Our group thoroughly reviewed philosophical work on forgiveness, which makes clear that forgiveness is offered from a position of strength…. Forgiveness does not make one weak or vulnerable; it should be confused neither with condoning (e.g., ignoring or subtly approving) an offense, nor with reconciliation (reestablishing a relationship with an offender). Forgiveness does not preclude moderate, limited expressions of anger or a search for reasonable redress of injustice. (p. 322)
After discussing forgiveness with students, teachers should directly address these common misconceptions. They can do this by asking students to differentiate between forgiveness, approval, and reconciliation, as well as to define appropriate and inappropriate responses to an offense. Teachers should be wary of forcing students to forgive one another after conflicts arise in class, as one can never mandate forgiveness. In other words, teachers can inform students of the forgiveness process and its benefits, but they should also make the distinction that practicing forgiveness is an individual choice in which students must decide to engage.
Table 2.3: Enright Forgiveness Process Model
| Phase | Associated Prompts |
| Uncovering phase | • Who hurt you?• How deeply were you hurt?• On what specific incident will you focus?• What were the circumstances
|
