Holistic Leadership, Thriving Schools. Jane A G. Kise

      What is your natural approach to a new role? More leadership? More listening? How does this tendency fit with your current environment?

The EQ Connection

      The key EQ areas for this lens are demonstrating empathy, being aware of others’ emotions, and employing the interpersonal skill of active listening. The following are a few key points about being aware of others’ emotions that pertain to this chapter.

      ♦ This kind of awareness takes time. It may mean pausing in meetings. Tim would remind staff “there is no awkward silence—just silence.” It may mean taking time before a meeting to consider how others may act and why, and then reflecting afterward on the accuracy of your predictions.

      ♦ Remember that emotions are data that may clarify patterns in resistance—the levels of support necessary in change, overall stress, the presence of initiative fatigue, and more. These data can be more crucial to reaching goals than any objective data.

      The following are a few key points on demonstrating empathy that pertain to this chapter.

      ♦ Remember that empathy involves not just understanding others’ emotions but grasping the root causes and using the information in a beneficial way.

      ♦ Overusing empathy can cause a leader to try to please everyone or to solve all their problems in ways that sabotage resilience and empowerment.

      ♦ Using empathy may nudge a leader to change a course of action or adjust how he or she communicates information. It doesn’t have to be wishy-washy.

      The following are a few key points on active listening that pertain to this chapter.

      ♦ Through brain-imaging studies, Dario Nardi (2011) finds that only 7–10 percent of people naturally listen well. The rest of us think ahead to what we are going to say or get caught up in silently critiquing what we are hearing. Don’t assume you’re in the 10 percent who are good listeners!