situational difficulties with greater ease and trust, and a sense of growing empowerment. There were deeply held unconscious beliefs that were unknowingly contributing to the problems in my life; meditation helped to bring these unconscious beliefs to the surface to be consciously addressed and released.
Here are the three levels of the mind that influence our lives:
1.The conscious mind is everything you are aware of and thinking about.
2.The subconscious mind consists of accessible information you can become aware of once you direct your attention to it; memory recall.
3.The unconscious mind includes unconscious beliefs, patterns, feelings, thoughts, urges, and memories that are outside of our conscious awareness where information is hidden and stored. Most of these contents are unacceptable or unpleasant, such as feelings of pain, anxiety, or conflict, which trigger automatic reactions according to stored memories.
Within each of us there is also a higher part that goes beyond our conscious awareness. This Higher Self always has access to and communicates with a higher, more expansive and intelligent Divine Consciousness that some refer to as God, the I AM Presence or something else. The Higher Self is the highest expression of your individual connection with the Divine Consciousness. It is greater than our conscious everyday self. It is part of you, yet more than you. It is in and of itself a part of the Divine Consciousness. Within the practice of quieting the mind and connecting with your Higher Self, you can access unconscious information from the highest part of yourself that is out of your conscious awareness.
Meditation is the “doorway” through which I was able to quiet my mind and access unconscious information from my Higher Self. Through meditation, higher information can be brought into our conscious awareness to identify the best course of action towards the highest outcome.
Consciousness is the state or quality of awareness, or of being aware of something within oneself; it is your experience of awareness. By establishing a sincere and inquisitive connection with my Higher Self, I made myself available to receive help, to have a glimpse of what is possible through states of higher consciousness and essentially grow through challenges.
During this time of ongoing meditation, I still had moments of feeling afraid of what could go wrong. However, little by little, fear played a less significant role in my life. It took several years, in fact, of deeply sincere and active participation in meditation, prayer, introspection, and study to no longer be ruled by fear and self-sabotaging patterns. Simply put, I had a lot of “unlearning” to do. I had to make an effort to uncover the hidden parts of myself which kept me attached to financial disarray and problematic situations. Every time I sat down in silence to meditate and connect with my Higher Self, I knew I was not alone, my efforts to become a better expression of myself were not in vain, and my intentions were held in grace.
I began to notice the ways in which meditation helped me to become aware of the ways in which I blocked the clear flow of inner guidance with constant thinking and worry, and my resistance to let go of that which I said I no longer wanted. I also began to notice how grace appeared in my life in simple and small, yet miraculous, outcomes. For example, the willingness of the property owner to work with us when we were behind on rent payments, the manner in which I was led to the exact work situation and professional environment that served as “fertile soil” to enhance my personal growth, and the like-minded individuals I met along the way were but a few examples of how grace unfolded. These experiences, in the manner and time in which they occurred, pushed me to thoroughly examine my self-sabotaging habits, beliefs, emotional patterns, and ways of perceiving and being in the world. It was not pretty to look at the mess I had orchestrated, but, when you sincerely want change, you can no longer hide. You won’t be allowed to hide because, in order to grow, you will have to take responsibility for everything in your life. Everything.
Now, years later, as I read the guidance, it makes perfect sense. I share this with you because I have come to see that although the guidance was pivotal for me and came through me, it is not solely meant for me. It is also meant for those who find themselves in similar situations of distress, and are open and willing to cultivate a connection with a higher consciousness to better discern where life is trying to lead them.
With repetition and simplicity, the guidance addressed the following themes of the human condition:
In addition to the loving energy I felt as the guidance came through, I began to feel a bit calmer each day. Over time, my mind began to interpret fewer situations as stressful. I was able to remain more centered and be less agitated by external events. I wasn’t as susceptible to being emotionally triggered into a state of fear, anxiety, anger, impatience, sadness, or depression. I did still experience these emotions. However, I became less and less pulled around by them. There was less agony and, instead, more openness to new possibilities.
Knowing that we can see ourselves in the stories of others, it is my sincerest wish that the guidance from these meditations is as helpful to you as it has been for me. It is my wish that you will grow to trust yourself; that you will trust the inner guidance that is available and within you. It is my hope that you will seek out the opportunities for personal growth that lie in mundane and long-term struggles, and come to know that nothing we experience in this life is futile. With hindsight, it becomes clear that struggle and triumph both serve a higher purpose for personal growth. And finally, it is my greatest hope that you too will have the courage to let your crisis become the catalyst that ultimately leads you onto your highest life path. So often it is said that “meditation helps” until it almost seems like a redundant Hallmark-ish cliché. I can honestly say this is absolutely true. Meditation does help. Meditation can help.
It began in a way many great ideas come about, over a dinner conversation; or at least what are hoped to be great ideas. It is a tranquil, sunny California afternoon. Dennis and I drive out to my parents’ house for Sunday dinner and to pick up Greyson and Mckenna. From the start, my mother isn’t merely interested in being Granny. She is interested in co-parenting. She wants to be a part of every single aspect of her grandchildren’s lives, including supporting a single-family housing situation for them.
At the time, Dennis and I live in a two-bedroom apartment. We want to buy a house, but the housing prices in Los Angeles are out of control. A single-family home in LA would sell for close to $600,000, and would likely require major renovations!
Although Dennis is doing extremely well with work, and our income is close to $80,000, we know we won’t qualify for a home loan. His credit history is okay, and mine consists of fickle “relationships” with Nordstrom, Citibank, Discover, and MBNA. Having been laid off two months after Mckenna was born, my income is one-third of my teacher’s salary and has an end date. I am receiving unemployment, which is available for a specific amount of time. Although we are having a decent year with income, we need a stronger financial story to be approved for a home loan.
While at my parents’ for dinner that afternoon, the inevitable conversation about the housing market and when we would purchase our first home comes up. Normally, I give Matt an I’m-not-sure-so-don’t-ask-me-any-questions type of answer, but, for some reason, I speak candidly. He, along with my mother, raised me since I was in the second grade. He was my biggest intellectual advocate, always encouraging me. He knows what’s going on with the housing market because this is what he loves to talk about—mortgages, interest rates, refinance rates, and home ownership—and today, I want to talk housing.
