about codependency.
“I’ve come too far for that, but I do—and always will—desire you.”
He wrote that his love for her must not be enough if he had decided to give her the letter after all. “If you’re reading this, it means I give up.”
He told Anita they would’ve been great together, but he wouldn’t live a lie with her. He wouldn’t live with a soul mate who saw him as nothing but “safe,” as she had once told him. He said they’d always be friends and he thanked her for helping him recover from being dependent on Monica.
Then he told her how saddened he was to realize she wasn’t joking when she told him the Saturday before he wrote the letter that she didn’t love him. When she went out with another man the next night, he realized she really meant she didn’t want the serious relationship that he wanted.
“I know how Monica felt at the end of our love, grasping for something that was dead, trying to hold onto love lost…I’ll miss your counsel, your feisty spirit and your body more than you know. But I guess it’s time to let you go.”
Paul told Anita to call him if he was wrong about her needing to be free. He wrote he’d never forgive her ex-husband for abusing her physically and emotionally to the point that she might not ever be able to handle a committed, serious relationship.
“I love you and always have since the day we first met and, as in the ruby you wear, you will always have a piece of my heart. This is not a ‘Dear Anita’ letter, it is a letter of freedom on your part, because I finally realize I can’t hold your hand and walk life’s path side by side with you. I’ll miss you and Josh deeply. Give him my love, for I do love and respect him immensely. Forever yours, Paul.”
The irony was that Paul mainly wrote the letter to get his feelings out. He wasn’t sure he would ever send it. He put the letter in the glove compartment of his truck, mistakenly assuming it would be safe from the scrutiny of others.
Meanwhile, Paul dropped what must have seemed to Monica to be like a nuclear bomb. The macho-on-the-outside, passive-on-the-inside man became assertive and began openly questioning the state of their marriage. “I’m doing all the giving in our relationship,” he said, “while you receive everything.” His defiant comments and questioning caused Monica’s suspicions to jerk and she started looking for reasons for the change in her husband.
She took to searching his things. She went through the pockets of his trousers and jackets hanging in the closet; she checked under the pile of shorts and T-shirts in his drawers; she rifled through the desk where he kept mail and bills. On March 7, not finding anything in the house, she checked his truck. After first running her hand underneath the seats, she popped open the glove compartment and swept the contents out onto the floor of the cab. Immediately, she found the letter to Anita. It was all she could do to restrain herself from ripping it open. Then, finding that the envelope wasn’t sealed, she carefully extracted the letter, sickened at the sight of Paul’s handwriting filling the pages. Words of love to another woman! The letter held her transfixed. Whether or not Monica missed the gist of the letter, which was that Paul intended to end the affair, she focused entirely on the word “love.” Paul loved Anita. That meant he didn’t love Monica. How could any man resist Monica? How could Paul love someone else when he had Monica? More than furious, she felt deserted and very much alone as she read about Paul’s secret life.
Little did Paul and Anita know, Monica had a secret life of her own.
Later on after she discovered the letter, Monica showed up at the Farmington bank where Anita worked as a loan officer. Anita immediately recognized her as Paul’s wife. She had some friends in tow and was looking intently around the bank lobby. When Monica spied Anita’s nameplate, the group headed her way.
She has a sense of purpose on her face like she’s on a mission, Anita thought. I hope this confrontation doesn’t get too ugly right here in front of my co-workers.
Monica looked beautiful that day. She had finally lost the weight she’d gained from her pregnancies and looked terrific in a softly tailored, tan jumpsuit, her makeup flawless.
“I’m Paul Dunn’s wife. I just wanted to meet the woman who’s breaking up my marriage,” she said, loudly enough for all those around to hear.
Monica blazed on while Anita tried to gather her thoughts. While she spoke, Monica fingered an enormous ruby heart she wore on a gold chain.
“Is yours as big as the one I’m wearing?” Monica had also found a bill from a jewelry store for a smaller ruby heart like the one she wore.
“I’m not sure I understand what you’re talking about,” Anita answered calmly.
She did, of course. Paul had given Anita a gift of a small ruby heart on a gold chain.
“How can you live with yourself being with another woman’s husband?” Monica screeched, not mincing words.
“I’m not with him. I’m not seeing him anymore,” Anita replied softly.
It was true, but Anita could tell that Monica didn’t believe her. Suddenly Monica stopped and looked around at the craned necks and fascinated faces. She seemed to have no more questions. She had already achieved her aim of creating a scene.
“I think you should talk to your husband,” Anita said quietly.
Just then a heavyset woman came out of another office. She had no idea what was going on at Anita’s desk, but her face brightened when she recognized Monica. She came over and said hello.
Monica gushed, “Oh, hello. It’s so good to see you, Nancy.” She glanced at her watch. “I’m sorry, I have to go now. Bye!”
With that, Monica and her friends strode out of the bank.
Relief spread throughout Anita’s tensed body as she slowly lowered herself to her chair. As she thought about it through the day and the entire scene sunk in, anger overtook her. She snatched up the telephone and called Municipal Court, asking to speak to Monica Dunn. She walked into my world; I can call her in her world, Anita fumed silently.
Monica was upset at the call and asked how Anita got the number, as if it were unlisted.
Anita spoke her piece. “I don’t have any designs on Paul. I’m not the reason he’s leaving you.”
The phone call was short and to the point. Monica was out-raged.
Afterward, though, Anita felt humbled, because she knew Monica was right. She had absolutely no business being with another woman’s husband.
Later, after Anita found out that Monica had had an affair while married to Paul, gotten pregnant and had an abortion, she fumed. “The monumental gall of that woman to come down on me.”
When Paul returned home that night, Monica confronted him and told him to leave. As always, he did as she said.
If Monica felt emotional turmoil, she masked it when she visited attorney Victor Titus, Paul’s friend. Soon after, she and Paul separated. She announced she was going to be seeking a divorce and contacting another lawyer who was not so close. She never made any claims of spousal abuse to Titus nor did she say anything about his affair or her own.
A few days later, Monica went to visit handsome Farmington Police officer Lawrence
