Eating Your Heart Out. Meryl begins with a quiz to help you determine whether or not you have a problem. Then, ever so gently, she leads you into a provocative twenty-one-day program that teaches the difference between food and feelings. The focus of the program is not about weight loss but about learning to recognize when you're engaging in emotional eating, which Meryl believes is at the core of a binge eating disorder.
Most experts agree that eating disorders are caused by a combination of biogenetic, psychological, and socio-cultural factors. Meryl teaches us how to live in recovery. No matter what caused the disorder, what matters now is finding peace with our bodies, forming new identities, and becoming acquainted with our true selves.
Stop Eating Your Heart Out provides a step-by-step path to wellness using strategies that are designed for the real world. Humorous anecdotes sprinkled with wisdom and informational insights help add new dimensions to our thinking.
I would suggest that you read the book a little at a time—as you would savor a good meal—and slowly begin to integrate Meryl's suggestions. Whether you're living in recovery or just beginning the journey, this wonderful book will add tremendously to your knowledge. You'll see why I love Meryl Beck! And why I love the path to recovery she has chosen.
—Jeanne Rust, PhD CEO and Founder, Mirasol Eating Disorder Treatment Centers Tucson, Arizona
Acknowledgments
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
—MARCEL PROUST, PLEASURE AND DAYS
I AM VERY APPRECIATIVE OF the many individuals and “family” groups who have made my soul bloom throughout my journey.
My biological family was with me through thick and thin, literally. Although I had challenges growing up, my parents, May and Bob Hershey, always did the best they could and I feel incredibly loved by them. I can also always count on my sister and brother, Bonnie and Denny Hershey; family love runs strong through our veins and hearts!
My illustrator, the talented, wise, generous, and very loving Alison Hershey Manes is also my beloved daughter. She is a blessing in my life, as are her five awesome daughters who bring me immense joy.
The Twelve-Step Recovery community became my family of choice in the 1970s and gave me the best education I ever received (and I have two master degrees!). These folks loved me until I learned to love myself and I am forever grateful. With their help and support, I experienced physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual recovery: I learned about feelings, had a spiritual awakening, began to engage in healthy eating, and moved into self-acceptance.
My spiritual family also loves me unconditionally, and I am very thankful for them. Robin Trainor Masci, my best friend, was the first person to hold up a mirror and show me the awesomeness of my true self; I am immensely grateful that I can always count on her friendship and her love. Many others have been my cheerleaders and supporters as I wrote this book, including Janet Mooney, who makes me laugh every day and strongly encourages the best in me, and Mark Naseck, my soul brother, who celebrates all the victories with me. I am appreciative of many others, way too numerous to mention, who hold the energy for me and see me in my highest self.
An acknowledgment also goes to my writing family. In 2010 I attended Tom Bird's writing retreat and birthed this book. I am grateful for Tom's encouragement and for the support of all my classmates, especially my roommate, Jerelyn Schultz, and the Tucson writing group that was formed with Mimi Villifane, CJ Walker, Jan, and Jere.
Many folks worked with me in the revision stage of the book. Thanks to Laura George for her reassurance and care in helping me through the writing-publishing process. Mary Langford did a phenomenal job assisting with the submission package and the first few chapters of the book before she became ill; working with her was easy and fun, and I continue to pray for her optimal health. When I needed quick editing help, Mimi and Ellie Starer graciously jumped in. Then the very observant eyes of Andra Ewton and Windy Jones took over and I relished being able to count on them, the ease of working with them, and the invaluable suggestions they made.
Conari Press has become my newest family, and I am so thankful that my dear friend Nancy Burson recommended them. I feel indebted to Caroline Pincus who told me my writing was “Terrific. Just terrific,” and decided to take a chance on me, an unknown author. The editorial help I have received from Caroline Pincus and Susie Pitzen has been invaluable, I love Jim Warner's cover design, I appreciate Martha Knauf's assistance, and I look forward to working with Pat Rose and everyone else at Conari who is going to bat for me (and the book)!
Jeanne Rust has been a friend for several years and I so appreciate her believing in me, seeing my light, and writing the foreword.
Although I don't always get to the conferences, the energy psychology community has felt like a family to me and holds a special place in my heart. We are all indebted to Kate Sorenson, my incredibly wise soul sister, who instituted the Energy Psychology Conference in 1999, and to my ingenious teacher and colleague, Gary Craig, who so generously gave EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) to the world.
And finally, I applaud my clients and the many women I sponsored for trusting me enough to test out the methods discussed throughout this book. It has been a blessing to walk beside them and support them in their growth and recovery.
Thank you.
Introduction
Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
—JAMES BALDWIN, THE CROSS OF REDEMPTION: UNCOLLECTED WRITINGS
DESPITE THE FACT THAT AMERICANS are obsessed with weight and spend over $60 billion a year on diets and diet products, has it done any good?
The media screams out to us on a daily basis: We have an obesity epidemic! According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, over two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese. Many of the millions of heavy people have an eating disorder, which has the highest mortality rate of any mental health diagnosis, including depression. Binge eating, the most common eating disorder in the United States, affects over twenty-five million people. This diagnosis has received a lot of media attention recently because the American Psychiatric Association is recommending that it be considered a separate, distinct eating disorder, as are bulimia and anorexia.
Though not all obese individuals are compulsive overeaters, experts believe that about 75 percent of overeating is emotional eating—using food to deal with feelings. Although everyone turns to food for comfort on occasion, such as hot soup or hot chocolate on a cold winter's night, or something sweet to chew on after a fight with your honey, the compulsive overeater turns to food as the primary means of coping with everyday stress, anxiety, and other difficult feelings. We have an emotional hunger. Some of us eat because of an inner emptiness, and some of us become addicted to sugar and refined carbohydrates as a result. “Fast food has become the opiate of the masses,” fitness trainer Chris Powell declared on Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. Compulsive eating begins as an attempt to ease emotional pain, but it ends up making us feel even worse.
As a licensed professional clinical counselor, I have worked with compulsive overeaters and binge eaters for over twenty years. In addition, I, too, am a (recovered) food junkie and spent many years quelling feelings by shoving ice cream
