boys in the system than girls.
• Twenty-two percent of children in foster care were adopted.
• The average amount of time children waited to be adopted from foster care was 34.4 months.10
Despite the increase in older child adoption, too many older children languish in the foster care system for a number of years or age out of the system by the age of eighteen or twenty-one with few or no family or kinship connections. In 2012, 23,000 young adults aged out of the system without being adopted.11 Young adults who age out of the system without permanent family connections are less likely to graduate from high school, attend college, find a secure job or have stable relationships. They are more likely to become homeless, have children at a young age or become involved in criminal activity.
Some prospective adoptive parents may believe older teens are too old to be adopted. They fear older teens will not be able to adapt to a new family or will have ingrained and intractable behavior problems that cannot be addressed. While some older teens will have significant difficulties adapting to a permanent family after so many years “on their own,” for most it is not too late to benefit from having a stable, loving family for a lifetime.
Some teens who have been in foster care for many years also believe they are too old for adoption or that adoption will not make their lives any better. For The Urban Institute, Kate Chambers and colleagues explored some concerns and beliefs teens in foster care have about adoption, including:
• Adoption is only for young children.
• I will lose contact with my friends and biological family.
• I will have to follow too many rules in an adoptive home.
• Independent living will be easier and I’ll be free to do what I want.12
Many older teens in foster care miss out on the opportunity to be placed in a permanent adoptive home because they hold assumptions, many of which could be inaccurate, about what adoption will mean for them. Fortunately, agencies are doing more to convince older teens in foster care that adoption is still an option. Child-centered adoption practices, now being used by many agencies, prioritize the needs and concerns of older children in care. Older teens are asked what type of family would be best for them and the process of matching teens with prospective adoptive families is done with much careful thought and consideration.
CHOOSING AN AGENCY
After deciding to adopt a child from the US foster care system, you will need to choose an agency. First you must decide if you want to work with your public child welfare agency or with a private agency. Public child welfare agencies have the authority to investigate allegations of abuse and neglect, remove children from homes where they are at risk and place children in foster care. They also complete home studies and work with foster and non-foster parents interested in adopting children in care. Private adoption agencies generally are nonprofit (although there are some for-profit agencies out there—avoid them) and do not carry the same child protection responsibilities as public agencies; they do, however, conduct home studies and match prospective adoptive parents with waiting children.
Adoption agencies and organizations must be accredited by the state. To meet higher standards, some obtain voluntary accreditations such as those offered by the Council on Accreditation.
Virginia Volante-Appel, a Denver-based adoption professional with over thirty years of experience, advises prospective adoptive parents to choose an agency carefully. She writes, “Look at accredited agencies that have a good track record, find out what others’ experiences have been with that agency, visit your county and find out about fost-adopt; just learn as much as you can.”
Some of the benefits and disadvantages to working with public versus private agencies are:
In one study conducted by Ramona W. Denby et al, prospective adoptive parents who were comfortable with their agencies and trusted the information that they received from the agencies about waiting children experienced greater stability in their adoptive placements.14 Visit, or communicate by phone, with staff members from several prospective agencies. Agency staff generally will be happy to meet with you and answer any questions you have (if they’re not, don’t work with them).
Ask prospective agencies:
• About parent requirements (e.g. Sexual orientation, marriage status, religious background)
• About their application and pre-adoptive training requirements
• What types of children they place (e.g. Age, race, special needs, sibling groups, etc.)
• What subsidies might be available to you
• How they facilitate the adoptive parent/child match
• What post-placement services they can provide or refer for you
• What their fees are
• For references from several families with whom they have worked
Other adoptive parents can provide you with a wealth of information about specific agencies. Join an online discussion forum for adoptive parents and ask parents which agency they used and how their experience was. Some of the larger forums already have areas for prospective parents looking for agency recommendations.
Co-author Stephanie will never forget a visit she and her husband had with the director of an adoption agency that specializes in older child adoption, at his home. The man took the time to explain the adoption process, was honest about the challenges older adoptees face and the therapeutic services they may need and shared his own inspiring story about adopting a number of older children. One point he made about the need for adoptive parents of teens has stayed with Stephanie. He asked her and her husband to compare the amount of time they spent as children with the amount of time they have been adult children to their parents. Pointing out that time spent as an adult child is equal to, if not longer than, time spent as a child, he then asked in so many words—don’t you need your parents as much when you are an adult, albeit in different ways, as compared to when you were a child? His point was that teens, just as much as younger children, need the guidance of loving parents to see them through young adulthood and to love and support them all through life.
THE APPLICATION PROCESS
Some pre-adoptive parents feel they are being placed under a microscope. They wonder: “Why do I have to go through all this paperwork and preparation to become a parent, when people who are unprepared for parenthood can have children without any kind of evaluation?” Such feelings are understandable, especially when prospective adoptive parents have experienced the heartbreak of infertility or miscarriage. But there is another way of thinking about the situation: Adoptive parents receive guidance and preparation for parenthood that many biological parents never receive. They receive the support of adoption professionals and other adoptive parents. Engaging in the home study process affords adoptive parents time for introspection and time to think about their financial and emotional readiness for parenthood. This is support and preparation from which any parent would benefit.
A mother of four children adopted through her state’s public child welfare system had this advice for pre-adoptive parents beginning the application process: “Take your time. Expect that you will answer the same question
